Whatâ€™s scarier, the new summer blockbuster War of the Worlds, or seeing Tom Cruise freak out about Scientology on the Today Show ("Matt! Matt! You donâ€™t understand!")? The answer: theyâ€™re both pretty flippinâ€™ scary.
But how much do you really know about the Steven Spielberg/Tom Cruise vehicle? Thatâ€™s where we, at the National Lampoon, come in. Hell, weâ€™re a plethora of useless knowledge and facts. Weâ€™re also extreme, compulsive liars. Regardless, we thought that youâ€”oh dear readerâ€”should learn a little bit more about the new summer blockbuster, War of the Worlds!
I….uh…I did not know that.[link]
Bonus quick linkage:
The Ridiculously Thorough Guide to Making Your Own Pizza
Girlfriend Fight Simulator
Road House DVD review: "Grab your mullet it’s Road House Time" (maybe the greatest Road House Review ever…well it would be if there were a bunch of reviews of this dvd.)
Think you rocked at the game Monopoly as a child? Play Monopoly Live in London.
Anyone else miss the video footage of a the Akron deer office space run? See the video here.
Lil’ Kim is wearing clothing that covers her breasticles![story]
That’s okay, in the mean time I’ll just stare at Beyonce.
Angelina Jolie adopts an Ethiopian orphan. Oh really? Well, if you call within the next 30 minutes to adopt me, Ms. Jolie. We’ll even throw in a FREE Sport Illustrated Football Phone! Operators are standing by…(the time is now)
London gets the 2012 Olympics. France surrenders.
Colonel Mustard, in the senior citizen’s center, with a candlestick.
Britney wants to rush a new album to stores cause
Cletus Federline has spent all her money.
Prince Albert admits he had a child with a stewardess, also admits it would have been better to put it in her can…
Martha Stewart claims her prison nickname was ‘M. Diddy’ after constructing a lace-lined escape tunnel using a single punch ladle.
Check out this amazing ad for the iPod Flea. [link]
You know what the sick thing is– I bet you people would actually buy it.
Finally, a site that reveals why Gwen named her album "Love. Angel. Music. Baby."
If you have the time, browse a little. It’s a really cool site, even if they do taunt you to "Take a chance you stupid ho."
Oh, and also, you can buy merchandise to dress like Gwen. Of course, once she outgrows this Harajuku phase you’ll still be stuck with a $42 tank top with a banana on it. But still, take a chance you stupid ho. [link here]
I LOVE MY FANS
Thanks guys for every thing you have done! I wouldn’t be what I am today with out your support! â™¥ Britney
Leave a message ya’ll…[link]
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tom Cruise has tossed off the shackles of Hollywood oppression and is
piloting his Scientology-fueled funny car straight towards you. The
tires are smoking and he’s screaming to the stands about Katie,
psychiatry, sex, space aliens, and Brooke Shields. We invite you to
grab some popcorn and watch for a few minutes before the crash…
It’s official people: Tom Cruise is Nuts. Check out the inevitable website that was 2 months in the making…
Hey, did you do anything stupid on the 4th of July? Drink too much? Blow your hand off? Set yourself on fire? No? Okay, well then, you’re much smarter than this guy is. Watch the video here now, and make your very own "do not try this at home" joke later.