Kevin The PA’s Links of the Day

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What’s up, my  name is Kevin and I’m the brand new PA here at Best Week Ever. For those of you not "in the biz" PA technically stands for Practically Anything. So, when I was asked to start contributing cool links to the BWE blog, I thought, "Well, that falls under my job description… I guess I have to do it."  So here they are. Oh, and if you hate them, please, be gentle. Because like the The Godfather said (The one from the WWF, not that lame movie) "PA’ing ain’t easy."

BeyonceBeyonce had her father and manager Matthew Knowles saying no, no, no when she fired him the other day. I guess Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner just weren’t awkward enough.  

Everyone’s favorite housewife Eva Longoria is reportedly dating Kiefer Sutherland.  Last week it was Darth Vader, now its Jack Bauer.  I’ve done the math, and I figure that at this rate she’ll be dating me by… Thursday!

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger drew inspiration for his political career from the most unlikely of sources- Hitler!  The Terminator said, “I admire him for being such a good public speaker and his way of getting to the people and so on."  Good thing there are no Jews in Hollywood… 

Mover over Lohan, its been reported that Katie Holmes will star alongside Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 3.  This week. Now if only Cruise would’ve landed Kate Bosworth like he originally wanted, who knows what would’ve happened.

"Star Wars" brought in huge numbers this past weekend, making a staggering 158.5 million dollars at the box office.  Look for it to beat out "Return of the King" and "The Matrix" as the greatest movie ever on the imdb top 250. Actually, no… it probably won’t. Sorry losers.   

thanks england

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Saddam

Well, I guess now we know where he was hiding those Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

desperately wanting

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Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry desperately wants to make a cameo on the hit show "Desperate Housewives. Unfortunately for her, the cast has banded together to bring this to a halt, fearing that Berry would "cheapen" the show. Halle_berry

Let me say that again.

The cast that includes:

  • Teri "Brainsmasher: A Love Story" Hatcher
  • Felicity "Christmas With The Kranks" Huffman
  • Eva "The Young And The Restless" Longoria
  • Marcia "Melrose Place" Cross

and

  • Nicollette "Beverly Hills Ninja" Sheridan

Are all worried about Oscar-winner Halle Berry CHEAPENING the show.

Listen, I know she was Catwoman, but we can’t hold that against her forever, can we? Can we, Marcia "Female Perversions" Cross? Can we?

Let Halle make her cameo. I’m sure she’ll even let you all touch her Oscar if you ask nicely. Well, except for you, Steven "Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday" Culp. You might just get to look at it, that’s all.

create your own caption

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Mystery_pic

After checking its fat content, a gaunt Lindsay Lohan finally just said "F— it" and devoured a fully operational microphone in front of hundreds of stunned onlookers. It’s expected to pass sometime this weekend.

Your turn.

britney and kevin count to 10

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Britney and her second husband Kevin appeared on Letterman last night to promote their new television clusterf— show "Chaotic." Here are their Top 10 Reasons to Watch.

Britney_kevin

10. Britney: There’s never-before-seen footage of me wrestling an alligator.

9. Kevin: Unlike those "Desperate Housewives" chicks, we’re not, like, 60 years old.

8. Britney: It’s like "American Idol" except no one sleeps with Paula Abdul

7. Kevin: In the first episode, you can see my ass.

6. Britney: I’m hot.

5. Kevin: She’s hot.

4. Britney and Kevin: We haven’t had nearly enough media coverage.

3. Britney: It’s gotta be better than this show.

2. Kevin: If enough people tune in, maybe my wife will make out with Madonna again.

1. Britney: In the season finale, you’ll find out that Dave is the father of my baby — oops.

I missed it last night, did any of these things happen? I’d be particularly interested in seeing Brit take on an alligator. At this point I think it’d be a pretty even match.

So what did you guys think of the show? Is it a complete disaster or is it amazing? Or both?

Quick Hits

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Orlando_bloomColdplay will kick off a 36-City tour this August. Chris Martin looks forward to impregnating groupies in each city and naming them after pieces of produce to give Apple fruity friends to play with.

Jason Priestley got married in the Bahamas over the weekend. Sadly, NOT to Emily Valentine.

A Robin Williams impersonator has agreed to stop acting like Robin Williams after a lawsuit was filed against him. He’s sad that he will no longer be able to make money off the gig, but he’s excited that now people might actually be able to tolerate being around him.

MTV has announced that they will air a new reality show starring RUN DMC’s Reverend Run. Adidas stock is expected to soar.

Orlando Bloom said he perfected his acting skills by pretending to act like a lizard. In a related story, Josh Hartnett revealed that he perfected his by acting like a rock.

Lindsay Lohan to star in Mission Impossible 3? That’s un-possible!

advanced math

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Natalie_portman_2_1 

+

American_dad

(X)

Sinead_oconnor

=

Natalie_portman_3

And somehow, Natalie Portman still looks amazing. Wow. Something just doesn’t add up.

joan rivers runs through us

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The one and only Joan Rivers dropped by the BWE studios this week, and honestly, we haven’t been the same since.

Joan_rivers_3 Click here to watch Joan rant about the new Star Wars movie.

Click here to go to her website.

Or you can click here to check out her upcoming schedule.

Is Joan Rivers having the Best Week Ever? You’ll have to tune in tonight at 11 to find out.

E! officially trying to kill Tara Reid

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Tara_reid_3

Remember when Tara Reid appeared on the Ellen Degeneres Show and declared that she was looking for a nice guy, and that she wasn’t the big party animal that the tabloids make her out to be? 

Well, to prove her point Tara started dating Tommy Lee and now it’s been announced that she will host E!’s Wild On series. Uh oh. Like Tara needed an excuse to drink.

Tara is set to party her way through Europe this summer with an E! camera crew tagging along. In order to make it even more interactive, I already started working on a Wild On drinking game so we can play along at home. Here’s what I’ve got so far. This is only for experienced drinkers, though, so I advise you to proceed with caution.  Here we go:

  • Drink every time Tara does

That’s it. I think it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll be hammered by the end of each episode. Good luck.

you write the caption

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Lohan_and_richie_5

I’m pretty sure that’s Lindsay Lohan on the left and Nicole Richie on the Right. I think. I hope not. But I think.

So, you write the caption. The winner gets to buy them a cheeseburger. Go.