Giving up Triathalon Career to be America’s Top Model


OK, last auction I had did not raise as much money as I needed to buy my kids the swing set they wanted, so I need to have another one. Up for auction is my prize possession that has made it all happen for me, my head and wrist bands!!! That’s right, I’m giving up my Triathlon carrier to raise money for my children’s swing set. Now remember all the other items you see in the pictures are NOT included-this auction is for my head and wrist bands only.

I dunno, I think this guy has some competition. Biker Fox is light years ahead of him with the photo-shoots but I think he has potential. Please note the "Spirit Fingers" picture at the bottom of the page…[Link]

Willem DaFoe Failure Watch!



Everyone thinks Willem DaFoe is a great actor. He plays quirky roles, he’s the Green Goblin in Spider-Man — women go nuts for this jerk! Well, no one can be great ALL the time, and that’s why I created this blog! Now everyone will know when "The Foe" trips up, steps out of line, or fails. Can you take the pressure Willy? Let the failure-watch commence!

I’m sorry, did I miss something? Women go crazy for Willem DaFoe?

I think this is the only way to tell when you’ve truly made it… when somebody creates a blog and dedicates it to your failures. Congratulations Willem… I think.[link]

morning quick hits – Tomkat engaged, Jolie bad in bed?



Tom Cruise proposes to Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower, the only structure in the world bigger than his ego. Naturally she said yes. Her programming is complete.

Engagement ring photos:



The world is over as we know it is over. Last week’s TV ratings prove that Americans love ballroom dancing and Charlie Sheen.

Brad Pitt denies cheating on his ex-wife with Angelina Jolie. Meanwhile Billy Bob Thorton compares sex with Angelina Jolie like sex with a couch. In other news, the world is flat.

Queen Elizabeth got herself an iPod, and I got her pegged for a closet Tool fan. Anyone? Bets? Boy George? …Prince? Queens of the Stone age? I could go on…but I wont. Maybe some Queen? Okay, I’m done.

Michael Jackson is considering leaving the US for good. He has developed a taste for "Thai"…

Britney Spears thinks she is a prophet. Which is cute because she used to think she was a singer.

Batmobile hit by drunk driver. Christian Bale forgot to activate Bat Thrusters.

Forbes Celebrity 100 List: Oprah could buy Canada



The top 10 celebs, income this year, according to Forbes:

1. Oprah Winfrey, $225 million
2. Tiger Woods, $87 million
3. Mel Gibson, $185 million
4. George Lucas, $290 million
5. Shaquille O’Neal, $33 million
6. Steven Spielberg, $80 million
7. Johnny Depp, $37 million
8. Madonna, $50 million
9. Elton John, $44 million
10. Tom Cruise $31 million

Read more about it here. Personally I’m confused with how the Desperate Housewives are grouped in one category under #25. Is that ….is that even possible? See full list here.

The Bill Cosby Fun Game



It’s the aftermath of the Bill Cosby rape trial, and Cosby’s been left penniless and homeless. The gravy train has ended, and in Bill Cosby’s drunken rage the only escape out of town is to murder and steal! Help Bill Cosby lure victims and bring them back to his Cosby Cave. If Bill Cosby can avoid the cops, save up enough money, he might just get to make the most important phone call of his life.

This has to be one of the most bizarre games I’ve ever played on the internet… and that’s saying a lot. [click here to play]

Afternoon Linkage: From The Queen to the Playboy King



Queen Latifah is starting her own lingerie line. She’ll serve as the face of "Curvation," while Taxi co-star Jimmy Fallon will serve as the body.

According to this shocking poll, most people think that celebrities make poor role models for children. Russell Crowe and Christian Slater disagree, and swear that they’ll beat & grope the living s*** out of anybody who thinks otherwise.

Joss Stone is fleeing the country. I would totally make a Joss Stone joke here, but I know that if I did some VH1 cronies would rush into my office and break all of my fingers. I’ve seen it happen before.

Could Harrison Ford‘s girlfriend Calista Flockhart be starring in the new Indiana Jones flick? The answer is Yes, but only if they need more skeletons.

And finally, after Hugh Hefner dies (which I’m hoping will be never) he wants the Playboy Mansion to be turned into a tourist attraction. LIke Neverland, only you have to be 21 to enter and the molesting is completely consensual. Usually.