Ladies and gentlemen,
Tom Cruise has tossed off the shackles of Hollywood oppression and is
piloting his Scientology-fueled funny car straight towards you. The
tires are smoking and he’s screaming to the stands about Katie,
psychiatry, sex, space aliens, and Brooke Shields. We invite you to
grab some popcorn and watch for a few minutes before the crash…
It’s official people: Tom Cruise is Nuts. Check out the inevitable website that was 2 months in the making…
Hey, did you do anything stupid on the 4th of July? Drink too much? Blow your hand off? Set yourself on fire? No? Okay, well then, you’re much smarter than this guy is. Watch the video here now, and make your very own "do not try this at home" joke later.
Lego movies never get old. Here is a Lego movie featuring time travel, a Lego Rod Serling and feral monkeys.
Watch Out Of Time. (Dial up warning: 20MB file size.)
link thanks to:
Watch more Lego movies at Brick Films.
Watch Samuel L. Jackson and Arnold Schwarzewhatever crash the
Wedding Crashers trailer.[watch now]
I want to watch the whole movie done like this.
Pink Floyd donates entire 1343% increase in sales to charity. Further proof they are gods.
Backstreet Boys tickets not selling, despite low prices and 3-for-2 deals; "it is starting to look like a Spinal Tap tour". No it’s not guys, Spinal Tap played their own instruments.
Pittsburgh fan catches three foul balls in 15 minutes, will start at shortstop for Pirates tonight
thinks that the Governator is considering a run at the White House in
2008. In related news, no one at the AFP has ever read the US
Constitution. Also, Schwarzenegger urges global warming action, as well as the killing of Sarah Connor.
Timberlake pukes on the floor of his own restaurant after he ‘ate too
much’. Restaurant staff discusses selling vomitus on eBay. Speaking of puke, I too puked this morning– but it had to do with Timberlake being considered for the role of Two-Face in the next Batman film.
Members of deviant sect arrested in Malaysia. You don’t understand Islam, I do, said Tom Cruise.
Editorial suggests that "War of the Worlds" serves as preparation for
an inevitable disaster. No word yet on whether "Herbie: Fully Loaded"
will prepare us to be ridden by Lindsay Lohan.
Live 8 Quick recap:
1) "Africans puzzled by Live 8 but hope for change."
Sometimes, the headlines just write themselves.
2) Coldplay’s Chris Martin (who must have been intoxicated on mKabbalah
water) called the Live 8 concert "the greatest thing that’s ever been
organized in the history of the world."
3) The performers enjoyed lobster and took home Â£7,000 goodie bags. Wow
how the hell could they even carry 7,000 pounds!?!?!? I mean sure, this
article is more about how the celebrity ‘guests’ acted like spoiled
rotten brats but I think the real story here lies behind their
From: The Phat Phree
Now I rarely plan a day fully, but since this is my favorite holiday of the year, I have an agenda set that Iâ€™d like to share with you. I encourage you to follow this as close as possible, and I guarantee that you will have a magical and wonderful Independence Day!
9:17 am â€“ Wake up, probably feeling a slight bit hung over from the previous nightâ€™s shenanigans. Recite the Pledge of Allegiance loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.
9:20 am â€“ Take a nice cold shower, listening to Lee Greenwoods Greatest Hits, which I made myself, which is just â€œGod Bless the USAâ€ on repeat. Immediately iron American Flag print polo, navy shorts when I get out of shower.
10:00 am â€“ Head to the convenience store to get beer. Stand in beer section pondering the purchase of either Budweiser or Busch. No â€œliteâ€ products will be considered on this day. Decide to get a case of each. Call woman in store a Communist for purchasing Smirnoff Ice. [Keep reading]
Ah, I love it when a plan comes together. Have a happy 4th of July weekend everybody. Enjoy the fireworks, enjoy the bbq’s, enjoy the Live 8, and enjoy the Best Week Ever- tonight at 11 and all weekend long (when VH1 is re-re-replaying Live 8 for the 32nd time, that is.) Have a good one.
Watching Live 8 this weekend? Of course you are! You want to be aware, don’t you??? Well, the Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker printed up some Live 8 Odds for your enjoyment. Check them out:
Â· Philadelphia Eagles fans will throw D batteries at the concert performers at Art Museum: Even
Â· AOL Musicâ€™s webcast will crash from all the traffic directed to the site: 7/2
Â· An impromptu â€œEbony and Ivoryâ€ duet by Rob Thomas and Stevie Wonder: 17/1
Â· Blood will pour out of my eyes while listening to an impromptu â€œEbony and Ivoryâ€ duet by Rob Thomas and Stevie Wonder: Even
Â· Nelson and Winnie Mandela will reconcile with an open mouth kiss (ala Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley) on stage: 200/1
Â· Rolling Stone will proclaim this â€œThe Concert of the Decadeâ€: 1/10,000,000,000,000
Â· Spin will marginalize the event with a Chuck Klosterman column and complete lack of coverage: 5/1
Â· This concert will inspire â€œHands Across America 8â€: 14/1
More odds here. Thank you Oddjack, thank you.
I wish my books from Childhood would have been this honest with me. Instead I got stuck with material like "Follow that bird" which pretty much destroyed my youth.[link]
If you’ve never seen any of Jay Pinkerton’s work before, I suggest you spend a hefty amount of your paid working day reading everything on his website.
Yeah, we know most of you have seen some of these things already, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t share them with the rest of the class, right? Right.
1) Do you know when your favorite character’s birthday is? Do you even care?
2) The Jerry Seinfeld Dictionary of Terms and Phrases. Who are these people?
3) Jonny learns how to skate. Oh yeah, and ‘Jonny’ is a grasshopper.
4) Play the Virgin game. Guess who is and who isn’t….
5) The single worst thing ever. There’s a special place in hell for people like this.
6) Oh, and if you haven’t already done so, the time is now to make David Lynch is your weatherman. He’s doing them daily.