O-Ryan’s Star

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Ryan_seacrest_star

Ryan Seacrest was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday. And judging by the picture, immediately after he received it Simon Cowell strangled him to death. (but honestly, can you blame him?)

Well, it’s nice to see that Hollywood doesn’t let just anybody get a star. I thought they had lowered the bar when they awarded stars to Godzilla and Chewbacca, so it’s nice to see that it’s been raised to that esteemed "Seacrest-Level" of celebrity. Who’s next, Brian Dunkleman?

I just hope this doesn’t become a trend awarding stars to reality TV show hosts. I’d hate to walk through Hollywood and see a star for Seacrest followed by one for Roger Lodge and then one for "The Guy Who Hosts ‘Cheaters.’" Let’s stop before it’s too late. I’m proposing Seacrest, Out.

Pie in the Face

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American_pie

In 1999 American Pie hit the screen and everybody immediately went crazy over the young, hot cast of Hollywood newcomers. The movie launched a dozen careers (if you include the guy from Harold & Kumar and the girl that went on to star in a soap opera), but it also seems like it has taken a toll on several of the actors. Just check out this list. I’m calling it "The Curse of Pie" (because I’m not good at coming up with names for lists. But here it goes anyway.)

Chris Klein - Was engaged to Katie Holmes, but that fell apart. Currently facing charges for drunk driving. But honestly, wouldn’t you be drinking too once you came to the realization that you’ll never get to sleep with Katie Holmes ever again?

Shannon Elizabeth - Recently got divorced from husband Jason Reitman. And, more importantly, has NOT removed a single article of clothing on film in 6 years. What’s that all about???

Natasha Lyonne - First of all, I don’t think anybody ever really considered her a real cast member because she was barely in the first movie, right? Well, that must’ve eaten her up inside– the girl has SNAPPED. Right now there’s a warrant out for her arrest for skipping out on a court date. Oh, and why was she supposed to be in court? Because she threatened to molest her neighbor’s dog. I’m not even going ask… I’m not even going to ask…

Sean William Scott & Alyson Hannigan- They both stuck around for American Wedding. If they’re not careful they’re going to end up like Mr. Belding and Screech in "Saved by the Bell: The New Class." I’m just saying it’s time to move on, that’s all.

The Guy who played Finch & The Kid from Rookie of the Year - I heard they dropped out of acting and now they’re running a 7-11 together in Columbus, Ohio. Okay, I didn’t actually hear that, I’m just assuming. But you have to admit, it doesn’t sound that far fetched.

Mena Suvari - She’s gone from the Academy Award winning American Beauty to Beauty Shop. Somebody should tell her that just because a movie has the word "beauty" in it, that doesn’t mean it’s definitely going to be good.

Jason BiggsSaving Silverman. Boys and Girls. Loser. Prozac Nation. Anything Else. Jersey Girl. Just tell me when to stop…

Tara Reid - If you actually need me to list the reasons, clearly you have stumbled upon this site by accident. But just for fun, I’ll leave you with this:

Tara_reid_slip

I think that sort of sums everything up in a nipple. I mean a nutshell. Okay, I’m just going to stop writing now– you get the idea.

noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

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Why? Why?? Why???

Fred_durst_2

Limp Bizkit lead singer Fred Durst is developing a television program that will mix reality TV with a talk show, according to Variety. Durst and a team of producers are working on the program, which is tentatively titled My Life With Fred Durst. The weekly, one-hour show will combine celebrity interviews with reality-style glimpses into Durst’s career and personal life.

Horrible. This show directly conflicts with My Life WIthout Fred Durst, which is something I’ve been trying so hard to accomplish.

Well, maybe it will feature old video footage of a young Fred freestlyin’. I hope so, because that would be another reason for me NOT to tune in. 

I guess it could be worse. They could… actually, wait. An hour of Fred Durst a week? No, nevermind, it couldn’t be worse. I may never watch TV again. Thanks Fred, for ruining yet another source of entertainment. Please, please, please stay away from making movies. They’re all I have left.

