"The heartwarming saga of a f**king ninja who is here
                      to kick you to f**k
man who speaks multiple languages,
                      beats up people, & drives a Porsche."

May not be safe for work due to language but here lies a Progressive Boink post you are sure to love. Especially if you hate pants.[One Very Scorpion-esque Link]

While you’re visiting PB, be sure to check out the
                      25 Greatest Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Moments

Paris talking trash



Is Paris talking trash about Mary Kate? Or is it Nicole? Chances are it’s one of the girls beside her. Then again there is probably no one even on the phone. Don’t worry your pretty little head over Mary Kate. She’s got a 5 point plan…or something. I wasn’t really paying attention.[Link]

Link thanks to:

Thursday Morning Quick Hits



Madonna apparently has a patent on having long hair, liking fashion and marrying a Brit.

If John Mayer leaves you dozens of voice mail messages where he’s
singing bad rap songs to you
, he has your number mixed up with Kanye

Newly de-coked Kate Moss makes the cover of Vanity Fair this month. "We
wanted to shoot her one more time, you know, before she gets too fat".

50 Cent
says Bush loves black people, will also release album of duets with Burt Bacharach.

Michael Jackson

   teams up with R. Kelly. Birds of a feather, blah blah blah…

star, age 16, regularly travels an hour to see 23-year-old
to have his hair done; No word on what kind of gel they use.

Tyra Banks goes undercover as a 350lb fat woman and learns what it’s like to be Star Jones for a day.

Money can’t buy you class…



Normally such a headline would be about Paris Hilton but this time it’s Stavros Niarchos III in the spoiled brat attention whoring spotlight. According to the New York Post, Stavros offered a homeless man outside of Burger King $100 to dump a soda on himself to impress his peers. I’ll give you a $100 Stavros if you let me give you a swift kick in the head. Come on over. Sounds like Paris has met her match. Fo’reals this time.[NY post article]

Boobs can only do so much!




, on her experience with therapy: "I respect knowledge of the
psyche. I would be a therapist if I weren’t an entertainer."
Hear that noise off in the distance? That’s the sound of Freud
surrendering.[yahoo story]

Now as a woman lacking superior boobies, it’s good to know that while they may be able to lure in innocent victims, get discounts from mechanics, aquire posh seating at restaurants and function as flotation devices in emergency circumstances, they are incapable of saving one’s psyche. Count it…that’s Ms. Simpson 0, Me 1.

I yam what I yam!



Oh, what is this? A house of ill repukes? Ooh, who’d bring me infant to
this den of immoraliky? Don’t touch nothin’. You might get a venerable
They’ve got me Olive Oyl and Swee’Pea!