Rosie Poetry Time: oprah hermes

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    Rosie_drugs

oprah was turned away
at hermes in paris

gayle said it was really really bad
she used really twice
she saw it – she was there

“Oprah describes it as
one of the most humiliating moments of
her life.”
her being oprah -
and who would know better than gayle
i cannot wait to hear
all the details -
one of the most humiliating moments of her life…
oprah
a poor overweight
sexually abused troubled
black child
from a broken home
that oprah
sufferred ONE of the most HUMILIATING momemts of HER life
at hermes in paris

hmmmmm

after watching tom on o
and then everywhere else
in the free world
i think i may need to up my meds

shout out to brooke
stand tall girl
u saved a lot of women
by telling ur truth

my tommy needs to breathe
“heart humor and humility
will lighten up your heavy load”
said joni mitchell

I don’t know what’s more amusing, Rosie’s latest poem about Oprah and her "Tommy" or that Rosie still has gushing fans who post on her blog two seconds after she publishes her posts.[link]

Link thanks to:
K

Herbie: Fully Loaded

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Herbie_loaded

Check out BWE tonight. We have Lindsay’s favorite co-star from Herbie: Fully Loaded (not the car, Justin Long). You don’t want to miss it!

Best Week Ever: Tonight at 11 and all weekend long. 

Squirt Gun Repellant. Scientology approved and tested.

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Squirt_gun


TOM CRUISE SQUIRT GUN REPELLANT SCIENTOLOGY TESTED

SCIENTOLOGY TESTED AND APPROVED ( NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS FOR ALL YOU PETA NUTS OUT THERE). GUARANTEED TO WARD OFF WATER PISTOLS FROM THOSE PESKY REPORTERS JUST RUB A DASH OF THIS ON YOUR FACE BEFORE THOSE BIG PREMIERES AND EVERYTHING WILL BE SWELL. TOM REALLY COULD HAVE USED THIS A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN HE WAS ASSAULTED BY A FAKE REPORTER WHO HAD A FAKE MICROPHONE THAT TURNED OUT TO BE A SQUIRT GUN

Get your Ebay on.[link]

Link thanks to:
Liquid Generation

Follow-Up: Martha Stewart’s Catch Phrase Will Be…

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Marthastewart 

I was forwarded this email today and normally I wouldn’t care about Martha Stewart all that much but thanks to the hint of cinnamon in my coffee this morning (thanks M.S. Living!) I was feeling peppy and that’s a good thing.

See the Superficial post for more details.

Update: THE INTERWEB LIED TO US! Thanks to readers the phrase "off the list" is said to be from Kathy Hilton show, I Want To Be A Hilton and not of the former inmate and master-baker Martha Stewart upcoming show.

Boo-frikkin-urns.

Tom Cruise Takes On Matt Lauer’s Thetans

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Tommy_and_matt

"With Katie Holmes supportively sitting nearby, today’s Today
show forced poor Matt Lauer to sit down for a taped interview with Tom
Cruise, more of which will air on Monday. But we can’t imagine Monday
will get much better than today’s segment; as Lauer put it, things “got
a little tense” when Tom was asked about his anti-psychiatric views:…."

First of all I can’t believe I missed this. Secondly, I want to thank Gawker for giving the play by play fully equiped with a screenshot. It’s the perfect way to start your Friday morning with a little TomKat crazy in your cup.[link]

Update: Find the full transcript and video of the interview here!

Tip thanks to:
Stereogum

Pitching ain’t easy

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Scared_pitcher

Sure we could laugh at the little guy for running, but be honest, if that guy came running your way you’d duck for cover too…he’s HUGE.[watch]

Friday Morning Quick Hits: Madonna and Sean Penn, together again.

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Madonna

Madonna has given her eight-year-old daughter Lourdes her own
credit card with a $10,000 limit to teach her the value of money
. Wait…is $10,000 supposed to be restrictive? I’m confused because if $10,000 is a border-line punishment then I want to be bad. Very bad. Down right naughty.

Rogert Ebert gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. Says the scenery moved him, but didn’t have much of a plot.

Maria Julia Mantilla, the new "Miss World" swears to the press that she is not a "creation" of a plastic surgeon. She insists that "he just did my bust and my nose" which in CRAZY TOWN doesn’t count as having had any work done at all.

Kitt voted most popular ‘pimped-up’ ride in the UK. David Hasselhoff: "It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Kitt speechless".

Katie Holmes
‘ Uncle Fritz gives the press his opinion of Tom Cruise without fear of Xenu: "Tom Seems like a real jerk. I give it 60 days." Not only must this story be totally (like t-o-t-a-l-l-y) true because it all started at the National Enquirier but it’s straight from the mouth of a friend who totally goes to like the same church as like "Uncle Fritz"  does… and my best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from
this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Tommy
pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

MTV and VH1 are to broadcast Live 8, everyone here is crossing their fingers that actual music on the channels won’t offend viewers.

New club only grants membership if you’re hot and rich. Cream of mushroom soup finally has a sense of belonging.

Michael Jackson is considering a move to Switzerland where, like his race and gender, it’s neutral.

Japanese fast food chain begins offering "Whale Burgers." Gepetto finally gets his sweet revenge.

Sean Penn to play The Joker in next Batman film?  That grade A sense of humor must have landed him the roll.