Afternoon Quick Hits

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Director David Lynch wants your children to meditate in school. He
directed Blue Velvet, so this is actually pretty normal for him.

Al Gore’s network to show the most popular Google searches of the day
at the top and bottom of every hour. I for one am looking forward to
seeing "free naked Britney" scroll across my TV screen every 30 minutes.

Harrison Ford to stay on as chairman of Experimental Aircraft
Association’s program to introduce children to flying. Former chairman
John Denver unavailable for comment.

Florida State unveils world’s largest magnet. Heard saying, "I’m kind of a big deal".

Sean Connery to retire from films, fed up with Hollywood "idiots."  Alex Trebek surrenders.

Leave It To Bush! #003: Strangers On A Train

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  Well folks, Ken McIntyre’s Leave It To Bush series is back and how can you go wrong with Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Walken? It’s a comedy gold moment in flash animation. Those of you living under a virtual rock can find the first two episodes here. Language may not be safe for work.[Episode 3 link]

Beckham plays footsies

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There was a time when David Beckham’s right foot could do no wrong. Then came that missed penalty.
Now, in the view of one eagle-eyed magazine editor at least, it
appears the most famous foot in Britain has committed another
infringement.

Hmm. You have to be a little bit impressed. The guy just never quits. He’s accused of adultery every other week and he is still at it and in public no less. If this has any truth to it at all, Beckham better watch out or Posh Spice is going to cut his money makers off.[link]

Monday Morning Quick Hits

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Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber sells at auction for $200k George Lucas reportedly wonders why he even bothered with
"that prequel crap."

After
receiving critical acclaim for remake gems such as The Stepford Wives
and Bewitched, Nicole Kidman signs on to tackle a remake of Invasion of
the Body Snatchers.

By the power of gayskull, errr grayskull, the first 33 episodes of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe are coming to DVD on Oct  18th.

  Proving
once and for all that if you lose the carbs, you can lose it all,
Atkins
shows up in court eager to show off its new, slimmer self.

Unauthorized translation of Harry Potter hits stores in China for 10
times less
than what the official book sells for. Unknown if book is by
the same person who wrote "Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-To-Dragon"
in 2002.

Jennifer Aniston sends ex-boyfriends plans to sell toilet paper love note down the crapper.

 

The Real Laguna Beach

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From left to right: some girl, some girl, LC, Lo

If you’re a fan of the hit MTV show Laguna Beach like I am, then today’s your lucky day. Behold, Lo’s webshots photo albums.

With pictures with titles like "Oh wow drunk" and "wow were so hot," and an album titled, "me and my biatch" this is required viewing for all you LB fans out there. And LC fans too.

Check out sexybiatch101′s photo albums here. This post is Dunzo.

i like girls that wear abercrombie and fitch

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Abercrombie and Fitch has taken a turn towards the HILARIOUS! Step aside Urban Outfitters, now you have some competition in the "ridiculous novelty t-shirt" department.

These shirts are listed on the a&f website as "celebrity" tees, and boy, are they clever. Let’s start with the "Orlando makes me sweat" tee. Now, upon first glance you’d think "Oh, of course Orlando makes you sweat, it’s a city in Florida and it gets awfully humid down there." Right? WRONG! This is a play on words baby! If you’re wearing this shirt, what you’re really saying is Orlando BLOOM makes me sweat because he’s so damn hot! Yow! Or, if you’re a guy wearing this shirt, you’re saying Orlando Bloom makes me sweat because I’m pretty sure he’s into dudes and I’m afraid he might do something to me while I’m sleeping. But either way, it works.

Now, the "What is Scientology? No seriously" tee lets people know two things: 1) you’re sick of hearing about Tom and Katie, and 2) you’re really not a smart person. Perfect! Put me down for 5 of them!

Check out the rest of abercrombie’s celebrity tees here… and long for the days when their website was full of naked teenagers hanging from tire swings.