Wednesday Quick Hits

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Angelina Jolie adopts an Ethiopian orphan. Oh really? Well, if you call within the next 30 minutes to adopt me, Ms. Jolie. We’ll even throw in a FREE Sport Illustrated Football Phone!  Operators are standing by…(the time is now)

London
gets the 2012 Olympics.  France surrenders.

Colonel Mustard, in the senior citizen’s center, with a candlestick.

Britney
wants to rush a new album to stores cause Cletus Federline has spent all her money.

Prince Albert
admits he had a child with a stewardess, also admits it would have been better to put it in her can…

Martha Stewart claims her prison nickname was ‘M. Diddy’ after constructing a lace-lined escape tunnel using a single punch ladle.

What You Waiting For?

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Ang01tee 
Finally, a site that reveals why Gwen named her album "Love. Angel. Music. Baby."

If you have the time, browse a little. It’s a really cool site, even if they do taunt you to "Take a chance you stupid ho."

Oh, and also, you can buy merchandise to dress like Gwen. Of course, once she outgrows this Harajuku phase you’ll still be stuck with a $42 tank top with a banana on it. But still, take a chance you stupid ho. [link here]

Britney Invades My Space

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I LOVE MY FANS

Thanks guys for every thing you have done!  I wouldn’t be what I am today with out your support!  ♥ Britney

Leave a message ya’ll…[link]

Tom Cruise… need we say more

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Ladies and gentlemen,
Tom Cruise has tossed off the shackles of Hollywood oppression and is
piloting his Scientology-fueled funny car straight towards you. The
tires are smoking and he’s screaming to the stands about Katie,
psychiatry, sex, space aliens, and Brooke Shields. We invite you to
grab some popcorn and watch for a few minutes before the crash…

It’s official people: Tom Cruise is Nuts. Check out the inevitable website that was 2 months in the making…

Not Exactly a Firecracker

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Hey, did you do anything stupid on the 4th of July? Drink too much? Blow your hand off? Set yourself on fire? No? Okay, well then, you’re much smarter than this guy is. Watch the video here now, and make your very own "do not try this at home" joke later.