Thursday Afternoon Quick Hits



Donald Trump to make appearance on a Soap Opera, his comb-over holds out for more money and it’s own trailer.

Marky Mark claims lots of men follow him into the john to check out his
johnson. Patrons at the Man Hole and Blue Oyster are unavailable for

Swiss Death Metal band Almagortis releases "Chainsaw Ass Massacre,"
raising question of which is funnier: "Chainsaw Ass Massacre" or "Swiss
Death Metal."

Gwyneth Paltrow is teaching her daughter Apple to speak Spanish. Preparing her for a life of being called Manzana.

Okay. Try to read this story without cracking a smile. I double dog dare you: Paul McCartney’s wife loses her leg after attempting to crash a J.Lo
fashion show
when she tried to preach to Mrs. Lopez about the evils of wearing fur only to be kicked out by security before reattaching her leg.

TV chef Rachel Ray is now engaged. This means she can finally start eating what she cooks.

Indian girl weds lover’s brother to beat the law. Looks like call centers aren’t the only thing Arkansas is outsourcing.

install seven-ton treadmill to keep isolated female elephant
from getting fat. She will likely just use it to hang the clothes from her

Therapy Films



Here is a small collection of hilarious short films for your viewing pleasure, courtesy of Therapy films. They are short and not all that sweet.[link]

Supermodels never learn



"THE Daily Mirror today reveals shocking pictures of supermodel Kate Moss snorting a fat line of cocaine during a debauched drugs and drink session with junkie lover Pete Doherty."

Five lines of coke in the space of 40 minutes, you say? Not the former heroin sheik model Kate Moss who so happens to be in healthy and happy relationship with a ‘rock star’? Not again! I guess that $30,000.00 stomach implant of Naltroxene she bought her man was sort of a waste of money. Imagine the coke she could have bought with $30,000.00.  She could have built a house with that much cocaine… and then you know, snorted it down in only five "fat" lines.[Mirror article] [gigawise article] [gawker article]

Added: Well, the picture has surfaced.

The Couch Trip



"Two guys and a couch see a little bit of the city; 35-freak laden NYC
blocks, in fact. Check out this photo journal in which porn, pizza, fat
guys in Hummers, and an accordion slinger all glide past as a humble
bit of furniture has a night on the town. Includes some great pictures,
a few short videos, and for some reason a person freely choosing to eat
at a Domino’s Pizza in New York City."

A completely reasonable way to spend an evening in New York.[Screenhead link]

Thursday Morning Quick Hits



Richard Branson’s latest adventure: starting an anti-snob wine operation that uses screw-top lids.

Paris Hilton cell phone hacker gets 11 months in a juvenile facility, job at Microsoft upon release pending.

Home Shopping Network launches new reality show. Participants to lie
about ugly overpriced jewelry and attempt to convince old ladies into
buying it.

Surreal Life producers begin drooling like dogs as arrest warrant issued for Dennis Rodman.

Brown’s wife
flees with their child, currently in hiding; said she’s
tired of the drugs and abuse, needs to jump back, kiss herself.

Sex Pistols to be honored on London’s Walk Of Fame. God Save The Queen.

98 Degree singer is not giving up on political career. He returns to studio to continue a ‘music’ career he should give up on.

resident told to learn to speak the English more goodly so visitors confuse they don’t at 2010 Expo of World.   uh….

I can see the FOX reality TV show now: When good sea lions go bad.

China hoping to make condom use as common as eating cabbage.  In other news, eating cabbage is  known to be historically difficult in China.

image thanks to:
The Cobra Snake