Cindy Morgan, The Interview

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Oh Cindy Morgan. I remember you all too well from the great films of my childhood such as TRON, Caddyshack, uh…Tron and umm Caddyshack. This interview  brought back a lot of memories. Had I not read it, I never would have known that you can’t swim and are legally blind without your contacts. Thank you.

Ah, Lacey Underall… you were a coked out babe to remember.

Morning Quick Hits: Phones, Angry Seals and infinite Darkness

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Russell Crowe apologizes for his phone throwing antics on the Letterman show, adding "This is possibly the most shameful situation I’ve ever gotten myself in in my life, and I’ve done some pretty dumb things in my life…So to actually make a new number one is spectacularly stupid."

So what was the previous number one? I’m not exactly sure, but I bet it had to do with 30 Odd Foot of Grunt.

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Seals can fight back too. Seal attempts to strangle a photographer that get’s too close to his baby daughter. Didn’t that photog ever watch the Discovery channel? You’re not supposed to get in between a seal and its baby. More photos can be seen  hereherehere and here .

and now for a new segment of the BWE blog…

Celebrity Words Of Wisdom:

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"Some things you can achieve through this job are amazing, such as making a sick child smile or raising money for charity."

This moment has been brought to you by Jennifer Garner, in a garter belt.

Tom Cruise is confused why people would believe Scientologists are slightly ‘looney’ and ‘cult-like’. You’re absolutely right, Tom. I knew nothing of Scientology. So I did some research and here’s what I found out…

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1) There is an evil space alien and his name is Xenu.
2)
John "Grease Lightening" Travolta swears by the Scientologist’s E-meter (Scientologist’s super duper lie detector machine).
3) The origin of the cult’s belief is that their bodies are inhabited by the wandering souls of fried space aliens. No joke.
4) Earth is called actually called Teegeeack. Years ago some stuff went down and  Xenu was captured and put in an electronic mountain trap. He still resides there… to this very day.

Wow.

and all this time I have been watching Star Trek? Had I known about Scientology, I would have signed up like 10 years ago. I will never mock you again, Tom. You aren’t so much as crazy as misunderstood. I suggest you start telling these facts about your religion instead of that lame ‘no drug policy.’ I have a feeling that Xenu will charm the pants off of any non-believer.

CHRIS KLEIN’S REBUTTAL

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Chris Klein: (pacing) Tom Cruise is weird? I’m weird! I am. I love women. I do. I love Katie. Still! I love a lot of stuff. Gazpacho. I’m pregnant with my lust for gazpacho.

Agent: Back-up.

Chris
Klein:
I do wild stuff. Crazy. Like Charles Manson. Loco. Look at this
foot work. Should I stagger like this? I’m waffle batter. Pour me into
the crazy machine.

Agent: Come on, man. Wow! I’m either going to say "wrong" or "nope" the whole time. When I do, you will re-direct.

Chris
Klein:
Uh. Ugh. I seduce squirrels!!! I do. Out in the woods. I put
little bandannas on tiny wooden tables, pour ‘em a little vino, throw
‘em a couple of nuts and then, you know!! it gets intense! Swear on a
million bibles. Even get their cab fare home.

Agent: Wrong. But keep going.

Continue reading…

Everybody just loves Katie Holmes…and squirrels…

My Girl

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Everybody’s talking about My Girl’s Anna Chlumsky. She hasn’t been in a movie since 1995, but out of no where a current picture of her started making rounds on the internet. So naturally I assume she’s coming back to Hollywood. The internet never lies.

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"My Girl 3" anyone?

Tommy Lee’s aiport X-ray shenanigans, caught on tape.

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You may have read the stories but have you seen the video? Tommy Lee’s  Heathrow Airport shenanigans were caught on tape. In order to watch the video you will need to unzip the file, but I think it’s worth the hassle.

I find it funny that people were concerned about Tommy’s health after sliding through the x-ray machine. Um, hello, we’re talking Tommy Lee here! He was in Motley Crue! I don’t think we have to worry about a little radiation, people.[Watch now.]

Tom Cruise’s Medical Forum

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Can you give me some examples of medical situations that were treated more effectively with this alternate medical philosophy?

Sure. I can recall an incident on the set of ‘Days of Thunder’ where a stunt driver had a horrible, high-speed accident, just barreled into a wall, and unfortunately he had been harnessed incorrectly. He was screaming in agony, his legs and several ribs were obviously very badly broken, and the first instinct of everyone on the set was to get him airlifted to a medical treatment facility. Luckily, amid all of this hysterical panic, someone was clear-thinking enough to come to my trailer to notify me of what had happened. I sprinted to the scene and insisted the air paramedic be turned away–it was clear to me that what this man was most in need of was a handful of high-potency vitamins, which I administered with all due haste.

Really? This is an effective treatment for numerous compound fractures?

Well, not on its own, obviously. I had him carried to my trailer and placed in my sauna, where he could sweat out the pain-toxins that were coursing through his bloodstream.

Want to know more? Continue reading the hilarious "Tom Cruise’s medical forum".

Coldplay de-coded

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Coldplay_1Some blokes with too much time on their hands were able to decode the new Coldplay album cover.  Here’s what they came up with: [From NME.com]

…the seemingly random blocks of colour are in fact a 19th century telegraphic code.

The centre pages of the ’X&Y’ inlay shows the full telegraphic alphabet, with the vertical arrangements of blocks representing each letter of the regular alphabet, as well as the coding for numbers and other symbols such as brackets, question marks and ampersands.

When applied to the cover image, it is revealed that the configuration of blocks spells out ‘X&Y’, whilst the message at the back of the album’s booklet says, ’Make Trade Fair’. The colour scheming is merely for decoration.

I don’t know whether to be disappointed that it turned out to be really boring, or just relieved that it has nothing to do with Gwyneth.

I agree with fair trade, though. Like, when you go back to the record store to trade X&Y in, you should definitely get $5 or $6 back in store credit. Thanks for looking out, Chris.