Morning Quick Hits: From Pumpkins to Postage



The American Film Institute‘s list of top 100 quotes is up, and I refuse to believe that William Shatner‘s "KHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN" is not on it. It’s blasphemy and I wont stand for it.

Billy Corgan: "I want my band back, and my songs, and my dreams". Oh yeah Billy well I wanted a pony, a pool and a power wheels and I got jack shit. Boo-frikkin’-hoo.

Michael Jackson is now being sued by a woman who claims his dog bit her. Michael said this lawsuit is the worst thing to ever happen to him and he hopes it doesn’t tarnish his image.

Elvis Costello cancels Paris concert for "health reasons." He’s suffering from a mild case of "hasn’t-released-a-really-great-album-in-almost-20-years."

Okay, this next link is so good it requires two separate jokes. Here they are:

Oprah was reportedly denied entry into Hermes boutique in Paris. In related news, France is *so* totally kicked out of her book club.


Oprah was reportedly denied entry into Hermes boutique in Paris. Once Oprah comes into some money and stops dressing like a dirty street whore she should TOTALLY go back there and show those snooty women up.

And finally, Japan is producing a Maria Sharapova postage stamp. Millions of Japanese business men have already proclaimed, "Yeah, I’d lick that."

The VooDoo That You Do



Granted, this picture was taken before the whole TomKat debacle, but it still must be weird for Tommy boy to see a picture of Katie Holmes and Penelope Cruz hanging out together.

[photos here]

Don’t Wake The Beast…


and don’t piss it off either.
Beast_1 Beast_2
Why in all that is sacred would you want to take pictures of it anyway? (Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I’m not hurting Kirstie Alley’s feelings. When you name your show ‘Fat Actress’ you know what’s coming.)

Anyway, I don’t think that’s her– that’s the thing that ate her on that "very special episode" of Star Trek. This is how I will always remember my Vulcan Lt. Saavik:


But then again, if you want more of the beast then go here.

Oh and speaking of beasts, Brandon over at The Superificial dug up an old Titantic size photo ( which is totally not safe for work) this afternoon.

Hose happy pictures thanks to:

Residence of Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis




Wanna see where Paris² live? Don’t pretend not to be a little bit curious… I personally expected more mirrors and maybe a stripper pole in the party room.[link]

In completely unrelated news, Tom Cruise unexpectedly passed away today, only days before his 43rd  birthday. Once again I feel I should remind you that I believe everything I read on the internet. So naturally this means two things, this report is 100% accurate and Xenu is pretty frikkin’ pissed off.

Morning Quick Hits: Snack Edition – Coke, Apples, Doritos And Circus Midgets



Jack Nicholson, not a dull boy, rewrites his threesome scene in the upcoming Scorsese film The Departed. "Jack didn’t feel there was enough Jack in his character" and apparently "Jack" involves snorting cocaine off a partner’s buttocks and dildos!

Tom Cruise‘s squirt-happy pranksters are out on bail and promised to sacrifice their water guns over to Xenu as a peace offering, immediately.

Chris Martin is honoring his baby Apple, by getting a tattoo of her name. Strange, usually when I honor apples I just go ahead and take a big bite out of the middle…

Saddam Hussein is addicted to Doritos and thinks fondly of Ronald Reagan.

…I got nothing for that last one. So I will just carry on with the links.

Cardinal Sin dies, Satan surrenders.


Family Guy movie will be released straight to DVD September 27th. Oh that is freakin’ smurf. That is freakin’ smurf 

PETA tries to stop Shrine Circus.  Next on list:  Santa Claus and his reindeer.

DNA on McDonald’s Burgers link 3 men to a robbery. Sample said to be found in the special sauce…

Harry says Sally can’t fake ‘em anymore. Here comes the science.

Cannabis-based painkiller now available in Canada.  Side effects include munchies, urge to listen to Jimi Hendrix.

Japanese inventors unveil ultra-lifelike robot. In other news, Rick Deckard was arrested at a sushi stand, reportedly brought in for one last job.