Best.Camping.Trip.Ever.

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Camping6

Peter: Good thing I bought that cloud insurance

(Two clouds in sky)

Cloud 1: So Bill, we attack tomorrow

Cloud 2: Yes, tomorrow…

Cloud 2: I mean it this time

Cloud 2: I do too

The Clouds attacked.[link]

What Could Have Made Sideways Better

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Sideways

 

 Shut up. Shut up. Shut the hellup. If I hear just one more person talk about how great the movie Sideways is, I’m going to snap. Scratch that. I’ve already snapped, I’ve purchased a gun, and my finger is just aching to pull the trigger on the next person who gives praise to that complete waste of two hours that they have the balls to call 
a film.

Haven’t you always wondered what could have made the film Sideways better? I didn’t. But the National Lampoon guys did…and now that I’ve read this, I agree with them completely.[link]

Free Icccccccccccceeeeeeeeeecreammm!

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It’s Free Icecream day at Starbucks…

Nzsex

It’s an icecream social. On June 29th a Starbucks near you will be sharing….

Starbucks, enough is enough already. We like you. Stop putting out albums, stop letting us surf the internet for free,  stop giving out free icecream, just stop being so gosh-darn-nice all the time. You are like that friend who lets people walk all over them and eventually we are going to get bored and we are going to take all your crap and go hang out with Dunkin Donuts because he’s a little more dangerous.

…and we like our coffee served with a little bit of danger. [Free icecream today]

Morning Quick Hits: Confusing Sex, Tigers and Big Ol’ Butts

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Eyeswideshut

Tom Cruise confessed he doesn’t like sex outside a relationship because he finds it "confusing". He has a hard time figuring out who’s supposed to be the woman.

Starbucks is selling bootleg Bob Dylan coffee house recordings… coincidentally, recorded in other coffee houses.

USDA fails to find the cause of the tiger attack on Roy Horn. Oh HEY, USDA! You want to know why the tiger attacked Horn? It’s…because he’s a f***king TIGER.

Christopher Walken says that a good marriage is based on timekeeping. Of course, anybody would pay more attention to their watch if that uncomfortable piece of metal was up their ass for two years.

Fox News thinks a "new watergate" would be unlikely due to today’s journalistic ethics regarding unnamed sources. In other news, apparently Fox News has journalistic ethics. Who knew?

Jennifer Aniston may quit Hollywood to pursue other interests such as fashion, hair styling and particle physics.

Mexico to let citizens cast votes by mail.  What could possibly go wrong?

Lance Armstrong is all set to launch his own clothing line. The French have already demanded drug tests for all seamstresses involved.

J-Lo campaign not working well in Africa, as young girls are trying to lose their posteriors.  And Sir Mix-a-Lot weeps.. a-lot.

Paul Scheer Hearts Cameron Crowe

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I have a confession….I love Cameron Crowe Movies.

Elizabethtown704246

I’m a Total Sucker for Them. Yes, even Vanilla Sky (Seriously it’s good-it’s like an intelligent Sci-Fi Film-Watch it Again!)

Here’s a Short List of Some of the Good and Bad Ways Cameron Crowe has Affected Me

1.) He’s made me appreciate and sing along with Elton John more than I probably ever wanted to.

2.) The way I see it he owes me roughly $750 for my brief (albeit expensive) fascination with Kickboxing and my purchase of a ridiculous large Boom Box. [keep reading here]

Wow, Paul must be sincere if he even likes Vanilla Sky. Did anybody like Vanilla Sky???