morning quick hits – Tomkat engaged, Jolie bad in bed?



Tom Cruise proposes to Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower, the only structure in the world bigger than his ego. Naturally she said yes. Her programming is complete.

Engagement ring photos:



The world is over as we know it is over. Last week’s TV ratings prove that Americans love ballroom dancing and Charlie Sheen.

Brad Pitt denies cheating on his ex-wife with Angelina Jolie. Meanwhile Billy Bob Thorton compares sex with Angelina Jolie like sex with a couch. In other news, the world is flat.

Queen Elizabeth got herself an iPod, and I got her pegged for a closet Tool fan. Anyone? Bets? Boy George? …Prince? Queens of the Stone age? I could go on…but I wont. Maybe some Queen? Okay, I’m done.

Michael Jackson is considering leaving the US for good. He has developed a taste for "Thai"…

Britney Spears thinks she is a prophet. Which is cute because she used to think she was a singer.

Batmobile hit by drunk driver. Christian Bale forgot to activate Bat Thrusters.

Forbes Celebrity 100 List: Oprah could buy Canada



The top 10 celebs, income this year, according to Forbes:

1. Oprah Winfrey, $225 million
2. Tiger Woods, $87 million
3. Mel Gibson, $185 million
4. George Lucas, $290 million
5. Shaquille O’Neal, $33 million
6. Steven Spielberg, $80 million
7. Johnny Depp, $37 million
8. Madonna, $50 million
9. Elton John, $44 million
10. Tom Cruise $31 million

Read more about it here. Personally I’m confused with how the Desperate Housewives are grouped in one category under #25. Is that ….is that even possible? See full list here.

The Bill Cosby Fun Game



It’s the aftermath of the Bill Cosby rape trial, and Cosby’s been left penniless and homeless. The gravy train has ended, and in Bill Cosby’s drunken rage the only escape out of town is to murder and steal! Help Bill Cosby lure victims and bring them back to his Cosby Cave. If Bill Cosby can avoid the cops, save up enough money, he might just get to make the most important phone call of his life.

This has to be one of the most bizarre games I’ve ever played on the internet… and that’s saying a lot. [click here to play]

Afternoon Linkage: From The Queen to the Playboy King



Queen Latifah is starting her own lingerie line. She’ll serve as the face of "Curvation," while Taxi co-star Jimmy Fallon will serve as the body.

According to this shocking poll, most people think that celebrities make poor role models for children. Russell Crowe and Christian Slater disagree, and swear that they’ll beat & grope the living s*** out of anybody who thinks otherwise.

Joss Stone is fleeing the country. I would totally make a Joss Stone joke here, but I know that if I did some VH1 cronies would rush into my office and break all of my fingers. I’ve seen it happen before.

Could Harrison Ford‘s girlfriend Calista Flockhart be starring in the new Indiana Jones flick? The answer is Yes, but only if they need more skeletons.

And finally, after Hugh Hefner dies (which I’m hoping will be never) he wants the Playboy Mansion to be turned into a tourist attraction. LIke Neverland, only you have to be 21 to enter and the molesting is completely consensual. Usually.

Lohan gone wild?



06-11-05 Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Wild-child actress Lindsay Lohan jets off to Mexico with ‘Girls Gone Wild’ creator Joe Francis and his posse. The group traveled in Joe’s private jet and spent the weekend at his private beach house in secluded Punta Mita. The group were treated to poolside massages and pedi/manicures, a speedboat and jet skis were at their disposal and food and drinks.

Oh no’s! First she was hanging out with Tara Reid, then Nicole Richie, and now it’s the creator of ‘Girls Gone Wild!?!?!’ Pretty soon Lindsay will be on vacation in Aruba with Rick Solomon, I can guarantee it.

Lohan_wild_2 Lohan_wild_3 Lohan_wild_4 Lohan_wild_5

Pictures thanks to: