Friday Morning Quick Hits: Is this week over yet?



‘Desperate Housewives’ claims a solid gay following — Fox immediately signs Bette Midler, Liza Minelli, and Cher to star in "My Big, Gay, Reality TV Show." 

CBS still adrift without an anchor.

Kyra Sedgwick declines Playboy offer to show parts that are often zero degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.

Minor League baseball fans bring baby items to Jennifer Garner’s baby shower at stadium to benefit low-income parents. Somehow this makes sense in West Virginia.

2 ATV Riders Crash on the way to the funeral of another ATV Rider. Darwin loves it.

Florida woman and God share a phone number in Bruce Almighty. Two years later, people still call her asking for God. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

wins libel suit against Vanity Fair. It’s one thing to call
him a pedophile but don’t you dare say he’s "callously indifferent!"

John Roberts: NOT related to Julia Roberts


Taking a break from real news (i.e. Jude & Sienna, Pam & Tommy, etc.), we here at BWE decided to check out to find out what’s going on in our country. APPARENTLY our President (not Bill Clinton, I guess there’s a new guy now…when the hell did that happen?) just nominated a guy named John Roberts to the Supreme Court.

Eric_roberts_2Now, at first we were excited. Wow! John Roberts! That’s great! We loved him in Best of the Best, and his performance in the Killers video for "Mr. Brightside" is phenomenal. But no, it turns out that that’s ERIC Roberts. John Roberts is some conservative dude who went to Harvard, not the Pope of Grenwich Village. Interesting choice. I think I would have went with Eric.

Over at Tequila Red they have a list of who they think should have been nominated. Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and the Verizon guy, amongst others. All great choices, if you ask me. Check it out here.

If you got to nominate somebody to the Supreme Court, who would you go with? I think I’d pick Gwen Stefani, because we know she ain’t no hollaback girl. And in my humble opinion, the last thing we need in the Supreme Court is another hollaback girl. I mean, enough is enough.

Thursday Afternoon Quick Hits




Johnny Depp surprised that his latest character, a pasty, androgynous weirdo with a penchant for little kids, reminds people of Michael Jackson. The Oompa Loompa named Bubbles didn’t help, either.

Jessica Alba tells the press of her steamy french kiss… with a monkey. What happened to that whole not kissing and telling thing? Monkeys count damnit.

Canada legalizes gay marriage nationwide. Husbands stop loving wives, society crumbles…

Japaneshe reshearchers unlock myshteries of drunkenenness/.

Volvo asks Swedish government if they could drive drunk. Not to be outdone, BMW asks German government if it’s cars could offer Weizenbock on tap.

And now for the "Worstest Album Covers Ever III". Umm, it just got worstier?

Late breaking proof of R. Kelly’s innocence!

Britney must be confused



This has to be photo-shopped. Some magician has surely changed the contents of this picture. Is that…umm…is that an apple? A bottle of water even? Good GOD! What about the baby? The baby needs Starbucks coffee and Cheetos, stat! [link]

Best Of Thursday Linkage


Flickr Postcard Browser – Enter a search term and then discover the postcard results. I spent way too long searching random things on here. I should have been sleeping and/or working?[link]


Just another splendid moment in Family Guy where the Griffin family attempts to survive without Lois.[link]


Remember way back when in an Internet land long ago, when the Icy Hot Stuntaz hilarity began? Well
  B-Shoc, from Icy Hot Stuntaz fame, has released a hip-hop album. Begin crying for our generation in, 5…4…3…2…[link]


Public Hygene has never been so amusing. However I probably could do without the painful soundtrack. [link]


The Fingertips project created by the folks of Albino Black Sheep give you a flash video mix-up of that identifies the cliches of the interweb and so much more. Check it out.[link]

Moorhuhn goes to the army
should probably not have amused me so much but I can’t stop laughing. It could because I lack coffee or it could be because I’m a sucker for home made puppet films.[link]

Staring contests need to make a comeback. Lets make this happen people.[link]

Thursday Quick Hits: Pam, Tommy, Carrie, and Chiklis



Jessica Alba has slammed Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes for using their romance to promote their movies. She then went on to declare that her love for Michael Chiklis is real.

Hilary Duff wants to keep her romance with Good Charlotte’s Joel Madden out of the public eye. She also wants to keep her romance with Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden out of Joel Madden’s eye.

The new Harry Potter book is a hit. Really? I mean, wow. I’m floored. Do we really need somebody to report this?

Grand Theft Auto gets bumped to an "Adults Only" rating and has its hidden sex scene removed from the game.  Meanwhile, all the robbing, beating, and prostitution in Oregon Trail remains untouched.

So now Pam & Tommy aren’t getting married. Sex tape sequel delayed indefinitely.

Carrie Underwood signs on to sing jingles for Hershey. Ruben Studdard whines, "Why does Carrie get all the good deals???" Then adds, "Mmmm, candy."

Jude Law’s ex feels bad for Sienna Miller. Um, why? We all saw what having a cheating British boyfriend does your career. Sienna’s the luckiest girl since Elizabeth Hurley. Enjoy the career, sweetheart!

Mash Me Up



What can I say, people dig mashups… even AFTER all that Jay-Z/Linkin Park crap.

This site has a bunch of interesting ones. I recommend the Gorillaz vs. Cake (as seen above) and the Hot Hot Heat vs. Bowie.

Now can somebody explain to me why it’s gotta be "vs." Why can’t these people just get along?

See Tom



Ultimately, finding a woman who intrigues and captivates me has simply
risen to the very top of my list, calling for me to take extraordinary
measures to find her. I know a lot of people who’ve settled in the
interest of having kids and security. But, that’s not for me. I want
something that will be special every day of our lives

Tom has searched around the globe for the woman of his dreams and he has now taken the next logical step. He’s using the interweb to bring the women to him. You might not be the one for Tom but in the mean time, I suppose you can just know him, bop him, dress him, or if you feel like it…date him.

Good luck Tom. May you one day get bopped good and hard…[link]

Be sure to catch Tom on The View tomorrow morning.

Wednesday Afternoon Quick Hits: Mike Tyson scares the crap out of me.


examines the possibility of a real world Peter Griffin.

Director David Lynch hopes to raise one billion dollars in one year for his new meditation and peace foundation; claims chanting will help students resolve school stress and shine like bright pennies.

Lindsay Lohan packs more clothes in her luggage than you can count. She probably didn’t leave any room for airplane snacks either.

Looks like the rumors of Pamela Anderson to marry… again… Continue. Yes it’s to the same person as before. I suppose she is hoping the third time is a charm, even if he isn’t.

My Dog is Tom Cruise. Okay well not my dog, but his dog is…

Mike Tyson builds $12,000 coup for his pigeons.  Now more than one thing on his property will be full of crap.

I’m sorry, What?  Pigeons?????? Dear mother of god.