TO: JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
The names listed below have signed this virtual petition because they have yet to follow the dialogue or plot of a single cinematic/televised event you have appeared in, largely because they’ve been too busy staring at your unfortunately always-covered rack. They’re sure you take pride in your craft, but the fact remains: the roles and films you’ve chosen, your acting skills and camera presence… no one gives a s*** about any of that. We just want to see your boobs. [continued]
The guys at Gorillamask are fed up with Jennifer Love Hewitt’s antics. Stop making bad movies and TV shows, start showing us your ta ta’s.
Check out the petition here. Unfortunately, the signature period has already closed so you can’t sign it. But you can check out the 2,700+ who have. Nice.
Sweden is gearing up to celebrate Greta Garbo’s 100th birthday, despite her passing away 15 years ago. Meanwhile, we here at Best Week Ever would like to wish Louis XIV a happy 367th birthday today!
Adraiaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!! Rocky to lose his wife in Rocky VI. It’s expected to be his biggest loss since he lost his dignity in Rocky V.
Nicole Kidman has been named the richest young Australian celebrity. Paul Hogan scrambles to make Crocodile Dundee 4.
Some guy has broken the Guinness record by watching TV for almost 70 hours. Those Laguna Beach marathons have a way of sucking you in, don’t they?
Nintendo has unveiled their revolutionary one-handed controller. Now that gamers have a free hand, Tomb Raider sales are expected to skyrocket.
Are you sick of your "In Da Club" ringtone? Check out Bliptones, the world’s first "indie-only ringtone webstore." Be the first kid on your block with a Clap Your Hands Say Yeah ringtone… and then, the first one to dismiss them as being "so over!"
Donald Trump to make appearance on a Soap Opera, his comb-over holds out for more money and it’s own trailer.
Marky Mark claims lots of men follow him into the john to check out his
johnson. Patrons at the Man Hole and Blue Oyster are unavailable for
Swiss Death Metal band Almagortis releases "Chainsaw Ass Massacre,"
raising question of which is funnier: "Chainsaw Ass Massacre" or "Swiss
Gwyneth Paltrow is teaching her daughter Apple to speak Spanish. Preparing her for a life of being called Manzana.
Okay. Try to read this story without cracking a smile. I double dog dare you: Paul McCartney’s wife loses her leg after attempting to crash a J.Lo
fashion show when she tried to preach to Mrs. Lopez about the evils of wearing fur only to be kicked out by security before reattaching her leg.
TV chef Rachel Ray is now engaged. This means she can finally start eating what she cooks.
Indian girl weds lover’s brother to beat the law. Looks like call centers aren’t the only thing Arkansas is outsourcing.
Zookeepers install seven-ton treadmill to keep isolated female elephant
from getting fat. She will likely just use it to hang the clothes from her
Cityrag investigates this very question. Plastic surgeons everywhere are now asking themselves "why the hell didn’t we think of that. It’s so simple"![Cityrag link]
Here is a small collection of hilarious short films for your viewing pleasure, courtesy of Therapy films. They are short and not all that sweet.[link]
A drunk Angelina Jolie is still well… Angelina Jolie. Only your chances of getting some have increased ever so slightly (just make sure to mention that it’s for a good cause). Why post these pictures? Why not. I like any excuse to gawk at Ms. Jolie’s beauty.[I don't like you in that way link]
"THE Daily Mirror today reveals shocking pictures of supermodel Kate Moss snorting a fat line of cocaine during a debauched drugs and drink session with junkie lover Pete Doherty."
Five lines of coke in the space of 40 minutes, you say? Not the former heroin sheik model Kate Moss who so happens to be in healthy and happy relationship with a ‘rock star’? Not again! I guess that $30,000.00 stomach implant of Naltroxene she bought her man was sort of a waste of money. Imagine the coke she could have bought with $30,000.00. She could have built a house with that much cocaine… and then you know, snorted it down in only five "fat" lines.[Mirror article] [gigawise article] [gawker article]
Added: Well, the picture has surfaced.
"Two guys and a couch see a little bit of the city; 35-freak laden NYC
blocks, in fact. Check out this photo journal in which porn, pizza, fat
guys in Hummers, and an accordion slinger all glide past as a humble
bit of furniture has a night on the town. Includes some great pictures,
a few short videos, and for some reason a person freely choosing to eat
at a Dominoâ€™s Pizza in New York City."
A completely reasonable way to spend an evening in New York.[Screenhead link]
Orlando, of course, pleaded "not guilty", but he had no problem pointing a finger at those "filthy thieving hobbitses".[bbspot link]