As you know, Sean Penn is working as a reporter in Iran these days….
"What the f*** are you saying? That’s not English!!! I swear to God if you don’t start speaking in a language I understand I’ll smash your f***ing head in! I’m Spicoloi dammit!!!"
More unintentional Sean Penn hilarity can be found here.
Tom Cruise proposes to Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower, the only structure in the world bigger than his ego. Naturally she said yes. Her programming is complete.
Engagement ring photos:
The world is over as we know it is over. Last week’s TV ratings prove that Americans love ballroom dancing and Charlie Sheen.
Brad Pitt denies cheating on his ex-wife with Angelina Jolie. Meanwhile Billy Bob Thorton compares sex with Angelina Jolie like sex with a couch. In other news, the world is flat.
Queen Elizabeth got herself an iPod, and I got her pegged for a closet Tool fan. Anyone? Bets? Boy George? …Prince? Queens of the Stone age? I could go on…but I wont. Maybe some Queen? Okay, I’m done.
Michael Jackson is considering leaving the US for good. He has developed a taste for "Thai"…
Britney Spears thinks she is a prophet. Which is cute because she used to think she was a singer.
Batmobile hit by drunk driver. Christian Bale forgot to activate Bat Thrusters.
The top 10 celebs, income this year, according to Forbes:
1. Oprah Winfrey, $225 million
2. Tiger Woods, $87 million
3. Mel Gibson, $185 million
4. George Lucas, $290 million
5. Shaquille O’Neal, $33 million
6. Steven Spielberg, $80 million
7. Johnny Depp, $37 million
8. Madonna, $50 million
9. Elton John, $44 million
10. Tom Cruise $31 million
Read more about it here. Personally I’m confused with how the Desperate Housewives are grouped in one category under #25. Is that ….is that even possible? See full list here.
It’s the aftermath of the Bill Cosby rape trial, and Cosby’s been left penniless and homeless. The gravy train has ended, and in Bill Cosby’s drunken rage the only escape out of town is to murder and steal! Help Bill Cosby lure victims and bring them back to his Cosby Cave. If Bill Cosby can avoid the cops, save up enough money, he might just get to make the most important phone call of his life.
This has to be one of the most bizarre games I’ve ever played on the internet… and that’s saying a lot. [click here to play]
Madonna still thinks that if you marry a British guy you’re allowed to fake a British accent. She’s been doing it since she married Guy Richie but it’s somehow still amusing…no?[watch video]
Link thanks to:
Liquid Generation Blog
For the record, I would totally save distorted dogs. Pretty clever ad if you ask me.[watch now]
I’m a big fan of the Caucasian Clap . [Watch now]
You know what these hopeless white people need? Will Smith! He makes everything better! (sorry, rented "Hitch" last night. Forgive me.)
Queen Latifah is starting her own lingerie line. She’ll serve as the face of "Curvation," while Taxi co-star Jimmy Fallon will serve as the body.
According to this shocking poll, most people think that celebrities make poor role models for children. Russell Crowe and Christian Slater disagree, and swear that they’ll beat & grope the living s*** out of anybody who thinks otherwise.
Joss Stone is fleeing the country. I would totally make a Joss Stone joke here, but I know that if I did some VH1 cronies would rush into my office and break all of my fingers. I’ve seen it happen before.
Could Harrison Ford‘s girlfriend Calista Flockhart be starring in the new Indiana Jones flick? The answer is Yes, but only if they need more skeletons.
And finally, after Hugh Hefner dies (which I’m hoping will be never) he wants the Playboy Mansion to be turned into a tourist attraction. LIke Neverland, only you have to be 21 to enter and the molesting is completely consensual. Usually.
Not all of us can be as smooth as the original numanuma guy. Watch an imposter fall down and go boom.
06-11-05 Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Wild-child actress Lindsay Lohan jets off to Mexico with ‘Girls Gone Wild’ creator Joe Francis and his posse. The group traveled in Joe’s private jet and spent the weekend at his private beach house in secluded Punta Mita. The group were treated to poolside massages and pedi/manicures, a speedboat and jet skis were at their disposal and food and drinks.
Oh no’s! First she was hanging out with Tara Reid, then Nicole Richie, and now it’s the creator of ‘Girls Gone Wild!?!?!’ Pretty soon Lindsay will be on vacation in Aruba with Rick Solomon, I can guarantee it.
Pictures thanks to: