Morning Quick Hits: Resistance is futile



Rapper 50 cent wants a piece of Lindsay Lohan. The thought of this sends shivers down my spine, but hey, " black men love" her.

We are the Scientologists. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Tom Cruise has hired a "minder" for Katie Holmes. Hm, I’m still curious as to why anyone would think Scientology is a cult.

Nothing says Republican fundraiser like family values and porn stars. Porn star Mary Carey answers questions Tuesday as she shows off her outfit for the evening’s event at a news conference in Washington. Insert timely "Deep Throat" joke here.


Blizzard Entertainment, creator of great video games such as World of Warcraft are giving away a rare, life-size mannequin of a Night Elf female. As if video game players are not already anti-social enough, why not give ‘em a blow up doll and make it seem totally normal. It should come with 2 years of therapy for free. But hey, at least Blizzard know their market right?

Hilary Duff has a hole in her head. Okay her ear, but it’s a big ol’ hole.

And the truth comes out? Jennifer Aniston wanted Brad Pitt’s babies after all, but he cheated on her with Angelina Jolie. Finally, some closure.

Afternoon Quick Hits Part 2: Elephants, Monkeys and ‘Dirty’ Torture



Nicole Richie wants elephant rides at her wedding. Yes, everything is to be over-sized so she looks comparably smaller than everyone and everything. Smart thinking, Ms. Richie.

Christina Aguilera‘s music was used as a means of torture to interrogate a leading al Qaeda suspect at Guantanamo Bay. He didn’t give out any info, but he declared that now he feels beautiful, no matter what they say, and words can’t bring him down.

Pierce Brosnan backs Clive Owen to be the next James Bond. I, for one would like to welcome our (potential) hottest Bond overlord.

Filmmaker Steven Spielberg, believes audiences have lost interest in the cute alien ET. Unless Tom Cruise starts dating it, of course.

Sleepovers are no more in Michael Jackson‘s bedroom. It’s now back to wham, bam, thank you… ma’am?

Afternoon Quick Hits: You should have just stayed in bed this morning



Unable to stick to what he’s good at, Sean Penn enjoys playing reporter in Iran.

The dark side of the moon hath frozen over, Pink Floyd to reunite in London for live 8.

Charlotte Church doesn’t want to be fit like Beyonce and Britney, so back off already. Gawd.

Jennifer Lopez is engaged and only after umm… one entire year of marriage too. Nicely played. No one saw that coming. It was her first time celebrating a one-year anniversary, but probably not her last.

Terri Hatcher refuses to wear a bikini and I refuse to see this as a problem.

and finally the wild and crazy Britney Spears and Kevin Federline sex tape has been leaked to the internet. Watch now.

Futurama’s every title-card as a Flickr set





From BoingBoing:
A dedicated Futurama fan has produced a Flickr set of framegrabs of
every show’s title-card, wherein a different witty saying (FROM THE

You’re watching Futurama, the show that doesn’t condone the cool crime of robbery.

Morning Quick Hits: The Marriage Edition



Paris Hilton plans to leave the limelight. Not to be confused with night-vision.

Katie Holmes jumps headfirst into Scientology.  One more convert and Tom Cruise gets to wear the official Xenu cape for a month. All hail, Xenu.

Alicia Silverstone marries at Lake Tahoe. It was a pretty normal ceremony, up until the point that she and Liv Tyler snuck out, won an amateur stripping contest, shoplifted, and hijaked a tractor from a well built farm boy. What a day!

Demi Moore and Rod Stewart get naked….No, they were not together.

Boxer Kevin McBride reveals that Mike Tyson attempted to bite his nipple during latest bout. Damn, that guy keeps getting kinkier and kinkier.

and Alanis Morissette  who was apparently really "angry" or something, has grown past that. Probably thanks to a few thousand jagged little pills.