igod – repenting made easy



Thanks to the ‘Mike Jones’ test, I know this is FAKE. There is no way god doesn’t know who Mike Jones is…No possible way. Nice try ‘igod’….nice try.[ talk to igod]

Unless of course…he knew it was me pretending to be Mike Jones…and was doing it to F**k with me.  Touche, god, touche.

Rebecca Romijn Stamos O’Connell



That’s right people. Rebecca Romijn is engaged to Jerry O’Connell.

Since Rebecca and Jerry are arguably the most exciting Hollywood couple since Renee and Kenny, I thought we should list some highlights from their filmographies in honor of the good news.

  • Kangaroo Jack (JO)
  • Tomcats (JO)
  • DIrty Work (RR)
  • Joe’s Apartment (JO)
  • S1m0ne (RR)
  • Rollerball (RR)
  • Mission To Mars (JO)
  • The Punisher (RR)

BWE wishes the happy couple nothing but the best… and we also wish they never make another movie together after "The Alibi." Please guys? Make that your wedding present to us.

H&M cancels Kate Moss ad campaign



Fashion giant Hennes and Mauritz has canceled an advertising
campaign using British supermodel Kate Moss following allegations she
took illegal drugs, the Swedish-based company said on Tuesday.

The company had previously said it would still use Moss in the campaign
after meeting her to discuss the publication of photos in the Daily
Mirror which the British tabloid said showed her snorting cocaine.

Moss has previously denied taking hard drugs. On Tuesday  her spokeswoman was not immediately available for comment.

I wish to apologize on behalf of Kate. She’s so used to designer products that she didn’t think of  H&M’s feelings. Next time she tries hard drugs she’ll go with a cheaper alternative, one to appeal to the masses instead of the fashionably elite crowd. When one is used to rolling up hundreds to snort one’s habit it’s hard to switch right over to dollar bills. It takes time to adjust. Crack should be more H&M’s speed. Right?[Reuters Article]

Tuesday Morning Quick Hits



Tom Sizemore is trying to get networks to pick up a reality show starring
Tom Sizemore. Networks won’t touch it, probably concerned about the
speaking part for "Little Tommy".

Star Jones donates her Emmy gown to help Katrina victims.  Will be used as tarp for the Superdome.

Oprah ends war with Hermes, still locked in a stalemate with Zoidburg on the Western front.

Lil’ Kim checks into prison for perjury, prepares to truly find out if ‘she get licked once, she can get licked twice.’

Jerry Springer

  musical back on track in London. They were waiting for the pole-dancing conjoined gay twins to join the cast.

God already allows one awards show to promote the "homosexual agenda",
but clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond
the Tonys.

Halle Berry swears off men…but not making bad movies.

Survivor winner Richard Hatch pleads not guilty to tax evasion.   Trying to outwit, outlast, outplay IRS….

*1 joke pulled double posted on fark. we are geeks.

The Hooters Employee Handbook



"Only approved Orange Hooters Girl Shorts are to be worn, sized to fit,
[ Continue reading @ the smoking gun]

Things I’ve learned from reading this handbook include the following:

1) Smiling is super important (because Hooters patrons really care about your inner beauty).
2) Socks also are super important (because nobody likes a stinker).
3) Tongue rings are bad (because they aren’t selling sex, they are selling b00bies…?)
4) bras are good (I think it should be on an individual basis…but I’ll let this one slide).
5)men work at hookers(?)

I didn’t know that last one. See, you learn something new every day. Now if I can just find myself boobies, I can hand in my application and get my smiling on.