Tuesday Quick Hits



Paris Hilton was attacked by her pet monkey. I’m not going to make a joke, I just want you to read that sentence over and over and over again.

Not niiiiiiiiiiice. The Kazkh government is threatening to take Sasha Baron Cohen, a.k.a. Borat to court for making fun of thier country. Once they establish a system of government and improve transport he’ll be in so much trouble.

Ozzy is terrified that he’s going to catch the bird flu. From this point out he’s limiting his bat-biting incidents to once-a-week as a cautionary measure.

When you see names like Jerry Rice, Robert Wagner, Lisa Rinna, and Drew Lachey next to one another it can only mean one thing: time for another crappy reality show!

Yes, a woman has put a Daniel Radcliffe/ Harry Potter countdown clock online so you can count down the seconds until he turns 18. Because, you know, most teenage boys hold out until they’re 18. Right?

A beverage company has unveiled salmon-flavored soda. This is a classic case of supply and demand: They supply it, you demand they stop.

And finally, the BIG NEWS of the day! Jude and Sienna are… ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

The Worst Album Covers EVER


Some of these images are downright vulgar. Some of them show a complete lack of artistic skill and execution. A greater portion fail because they neglect to serve their purpose: to represent and sell the music inside.

Panterametalmagic Cheriparalyze Feldmancoreyloveleft Weezermaladroit_1 Jackycircoencantadodajacky Rollingstonesdirtywork

Check out the full list from those hipsters over at Pitchfork here. I have to warn you though: some of these covers are downright vulgar and not appropriate for work. Actually, they’re not appropriate for anything. You’ve been warned.

So, what are you thoughts? Are any missing? Where’s the Lindsay Lohan "Speak" cover? There are questions that need to be answered.




LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) — It’s a fade out for "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" after next month’s finale.

Sources said that NBC has passed on ordering another round of episodes of the Stewart-hosted edition of "The Apprentice," which has struggled in the ratings since its September 21 premiere. [continue reading]

Those people over at NBC are brave. Martha’s a hardened criminal, who knows how she’s going to react to this! Note to execs: No more cooking segments for Miss Stewart- keep all sharp objects far, far away.

The Day in David



David Cross. You have to love the guy.  In case you haven’t noticed, he’s all over the internet this week. Check it out.

1. In this audio clip, David says what we’re all thinking. Well, all of us who are confused / angry / and completely depressed over the news that Arrested Development is on the way out. Damn you Fox. And damn you marketing department. Here’s his rant.

2. The Strokes are cool. David Cross is cool. So it makes sense for David Cross to make a cameo in the new "leaked" Strokes video. Oh, and things that are "leaked" are cool too.

3. David has his own impersonator wreaking havoc in the East Village. And by wreaking havoc I mean getting his picture taken by people who think they’re looking at David Cross.

Man, it’s only Monday. Who knows where else DC is gonna pop up before this week is over. Stay tuned.

The truth about diamonds and spoiled brats who get book deals.



Chapter One
Reserved Seating
Chloe Parker would be a terrible role model if she were famous. Trouble is that she was about to be.

It started innocently enough, or as innocent as you can get on the dance floor of one of the hottest clubs in L.A.The nightclubs of L.A. are like soap operas, except they’re not Days of Our Lives; they’re more like Passions — crazy stuff happens, and no one bats a fake eyelash. There’s always some bizarre drama that plays out every night, and everyone in the cast — I mean, everyone —
is great looking, stoned, and/or drunk. It’s like a traveling freak
show that stars the youngest and hottest in Hollywood. It’s about fun,
and sex, and pseudo-danger.

Wow. Just wow. "Her first kiss, her first crush on a gay guy, the first time she saw Jimmy Choo sandals, the first time someone passed her a joint — all happened in a club." Can you hear that? That’s the sound of the world’s tiniest violin playing for Ms. Richie. For the love of jebus… If this winds up on a best seller list or Oprah’s book club, I’m calling it quits on books forever. Take a peak at what may be the worst book ever written. ever.. [MSNBC article]