Afternoon Linkage: From The Queen to the Playboy King

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Queen Latifah is starting her own lingerie line. She’ll serve as the face of "Curvation," while Taxi co-star Jimmy Fallon will serve as the body.

According to this shocking poll, most people think that celebrities make poor role models for children. Russell Crowe and Christian Slater disagree, and swear that they’ll beat & grope the living s*** out of anybody who thinks otherwise.

Joss Stone is fleeing the country. I would totally make a Joss Stone joke here, but I know that if I did some VH1 cronies would rush into my office and break all of my fingers. I’ve seen it happen before.

Could Harrison Ford‘s girlfriend Calista Flockhart be starring in the new Indiana Jones flick? The answer is Yes, but only if they need more skeletons.

And finally, after Hugh Hefner dies (which I’m hoping will be never) he wants the Playboy Mansion to be turned into a tourist attraction. LIke Neverland, only you have to be 21 to enter and the molesting is completely consensual. Usually.

Lohan gone wild?

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06-11-05 Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Wild-child actress Lindsay Lohan jets off to Mexico with ‘Girls Gone Wild’ creator Joe Francis and his posse. The group traveled in Joe’s private jet and spent the weekend at his private beach house in secluded Punta Mita. The group were treated to poolside massages and pedi/manicures, a speedboat and jet skis were at their disposal and food and drinks.

Oh no’s! First she was hanging out with Tara Reid, then Nicole Richie, and now it’s the creator of ‘Girls Gone Wild!?!?!’ Pretty soon Lindsay will be on vacation in Aruba with Rick Solomon, I can guarantee it.

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Pictures thanks to:
JJB

I Never Copped a Feel

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Yee-hee! Jacko’s in court and swears "He never copped a feel, it doesn’t turn him on." Crack open a Jesus Juice and enjoy this musical spoof.

I think we have another few weeks left of poking fun at Michael Jackson. You know, until he does something to top this…[watch now]

Morning Quick Hits: Popes in hats and batty desires

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Pope Benedict Arnold to give up papacy to become a fireman. In a bizarre twist, firemen everywhere are forced to wear that ridiculous Pope hat.

The new Coldplay album debuts at number one this week but don’t expect the title to last, as an album of Super Annoying Ringtones Volume 1 is set to drop next week.

Big Bird and LeVar Burton will be looking for new jobs if all Federal funding for  Public Broadcasting is cut. Bob Ross would roll over in his grave if only his tremendous afro didn’t get in the way. (and yes, that’s the second Bob Ross reference in as many weeks. I’m just gonna come out and say it: Bob Ross is is the new pink.)

Bob Geldof directs hackers to attack Ebay after Live 8 tickets went up for sale. Soon after hackers google "Bob Geldof", they simply shrugged it off and resumed downloading porn.

Kid Rock is being sued by a Dj. Both men seem to be totally okay with telling the press that they got into a fight at a strip club on a Friday night. I…I didn’t know strip clubs were a good place to admit to being at on a Friday night. Oh wait… It was a Monday night! Carry on. My bad.

Jermaine Jackson: "My brother is at peace, stop picking on himTito…yo…get me a tissue! TITO!"

Kirstin Dunst is dating again (and no it’s not Jake Gyllenhaal or as I used to know him until the BWE blog "that dude from Donnie Darko"). She warned potential suitors that her friendship with Jake is forever and ever, kind of like herpes, but much, much moodier.

Britney Spears is engaged again. Hmm. Maybe J-Lo isn’t the celebrity you should be following in the footsteps of sweetie-bear.

Michael Caine
wants a bigger "bat role". Hey Mike, don’t you know it’s not the size of your bat role but how you use it that matters.

Afternoon Linkage: The Past Haunts Us

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Kim Cattrall is still upset about Sex and the City. So long as she knows that no one would have remembered her name had it not been for that show, save a  handful of trekkies who remember her role as a frigid Vulcan in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

Could Michael Jackson be performing at Live 8? Oh, and Mr. Sneddon, he wants his penis pictures back.

Jennifer Garner to ruin another childhood classic. Look for her in Charlotte’s Web, along with Julia Roberts and Dakota Fanning coming to theaters in 2006.

Schwarzenegger was jeered at a Graduation Speech.  As a response, he grabbed a protester and shouted, "Who is your daddy and what does he do?"

Eddie Murphy returns to his musical career in  "Dreamgirls". That sort of makes me want to "Party all the time".

and now for the question we have been asking since the dawn of time: Is Mike D. of the Beastie Boys really related to Dustin Diamond from "Saved by the Bell"?