Morning Quick Hits: Bow down before the one you serve. You’re going to get what you deserve



Don’t like Paris Hilton’s Carl’s Jr. Ad ? Well fine, I suppose you and your burger hating self can sign this petition to Carl Karcher Enterprises to stop airing it. Apparently it was started by someone named N. Richie.  Hmm…. I wonder…. In other Paris related news, she would just like everyone to know that she is not a "spoilt brat", so step off.

George Lucas
finds himself a script for Indiana Jones 4. I’m so excited! I wonder how Lucas is going to find a way to ruin another amazing movie franchise from my childhood!!! I can hardly wait to see!

Lindsay Lohan’s fender bender
with the paparazzi leaves her unharmed and slightly rattled. Herbie unavailable for comment.

In more interesting news Lohan’s boobie shrinkage couldn’t have had… like…. anything to… like… do with natural body fat loss or like…anything.

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails is almost $3 Million dollars richer today after winning a court case against his ex-manager, John Malm. Reznor plans on using the money to find new ways to alienate himself from people.

The Daily Dish is all about the heartbreak today, folks. Let’s see, we got Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt staying in separate hotels, a Hilton/Lohan/Richie tug of war,  and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are laughing at us.
Cashing in on those awkward teenage years is getting easier. Case in point: P Diddy making $3 Million dollars off of his bad acne. That’s the most money anybody’s made off of acne since Zack Morris sold bogus pimple cream to all of Bayside in Saved by The Bell.

Will  Smith and his wife Jada Pinket Smith believe the key to a happy marriage is having sexual relations with whoever you fancy, because you shouldn’t avoid "what’s natural". Right. Got it. Having sex with your co-workers is totally natural. It’s all coming together now… too bad Jennifer Aniston didn’t get the memo.

Meanwhile, Eva Longoria and her boxes and boxes of vibrators are doing just fine without the Smith’s advice.

Win a “Dream Date” with Carmen Electra



Not to be upstaged by her ex-husband, the wife-carrying Dennis Rodman, Carmen Electra has put herself up for auction on Ebay. Turns out you can buy hot, married, high profile women on the Internet. Real ones!

Unfortunately, bidding has ended, and Carmen sold for $407,500.00. That’s honestly not that bad of a deal. If you broke her down to parts she’d probably sell for much, much more than that.

Ladies Love Cool Hoff


David Hasselhoff said that he’s tempted to have an affair on a daily basis.


Looking at that picture, now I am too.

In a recent interview, Hasselhoff said, "You can be a diabetic and look at a cake, can’t you? You just can’t eat it." — Which is true. You also can’t f*** it.

He went on. "I’m tempted to stray every day. Come on. I’ve met people and said to them: ‘In a different place, in a different time… I just want you to know that.’ There are so many people in this world you could hook up with."

ESPECIALLY when you’re big in Germany.

David should have stopped talking right after the cake metaphor. Haven’t all the years lifeguarding and driving around in talking cars taught him anything? His wife is going to kill him.

Good thing he’s not diabetic. This man is going to need some cake, pronto.

Working For the Weekend



Loverboy’s "Working For The Weekend" which is already the greatest song ever created by man has just got about ten times worse BETTER. [link ]

Christian Slater Arrested in NY



NEW YORK (Reuters) – Actor Christian Slater was charged on Tuesday with sexual abuse after reportedly groping a woman’s buttocks while drunk, police said on Tuesday.

Slater, 35, was arrested at 2:30 a.m. in New York’s Upper East Side and he was booked on a misdemeanor sexual abuse, police said. He faces 60 days in jail if convicted.[full article]

No-touchie. That’s a bad, Christian Slater, Bad!

I guess Christian’s Untamed Heart fell just short of True Romance.

Remember this, Mr. Slater: "Feeling screwed up in a screwed up place, in a screwed up time, does not mean that you are screwed up." Or something.

Kevin The PA’s Quick Hits


Angelina_jolie1. Hollywood tigress Angelina Jolie freaked out the crew of her most recent movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, with her extensive knowledge of knives.  Asking questions like, “Which particular hook is good for ripping their flesh on the way out?,” Jolie reminded us that although she’s really hot, she’s still pretty damn crazy. 

2. With their latest eBay purchase, Internet casino spent $15,000 to name another child The baby’s parents, Pacmanfever and Where’sTheBeef Silverman are incredibly proud.

3. Australian gazelle Nicole Kidman is reportedly dating a handbag designer.  She continues to make her way down the spectrum, planning to woo Harvey Firestein next. 

4. Bob Geldof announced the lineup for Live Aid II which will occur around the world on July 2..  With Will Smith’s help, maybe parents will understand that global poverty is a very serious issue.   

5. Oliver Stone was arrested over the weekend for a DUI.  Stone was subjected to tests and police described his responses as “extremely slow” and “difficult to watch.”

Episode III Easter Egg Hunt



Fans know well what audiences around the world are discovering: you simply cannot take in all the detail of a Star Wars movie in one sitting. So intricate and meticulous is each shot that every image tells a rich story. In some cases, that story is kind of funny — a cleverly placed nod to audience members who know where to look. For eagle eyed viewers, they’re called Easter Eggs. Sometimes they’re inside jokes. Other times, they’re just interesting details that are very easy to overlook.[Continue Reading...]

A few fans leave their dignity behind and watch the film frame by frame. Wow. To those of you who are pretending to not be interested may find this essay on fictional universes and the fans who rationalize them,"The Science of Consistency" worth reading. Or if words are too difficult for you right now, I suggest you go watch the fan film "Imperial Chopper".

A fake impromptu U2 concert



Improv Everywhere stirs up trouble again with a fake impromptu U2 concert on a rooftop across the street from Madison Square Garden. Not only do they pull it off but they have a heap of pictures to prove to the world that people will believe just about anything when they see a television camera and some old dude who still wears sunglasses at night.

Direct Photo set links 1 and 2 for your quick viewing pleasure and be sure to get the whole event recap here.