The Spawn of Spears

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Federlines

(courtesy of Stereogum)

What a week. Britney’s pregnant, Mariah got "Emancipated," Cookie Monster cut down on carbs, and STACKED premiered! I don’t want to sound cliche’d here, but this may have been the Best Week…

I’m not going to say it. But you have to watch tonight @ 11. Seriously. You may just regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t. Trust me.

stacked

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Pam

Did anybody else see Stacked last night? Wow! Talk about an AMAZING show. Every time the "studio audience" laughed at one of the horrible jokes a little piece of me died. I just kept thinking, "So this is what’s going to replace Arrested Development. Well, this and Life on a Stick." *sigh*

I’d like to review the show for those of you who missed it, but honestly I wasn’t even able to pay attention. Don’t get me wrong, when Pam was on the screen I was into it, but the second she was gone I could’ve been watching static for all I know. Or Life on a Stick. Same difference.

You know how you can tell that Stacked isn’t a good show? The guy with the sunglasses from That Thing You Do left the cast after shooting the pilot. Tom Everett Scott was actually like, "You know what, I don’t want to be associated with this. I mean, I starred in Dead Man on Campus with Zack Morris, my fans expect more from me." That’s never a good sign.

Maybe Pam should leave the cast of Stacked and follow the advice of her sons. They want mommy to move into a house with all of her ex-boyfriends so they can live together happily ever after. Who wouldn’t watch that??? Pam, Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels, Kid Rock, Stephen Dorff!!!

Pay attention VH1, I think we have your brand new Surreal Life right there.

The Top 10 Best Things About Britney & Kevin Having a Baby

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Britney_and_kevin_2

  1. Frito-Lay stock is going to shoot up. Britney is eating Cheetos for 2!
  2. Now all Kevin needs is an Asian kid, a Hispanic kid, and a Middle Eastern kid to complete the cycle! Keep up the good work dude!
  3. Being pregnant will finally motivate Britney to stop smoking… in public.
  4. Now Kevin can start saying "We’re pregnant," to make it sound like he’s actually doing something for once.
  5. At last, Britney won’t be the only one at her five-year high school reunion in Louisiana without a kid.
  6. Kevin can finally rub Britney’s stomach and use his "Girl, You got Served" joke that used to crack Shar Jackson up all the time.
  7. Being a mother, Britney will have a whole new subject to lip-sync about.
  8. Kevin will finally have someone to hang out with while laying around and doing nothing.
  9. At least the Spears/Federline kid will know one thing– how to dance. And… that’s probably it.
  10. Britney and Kevin will get to name the baby all by themselves. And we’re talking about a girl who named her dogs Bit Bit and Lacy Loo, so the possibilities are endless!

The Feder-Seed Strikes Again!

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Britney_and_kevin

From: www.britneyspears.com

Dear Fans,

The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together.  There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Britney & Kevin

Congratulations you two. We here at BWE wish you the best… and that you name him or her something absolutely ridiculous. Make us proud. We love you.

come as you are

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Kurt_cobain

Kurt Cobain’s home town of Aberdeen, Washington has added the words "Come As You Are" to its welcome sign as a tribute to Kurt. I think they decided to use that song title because the town technically does not "Smell Like Teen Spirit."

ZING!

Thank you. You know, that’s not all. They also put up a new sign for when you leave Aberdeen. It says "All Apologies."

ZING!

But seriously folks. I’ll stop now. I wouldn’t want this to get… "Dumb."

ZIN. … okay, I’ll stop.

The First iPod

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Bush For some reason, President Bush’s iPod has been all over the news today. People are talking about some of the songs and artists our president is currently listening to while he runs our country… and mountain bikes.

The New York Times reported that his $300 iPod contains songs like "Centerfield" by John Fogerty, "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison, and "My Sharona" by The Knack. What the New York Times DOESN’T report is that Bush is BIG into rap music. It’s true. Would I lie?

Luckily, BWE was able to get their hands on the First iPod to show the world that our president truly is an O.G. (that’s ‘original gangsta’ obviously) Check it out:

  • "Rump Shaker" – Wreckx-N-Effect
  • "Shake That Rump, Make You Jump" – Thee Suspect
  • "Bump That Rump" – Freak Nasty
  • "Shake Da’ Rump" – Diamonique
  • "Move Your Rump" – DJ Taz
  • "Hump Ya Rump" – Bass From Da Bottom
  • "Booty Juice " – NWH

I think there’s some sort of trend here but I just can’t seem to put my finger on it. One thing is for sure, though. We have one Bad Azz Prez. Yo.