Today in Celebrity Conception



In 1958, the parents of Viggo Mortensen tried and failed to conceive the future Lord of the Rings star. The failure was attributed to the appearance of a wraith who had been commanded by an all-seeing flaming eye as well as the chronic headache problems his mother was suffering from at the time. She had some lembas, and Viggo was conceived the next day. Later that year, Elvish released "Jailhouse Rock" but entered the army and was sent to Mordor.

Successfully conceived today: John Lithgow (1945), Evander Holyfield (1962), Jon Favreau (1966), Amy Carter (1967), Trey Parker (1969)

Have You Seen Me Lately?



Then: Max Battimo played the role of Zack Morris’ best friend Mikey on the Saved by the Bell prequel (sorta), "Good Morning Miss Bliss." When Zack, Lisa, and Screech graduated junior high and inexplicably moved to Bayside, California together, Mikey was left behind. He hasn’t been heard from since.

Now: According to, Max is a hockey ref for the ECHL and his nickname is Italy Max. He also stereotypically owns an Italian food chain. Below is an artist’s rendition of what Max "Mikey" Battimo probably looks like today.


Our work here is done. Who else do you want us to locate? No ex-celebrity is too obscure… we’ll get ‘em!

Hide the Children!



In this installment of Hide the Children!, actress Meg Ryan adopts a baby girl from China, becoming the latest celebrity to kidnap rescue a child from the horrors of a normal life.   

Coming soon – Save the Children: the Hottest Adoption Boutique on Rodeo Drive.


My, How Things Have Changed!



Years ago,  when life was simpler, me and my girlfriends would spend the whole day at the picture show eating peanut brittle, laughing at John Waters’ moving picture show Hairspray.

Many years later, before most of you can even remember, they turned it into a show on Broadway! It warms my heart that after so many years they’re remaking the classic show based on the classic film once again. And this time for film! Every generation has their Tracy Turnblad. Mine was a budding young starlet by the name of Ricki Lake. Could the next Tracy Turnblad be you?

CASTING CALL: HAIRSPRAY New Line Cinema has launched a nationwide casting search to fill three roles, including the lead role of Tracy Turnblad, in its upcoming feature film adaptation of the hit Broadway musical Hairspray, it was announced today by Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, producers of Hairspray and the Golden Globe and Academy Award-winning Best Picture Chicago. (

Has the Theaters’ “Bubble” Burst?



You may have heard by now that Steven Soderbergh’s new movie, Bubble, is being released more or less simultaneously in theaters, on cable, and in DVD form. This is scary stuff for theater owners and studios because they worry that people won’t come out to the theaters anymore. Mark Cuban, who is putting money behind the idea, has some interesting ideas up on his blog (which you should read regularly:

The point in all this is to emphasize my shock in reading EVERY SINGLE COMMENT about the day and date release strategy of Bubble and the many films we will release this way behind it.

Go through every article. Hollywood Producers, Directors, Theater owners from big chains and honchos from theater trade organizations.

NOT A SINGLE PERSON. NOT ONE stood up and said, “screw him, our product is great. We dont care what he does”. Not a single person said  “It could hurt our business, but we will just have to work harder to bring people in to our theaters”. Not a single person said, “It will make us have to work harder and create a better value and experience for our customer”

I think this is really on target. Just like the music industry, the movie studios and theater companies are going to have to get used to all the competition out there. It would be sad for me, personally, if movie theaters disappeared, but who am I to tell people where and how they should watch movies? In New York, going to a movie can cost a family of four sixty dollars. Why would someone struggling to make ends meet pay that when they can watch the same movie on DVD at home (a few months later) for three dollars? They wouldn’t, unless they are given a unique experience at the theater. Right now, all they get is sticky floors, uncomfortable seats, expensive popcorn, and “The 20” (which I actually like). Movies, we love you. But don’t take us for granted.

Finally, Irrefutable Proof There’s a God


Naturally, it comes from Star magazine. Where else?


"She told me that maybe a sexy magazine layout with her showing her assets might give her a little edgier image and she might be considered for a femme fatale role. She knows she can pull it off, but she thinks casting directors aren’t so sure." – A "friend"

Okay, so it’s far from conclusive… but still. You gotta believe. You just gotta.

In the meantime, Egotastic has a bunch of pictures of J-Love in a bikini to tide you over. They sure beat sitting through The Ghost Whisperer.

American Idols: Good Country Folk



It’s no secret that American Idol audition candidates are the creme of the crop. One can only assume the show’s producers subject their talent to rigorous background checks, psychological screenings, and drug sniffing dogs. So it was a shock to discover that one candidate on Tuesday night’s episode has a history of violence.

Rhonetta Johnson, last seen gloating about her musical abilities to little fanfare, was charged in 2003 with "assault of a deadly weapon–cutting." Apparently Bitch will cut you.

Check out her inmate summary here  .(Thanks trent!!)