Tuesday Morning Quick Hits



Mr. T to star in "Rocky VI", will probably train Rocky in the art of "pitying fools".

Pair of ruby slippers from "Wizard of Oz" stolen. Witnesses report there is an ugly green-skinned woman heading west.

"It never crossed my mind that if I were thinner, I would get more
says Teri Hatcher, proving that you don’t have to be young and
blonde to be stupid.

Paris Hilton is mad at her sister Nicky for agreeing to be a bridesmaid
in Nicole Richie‘s wedding. So you know whose video will be playin’ at
the bachelorette party.

Gwyneth Paltrow offers advice to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.  This is of course coming from the person who named her daughter Apple.

Two California beach cities fighting over the name "Surf City". Fight
will begin to get nasty, but then issues will be resolved over surfing
duel that ends up being a good-natured clambake.

"A 30-kilogram fish will never jump out of the ocean and land on me,
especially while I am standing here in this boat", mused the boy.
"Thats what you think", murmured God.

Monday Afternoon Quick Hits



Robert Downey Jr. ties the knot - then presses the plunger on the syringe and unties the knot.

Pamela Anderson
drinks cappuccino because it makes her nipples perky. Am I the only one who didn’t know that coffee reacted that way with silicone?

Sharon Osbourne says she’s the one who cut the power during Iron
s set at Ozzfest. She also claimed that she was the "real" iron

Shockingly, Uwe Boll’s latest film, Bloodrayne, sucks.
Not-so-shockingly, his previous attempts at videogame-based movies
sucked worse

Fire department sets training blaze right near large stack of tires. What could possibly go wrong?

Courtney Love – Still Clean, Sober and Butt Ugly?



It was just 5 minutes ago I was wondering what happened to my favorite drugged up / washed up rock star to watch crash and burn. Now I sort of wish I didn’t know what she was up to… perhaps it’s time to start the countdown for her next rehab visit in 5…4…3…2… [link]

New Daily Show Video: The Bush Rap!



    "Its clear Bush has developed a sophisticated exit strategy… for getting out of questions about the war. Bush’s simple, catchy talking points are quite frankly, easy to dance to. Samantha Bee investigates local city council members who are botching other people’s vacations."[ Watch clip]

Link thanks to:

Monday Morning Quick Hits



Dutch "Big Brother" TV show plans for a pregnant contestant who will
give birth during the show, no word if the child will be named Truman.

Nobody expects Natalie Portman to star in the Spanish Inquisition.

Green Day wins Video of the Year and 6 other moonmen at the VMAs. Diddy not amused.

Ashlee Simpson’s new movie where she plays a friend who attempts to
fabricate media buzz to help a friend’s music career flops at the box

Step 1. Bring the NHL back. Step 2. Come out with an NHL Network. Step
3. Make people purchase NHL Network. Step 4. Watch how no one will
subscribe, and the NHL eventually makes it apart of your cable package.

Bruce Springsteen now Boss in Budapest. Everybody’s got a Hungary heart.

Mice can now regenerate.  No word yet on when adimantium will be available.

Mick Jagger says he mimics Hitler onstage. Who is looking forward to how PR is going to cover this one up? I am! Just sprinkle some crack on him, right Chappelle?

We have hit a new all time low again with a "Build your own sitcom!" board game.

Meow Hiss Hiss: Did I miss a VMA cat fight?




Now, I’m going to be honest with you people. I haven’t watched the VMA’s yet but after looking for images this morning I can only assume that by the end of the night, Lohan got the crap kicked out of her by Gwen’s Harajuku girls. Lohan, tsk tsk, you picked the wrong woman to start a cat fight with…[ More Images from last night]

Added link: VMA seating

— Also check out
Ryan McGee’s real-time commentary
from last night’s VMAs. (link thanks to GM)

Friday Afternoon Quick Hits



Alleged trespasser enters Jennifer Aniston’s house. Man says he was
just picking up his things then going back to Angelina’s place.

Sam Gamgee joins the Jack Bauer Power Hour. With the ring of power they will be an unstoppable force.

Australian woman claims to be baby stolen by dingo years ago;
unfortunately DNA tests prove she is actually part dingo herself
(with the most terrifying pic ever).

Rosebud was his sled. Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Thelma and
Louise drove off a cliff and Norman Bates was really mother. Nate
Fisher is dead. We all know the ending of Harry Potter VI. What is the
statute of limitations on spoilers?

Fed up with fatties in Daisy Dukes, Budapest mayor wants female City
Hall staff to wear miniskirts
only if they have "completely perfect
legs", with skirts no higher than 1" above their knee.

Many countries draw a line for art. A pickled fetus head attached to a seagull typically crosses that line.

  NJ Swat teams get new rules designed to prevent troopers from searching the wrong home. First is don’t rely on MapQuest.