Afternoon Quick Hits Part 2: Elephants, Monkeys and ‘Dirty’ Torture

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Caguilera

Nicole Richie wants elephant rides at her wedding. Yes, everything is to be over-sized so she looks comparably smaller than everyone and everything. Smart thinking, Ms. Richie.

Christina Aguilera‘s music was used as a means of torture to interrogate a leading al Qaeda suspect at Guantanamo Bay. He didn’t give out any info, but he declared that now he feels beautiful, no matter what they say, and words can’t bring him down.

Pierce Brosnan backs Clive Owen to be the next James Bond. I, for one would like to welcome our (potential) hottest Bond overlord.

Filmmaker Steven Spielberg, believes audiences have lost interest in the cute alien ET. Unless Tom Cruise starts dating it, of course.

Sleepovers are no more in Michael Jackson‘s bedroom. It’s now back to wham, bam, thank you… ma’am?

Afternoon Quick Hits: You should have just stayed in bed this morning

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Seanpenn

Unable to stick to what he’s good at, Sean Penn enjoys playing reporter in Iran.

The dark side of the moon hath frozen over, Pink Floyd to reunite in London for live 8.

Charlotte Church doesn’t want to be fit like Beyonce and Britney, so back off already. Gawd.

Jennifer Lopez is engaged and only after umm… one entire year of marriage too. Nicely played. No one saw that coming. It was her first time celebrating a one-year anniversary, but probably not her last.

Terri Hatcher refuses to wear a bikini and I refuse to see this as a problem.

Britneysextape
and finally the wild and crazy Britney Spears and Kevin Federline sex tape has been leaked to the internet. Watch now.

Futurama’s every title-card as a Flickr set

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Futuramasplashscreen


       

       

From BoingBoing:
A dedicated Futurama fan has produced a Flickr set of framegrabs of
every show’s title-card, wherein a different witty saying (FROM THE
MAKERS OF FUTURAMA, COMING SOON TO AN ILLEGAL DVD, etc) is displayed. Link

You’re watching Futurama, the show that doesn’t condone the cool crime of robbery.
 

Morning Quick Hits: The Marriage Edition

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Parishiltonquits

Paris Hilton plans to leave the limelight. Not to be confused with night-vision.

Katie Holmes jumps headfirst into Scientology.  One more convert and Tom Cruise gets to wear the official Xenu cape for a month. All hail, Xenu.

Alicia Silverstone marries at Lake Tahoe. It was a pretty normal ceremony, up until the point that she and Liv Tyler snuck out, won an amateur stripping contest, shoplifted, and hijaked a tractor from a well built farm boy. What a day!

Demi Moore and Rod Stewart get naked….No, they were not together.

Boxer Kevin McBride reveals that Mike Tyson attempted to bite his nipple during latest bout. Damn, that guy keeps getting kinkier and kinkier.

and Alanis Morissette  who was apparently really "angry" or something, has grown past that. Probably thanks to a few thousand jagged little pills.