Tom gets so, so wet

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Cruise_wet

I thought we’d mix it up today and start things off with a little something revolving around Tom Cruise. Shocking, eh?

This video makes me wish that South Park was putting out new episodes right now, because god only knows what they’d do with this whole thing. [Watch Video Here]

Ikea Madness & Spoiled Rotten Computer Geeks

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Ikea_commercial

This commercial confuses the hell out of me. All I know is that it’s for Ikea and there is some dancing….singing and[direct download]

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Reason why not to have kids # 6,326

Mom_kid


"You said you’d get it for me… that makes you a liar!  That’s bulls***!"[link]


A kid forgets to turn his headphones
off during an X-Box live game of Rainbow Six and starts to fight with
his poor…poor mother. Every single stereotype you could think of a 14 year old computer gamer lies here. I bet you he’s even in the basement. (
Google Cheat (to avoid hotlinking), could not find any other link to it)

Best.Camping.Trip.Ever.

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Camping6

Peter: Good thing I bought that cloud insurance

(Two clouds in sky)

Cloud 1: So Bill, we attack tomorrow

Cloud 2: Yes, tomorrow…

Cloud 2: I mean it this time

Cloud 2: I do too

The Clouds attacked.[link]

What Could Have Made Sideways Better

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Sideways

 

 Shut up. Shut up. Shut the hellup. If I hear just one more person talk about how great the movie Sideways is, I’m going to snap. Scratch that. I’ve already snapped, I’ve purchased a gun, and my finger is just aching to pull the trigger on the next person who gives praise to that complete waste of two hours that they have the balls to call 
a film.

Haven’t you always wondered what could have made the film Sideways better? I didn’t. But the National Lampoon guys did…and now that I’ve read this, I agree with them completely.[link]

Free Icccccccccccceeeeeeeeeecreammm!

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It’s Free Icecream day at Starbucks…

Nzsex

It’s an icecream social. On June 29th a Starbucks near you will be sharing….

Starbucks, enough is enough already. We like you. Stop putting out albums, stop letting us surf the internet for free,  stop giving out free icecream, just stop being so gosh-darn-nice all the time. You are like that friend who lets people walk all over them and eventually we are going to get bored and we are going to take all your crap and go hang out with Dunkin Donuts because he’s a little more dangerous.

…and we like our coffee served with a little bit of danger. [Free icecream today]

Morning Quick Hits: Confusing Sex, Tigers and Big Ol’ Butts

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Eyeswideshut

Tom Cruise confessed he doesn’t like sex outside a relationship because he finds it "confusing". He has a hard time figuring out who’s supposed to be the woman.

Starbucks is selling bootleg Bob Dylan coffee house recordings… coincidentally, recorded in other coffee houses.

USDA fails to find the cause of the tiger attack on Roy Horn. Oh HEY, USDA! You want to know why the tiger attacked Horn? It’s…because he’s a f***king TIGER.

Christopher Walken says that a good marriage is based on timekeeping. Of course, anybody would pay more attention to their watch if that uncomfortable piece of metal was up their ass for two years.

Fox News thinks a "new watergate" would be unlikely due to today’s journalistic ethics regarding unnamed sources. In other news, apparently Fox News has journalistic ethics. Who knew?

Jennifer Aniston may quit Hollywood to pursue other interests such as fashion, hair styling and particle physics.

Mexico to let citizens cast votes by mail.  What could possibly go wrong?

Lance Armstrong is all set to launch his own clothing line. The French have already demanded drug tests for all seamstresses involved.

J-Lo campaign not working well in Africa, as young girls are trying to lose their posteriors.  And Sir Mix-a-Lot weeps.. a-lot.