The Nicole Richie Science Project




Science has come a long way, folks. I’m no scientist, but maybe that was because in high school we had to use boring fake skeletons to learn about our anatomy. I think the children are the future and that they deserve the best tools and specimens to study from. That being said, I think Nicole Richie should do a nation wide school tour so the future rulers of tomorrow can be truly disgusted enriched by the scientific wonders that is Ms. Nicole Richie. Donate that body to science, stat! Do it for the children! [ eat a burger and check out Junk-Feud’s larger picture]

Thursday Afternoon Quick Hits



Good News: "A Current Affair" gets cancelled 8 months into its 2nd run. Bad News: It gets replaced by "Geraldo at Large".

FBI’s website releases dirt on dead celebrities. Liberace was a
gambler, Sinatra volunteered as undercover FBI and Andy Warhol’s 15
minutes of fame will never expire.

Kate Moss being wooed by Scientology to help beat her drug problem. Katie, watch your back.

Rap artist Nelly to star in reality show to bring "more attention to my
nonprofit organizations." Like the Nelly Stripper Pole and Plasma TV

Lynndie England was only trying to "please" her boyfriend by posing for
the Abu Gharib photos. Cue the desire to claw out your mind’s eye
in…. 3…..2…..1

"Looo-cy, you got some ‘splain to do!" heard in Orioles clubhouse as Raffy implicates another teammate in the steroids scandal.

Thursday Morning Quick Hits



Alyssa Milano is out trying to help hurricane victims. Meanwhile, Angela and Mona have still done jack s***.

HBO decided Lisa Kudrow wont comeback to their offices any time soon.

Ed McMahon to tour the country reminiscing about Johnny Carson. Look for his one man show "Living off the talent of a dead man" coming to a town near you.

Chris Martin, who thinks naming your daughter after fruit is a good idea, thinks making a Coldplay country/hip-hop album with Garth Brooks and Kanye West would help the future of music.

Metallica to appear in an episode of the Simpsons. Comic Book Guy heard muttering "Worst Show Ever" while downloading the Black Album.

New Dutch TV show titled "Swallow and Shoot Up" will feature host taking LSD and heroin on air. Fox network nods admiringly…

God spent a little more time on some of us



What better way to start off your day than some coffee and Tyra Bank’s uneven boobies. Is she a normal woman or a freak of nature? Tyra, those boobies of yours maybe strange but you could have a third nipple and a wooden leg most of us would still be interested din fondling ‘em. Good try though…a few more episodes like this and you might be able to convince us you’re human.[four four link]

Also be sure to check out Fourfour’s America’s Next Top Model recap.

Wednesday Quick Hits– The Ladies Only Edition



Sienna Miller has given Jude Law six commandments to follow if he wants to be with her. Only six??? Wow, this girl is low maintenance.

Anna Nicole Smith is happy with her breasts after having them adjusted several times. Finally, Anna Nicole and I have something in common.

Speaking of breasts, Tyra Banks proved hers were real on her new TV talk show. And yes, there was a "touch test" involved. Thank you Tivo.

Keira Knightley has been dumped by her boyfriend. She’s either upset by the whole thing or just pouting to look cute. It’s too hard to tell.

Kate Moss loses Chanel and Burberry. Anybody else reminded of that "Just Say No" commercial in the 80′s where a nose snorts up a television set and a car and a surfboard or something? Yeah, it’s like that. Kinda. Right?

Fans booed Madonna and Guy Richie for not stopping to sign autographs. In other words, fans booed Madonna.

Paris Hilton enjoys lying



One day she is going to shock the world. Just you wait…I think she has a good 5 years left to be ‘naughty’ and then she’s going to turn her life around and before you know it, she’ll be knocking on your front door with a pamphlet on how you too, can change your sinful ways. All we ask of you Paris is to be honest with us. I mean, if you have another sex tape. Cough it up…because you know we will eventually get our hands on it.  All your secrets are belong to us.[ I don’t like you in that way link]