While You Were Sleeping With Your Eyes Open



  • After years and years of late night monologue jokes, Calista Flockhart finally eats a sandwich (or forty).
  • The trailer for Will Ferrell’s new NASCAR-themed movie Talladega Nights has hit the Internets.  As excited as you think you are, your enthusiasm is no match for the financial horniness of Sony Pictures, who can hardly contain their desire to roll around in all the money this movie is going to make them.
  • Could Bandidas be the way newer, way spicier, WAY BETTER Brokeback Mountain?
  • Could someone tell the Germans to stop being so German?
  • ‘Jaws’ author Peter Benchley has passed away, and Hollywood is already preparing to defile his legacy with a completely unnecessary re-make.
  • Jessica Simpson cheesy bites game soundboard Pizza Hut thing.  I have no idea.

Dick Hunt


Dick_hunt_1I was wondering when the first Dick Cheney / Duck Hunt video would get posted on the internet. It didn’t take long at all.

Now, by no means is this overly entertaining. Unless of course you happen to be a big Aerosmith fan or a big fan of watching somebody repeatedly getting their head shot off. If either of those two things sound appealing, click here.

If not, don’t click. Instead, just feel good about the fact that Dick Cheney shooting a man in the face is probably the least evil thing he’s done all week.

Grey’s Anatomy Writes Its Wrongs



If you didn’t get enough Grey’s Anatomy after last night’s episode, check out the blog maintained by the show’s writers. The talented staff, responsible for making hospitals combine  elements of a college dormitory and the last twenty minutes of Die Hard, have created a site where they can justify their writing. In today’s post, show creator ‘Shonda’ explains:

"I’ve heard a lot of talk about Meredith being whiny but the truth is, she’s got a mom with Alzheimer’s, no other family to speak of, and the man she loves is married.She’s pretty freaking lonely, people.  She’s got a right to get her whine on."

Is this really about Meredith?

Is Leo Sayer Having the Best Week Ever?


Okay, you might not know who Leo Sayer is, but you know his songs, especially "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" and "When I Need You." (He also looks a little Richard Simmons, but that’s beside the point.)


Anyway, we haven’t seen much of him since the late ’70s, but now he might just be having the Best Week Ever. Check it out:

[A] remix of a 29-year-old Leo Sayer obscurity puts the erstwhile British star on top of the singles chart. "Thunder In My Heart" by Meck featuring Leo Sayer came to be after the DJ found a copy of Sayer’s modest 1977 hit of that name in a bargain bin. His remix became a hot club item and after clearances were obtained, Sayer began promoting the track some weeks ago. It now gives him a second U.K. No. 1 to go alongside "When I Need You," from early 1977.

This reminds me what my dad used to tell me: You can never count out Leo Sayer.

While You Were Shoveling



If you live in the North East you know what I’m talking about. Here’s what you missed while you were digging your car out:

  • Busta Rhymes missed his bodyguard’s funeral. But don’t give him a hard time; he was far too busy trying to keep y’all in check.
  • Kate Moss is worried that she’s losing her short-term memory. And that everybody in the room is looking at her. And that 7-11 will be all out of Ho-Ho’s when she gets there.
  • NBC is planning its own version of American Idol. Yes! Finally! A reason to not watch NBC!
  • Chris Martin of Coldplay says the band’s next album will be the greatest album in history. And it will contain the best song ever. And it’ll be titled "Revolver." And all the songs will be written and performed by John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr.
  • The 130th Westminster’s Kennel Club Dog Show goes down tonight at Madison Square Garden. I hear it’s the place to be to pick up bitches.

Shut Up, Dr. Yang. Stat!



Did anyone else want to slap Dr. Yang last night? Could she have picked a worst time to say that Meredith had the bomb in her hand? And what was she doing there anyway? I was hoping she’d be the pink mist by the end of the show. Of course, I’ll still be watching next week to find out if she and Dr. Burke will ever talk honestly while they are awake…

(Get the writers’ perspective here.)

Cookie Monster: More Metal Than You


Cookie_monsterTake a good look at the picture to the left people. THIS is the face of heavy metal.

Cookie Monster. To some, Mr. Monster is just a loveable muppet who resides on Sesame Street and enjoys indulging in the occasional cookie or 3. To others, he’s a heavy metal inspiration. The voice of a generation. A furry blue, balls-out, hard-rocking, unapologetic, barely-understandable touchstone that has influenced heavy-metal singers since the 1980′s. Don’t believe me? Hey, it was in the Wall Street Journal’s Op/Ed section this month, it must be true.

Death-metal vocalizing is also
known as Cookie Monster singing, if not in tribute to, at least in
acknowledgment of, the "Sesame Street" puppet that blurts in a guttural
growl, his words discharged so rapidly that they tend to collide with
each other. (keep reading here)

So if you’re one of those people who had trouble taking heavy-metal seriously before, I’m sorry, but now it’s going to be damn near impossible. You’re not going to be able to listen to Motorhead without thinking about how many cookies Lemmy ate on his way to the studio. If anything, this just proves what I’ve been saying for ages: The Muppets are the most influential musical artists ever. Don’t even get me started on the Animal-inspired school of drumming. Animal play! Yayayayayaya!!!!

Special thanks to Product Shop NYC for brightening up my not-so-heavy-metal Monday with this story.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN ERA: Weekend Box Office Results


PantherHere are the top 5 films people paid their hard-earned money to see this week:

1.  Unnecessary re-make of a classic film starring an actor whose increasingly desperate need for artistic legitimacy results in a misguided attempt to fill the impossibly large shoes of one of cinema’s greatest comedic geniusus — $21.7 million

2.  Completely unnecessary SECOND sequel to a ridiculous teen horror film that should have gone straight to video the first time around, but has somehow managed to become a trilogy – $20.1 million

3.  Adaptation of a popular and recognizable series of children’s books that replaces the creativity of the originals with a couple random movie stars and the desperate hopes that the name brand will be strong enough to sucker people into theaters (and judging by the 3rd place debut, it wasn’t) – $15.3 million

4.  Harrison Ford tries to save his familyYet again.  And nobody seems to care. – $13.8 million

5.  A teenage babysitter gets harassed by a deranged killer (from inside the house!) for oh, I don’t know…about the bajillionth time since the 1980′s – $10 million

Once again, Hollywood – you keep making great films, we’ll keep rewarding you by coming to see them!

Worth1000: X-Ray Vision


Worth1000 is the best site on the net for cool photoshop contests. And this X-Ray Vision one they posted this week is one of the coolest ones yet.

Check it out here. Some are fun, some are creepy, and some are… both. Like this X-Ray of Pamela Anderson. You know, I long suspected she had a couple of basketballs underneath her shirt, and now it’s finally been confirmed. Thanks Worth1000!

A Very Special Daily Danza



You may have noticed that everday we post a rollicking clip from our favorite 10am talk show, The Tony Danza Show. Mostly we like to spotlight the many talents of the Italian actor-cum-boxer-cum-lounge-singer-cum-over 60 lady killer. Today however we’ve been alerted to a very serious Danza issue thanks to the concerned folks at Gawker and ignoremagazine.com. It seems that Tony’s 18 year old daughter Katie, has fallen in with the wrong crowd in her freshman year at University of Miami. Word is the waterpipe in her hand may or may not be stuffed with the sticky icky. While our thoughts and prayers are with the Danza family today, we will return with the usual Daily Danza tomorrow.