Thursday Morning Quick Hits

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Richard Branson’s latest adventure: starting an anti-snob wine operation that uses screw-top lids.

Paris Hilton cell phone hacker gets 11 months in a juvenile facility, job at Microsoft upon release pending.

Home Shopping Network launches new reality show. Participants to lie
about ugly overpriced jewelry and attempt to convince old ladies into
buying it.

Surreal Life producers begin drooling like dogs as arrest warrant issued for Dennis Rodman.

James
Brown’s wife
flees with their child, currently in hiding; said she’s
tired of the drugs and abuse, needs to jump back, kiss herself.

Sex Pistols to be honored on London’s Walk Of Fame. God Save The Queen.

98 Degree singer is not giving up on political career. He returns to studio to continue a ‘music’ career he should give up on.

Shanghai
resident told to learn to speak the English more goodly so visitors confuse they don’t at 2010 Expo of World.   uh….

I can see the FOX reality TV show now: When good sea lions go bad.

China hoping to make condom use as common as eating cabbage.  In other news, eating cabbage is  known to be historically difficult in China.

image thanks to:
The Cobra Snake

Wednesday Afternoon Quick Hits

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Britneyspearshanbok

Today may be the paparazzi’s lucky day. Is it time for the very pregnant Britney Spears to go pop?

Simon Cowell in talks to make American Idol movie, pretends "From Justin to Kelly" never happened.

As thousands of hurricane victims struggle to survive, Russell Crowe
whines because conviction on phone-throwing incident could prevent him
from working in the U.S.

Jimi Hendrix’s boyhood home saved from wrecking ball, slated to become
a nuisance when poor renditions of "Purple Haze" from young aspiring
musicians threaten to torture neighbors.

Wacko Jacko hosts party for kids at water park. Full body speedo suit ensues. Where is the Sun and why are there no photos yet? Come on people, get your acts together. Pervert+ Pool+ Children+ Pictures= Paparazzi goldmine. No?

Heidi Klum’s new baby has a name 8x longer than the father’s name. World, meet Henry Guenther Ademola Dashtu Samuel.

Damon Wayans will send his sons to Iraq when President Bush sends his
daughters too. No word on what it will take for Damon Wayans to send his 14 siblings to Iraq.

TIVO gets a new feature. Now networks can decide what you can
TIVO and can decide how long recordings last. All your base are belong to them.

Stop the Mmm Bop!

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"While there are lemonade stands and bake sales from Connecticut to California, some schools are finding more creative vehicles.
Delone Catholic High School in McSherrystown, Pa., has a fun fundraising program called "Stop the Bop."
"

This Pennsylvania high school has decided to raise money for Katrina victims by playing "MMMbop" over its loudspeakers until they reach their donation goal. Brilliant and maybe just a little bit evil.[CBS news story]

Ty Ty Crazy

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Afterandbefore

"If its Monday premiere was any indication, The Tyra Banks Show
isn’t so much a talk show as it is a circus. Part of it is because Tyra
Banks is almost literally a clown (being, like, a quarter chromosome
away from a drag queen). The other thing that gives this show the
three-ring feel is Tyra’s seeming willingness to pack all 180 ideas she
hatched for show segments into its first week. Here’s her mission
statement, as outlined in her monologue.."

I wish I could go back in time and watch this. fourfour sums up the new Tyra show for those who missed the premiere episode. With this show and a Mr. T daytime talk show on the way, I think I will rethink canceling cable TV.[fourfour link]

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy

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"Here’s the entire collection
of all 13 "Celebrity Jeopardy" episodes  on Saturday Night Live. Enjoy!"

Relive your favorite SNL Celebrity Jeopardy moments. I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will.
What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?[smit happens link]

Link thanks to:
GorillaMask

Wednesday Morning Quick Hits

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Insidefantastic4alba

Depeche
Mode

   fans who pre-order the group’s new album on-line will get priority
when it comes to buying tickets
for their upcoming tour and may be able
to convince Depeche Mode to play their living room on their upcoming tour. Okay I may have lied about that last part.

Grateful Dead tour bus for sale. $200,000 price includes bonus of
enough of Jerry Garcia’s DNA in the seat cushions to make 47 copies of
him.

Man accused of trying to kidnap David Letterman‘s son charged with a slightly lesser crime,  overcharging for house-painting services.

Clooney
and Pitt can’t get a ride, pays a kid $1823 for a lift to New York City. I would have traded Pitt a ride for a ride.

Neve Campbell not going to star in Scream 4. Common sense scores rare victory.

Jessica Alba launches line of kids clothing. Your toddler wants a push-up bra.

Natalie Portman discovers lesbians find bald girls attractive. ha. um…Not going to touch this one. Nope.

Man swigs a Mountain Dew, is surprised to discover he is drinking mellow yellow.

Skeletor holds up bank. He-man surrenders.