Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal Are Pregnaant!

by (@hallekiefer)

Jaacob? Maadison? Noaah? Oliviaa? Pirate conventions of the world, get ready to hoist a pint of lager and roll your salty Rs, because Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal confirmed to People today that they’re currently expecting their second child. Married since 2009, the Hysteria star and Green Lantern villain are already parents to 5-year-old Ramona, who really dodged the double vowel bullet as far as we’re concerned. No Raamonaa? She’s going to be so jealous of baby Isaabellllaa. Jealous, or filled with pity.

Do NOT Mess With Spaceballs’ President Skroob, Even In 2011

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Our pal Tom Ganjamie draws our attention to this odd piece of nostalgic street-art, featuring a variety of black-and-white ‘ads’ around Manhattan’s East Village for “SmartAir” and “Poland Spring Air” satirizing bottled water companies. However, the posters have each been slapped with a copyright notice from none other than President Skroob from the movie Spaceballs, claiming intellectual property over the idea of canned air and urging the artists to cease the display.

Here’s what the ads look like:

And here’s the Spaceballs copyright notice up close (click for Full Size):

Being the internet dead-inside-people skeptics that we are, we’d bet that the Skroob thing is either part of the exhibit or an attention-grabbing prank (not sure how many actual legal documents carry a giant ‘SKROOB’ signature), but either way, President Skroob has made his legal presence felt, proving again that it is far more difficult to swipe Skroob’s intellectual property than it is to break into his luggage.

After the jump, an additional pic of the Poland Spring Air ad:

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Tobey Maguire Settles Weird Underground Poker Lawsuit

by (@hallekiefer)

Finding out that Tobey Maguire regularly rakes in hundreds of thousands of dollars at underground A-list poker games is like finding out your soft-spoken gym teacher was a mafioso, or that the school nurse was an exotic animals smuggler. Kind of cool, but weirdly unexpected and, therefore, unsettling? Rather than go to court and potentially have more perturbingly cool secrets revealed, the Great Gatsby star decided to pony up $80,000 to settle a lawsuit over winnings he got from poker buddy/corrupt investor Brad Ruderman. Maguire won $311,000 off Ruderman during said awesome games; Ruderman’s clients now insist that their funds illegally made their way into the Spider-Man actor’s winnings. Tobey asserted as part of the settlement that he didn’t know about Ruderman’s financial dealings “or any other improper activity.” That being said, it all really makes you wonder what secrets lurk behind those sleepy, sleepy eyes. Seriously, the man was in Seabiscuit! It just doesn’t seem right!

Angelina Jolie Wanted To Be A Funeral Director When She Grew Up

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Angelina Jolie is sorry for your loss. The 36-year old actress appeared on 60 Minutes over the weekend and admitted that she was considering a career as a funeral director. That is, if her acting career didn’t take off. Not exactly every little girl’s dream. No one could ever accuse of Angie of being a little Miss Sunshine, but this is darker than we expected!

“It sounds like this very strange, eccentric, dark thing to do, but in fact I lost my grandfather and was very upset with his funeral,” she told interviewer Bob Simon. “How somebody passes and how family deals with this passing and what death is should be addressed in a different way. If this whole acting thing didn’t work out that was going to be my path.”

Thankfully the “the whole acting thing” did work out. But it’s never too late to follow your dreams, Angelina! Career changes happen all the time. Check out the gallery below some other jobs we could totally see her doing!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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The Terrifying Truth Behind Santa’s Secret Identity

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Ever wonder why no kid has ever actually seen Santa Claus? No, it’s not because Santa is a fictional, magical being who sprung from the collective imagination of whimsical parents before being murdered by Tim Allen in that hilarious family movie. Santa is in fact very real, and he takes his anonymity very, very seriously.

As this sketch horrifyingly illustrates, it’s not that Santa wants to remain anonymous, but Santa knows what he has to do. And that makes Santa saddddd. Behold, the eye-opening truth (semi-NSFW):

Between this vid and last night’s Walking Dead, it’s been a rough week for kids. Just hang on, little guys and I promise I’ll buy you some beer!

(via Dan St. Germain)

Who Is Anne Hathaway’s Future Mr. Catwoman Adam Shulman?

by (@hallekiefer)

Anne Hathaway has come a long way from the young woman with grotesque fake eyebrows in The Princess Diaries. As of today, however, Anne can start preparing for her latest role (Smug Married #5), seeing as how she’s officially engaged to her beau of three years Adam Shulman. But who is Mr.  Shulman, anyway, in addition to being a total babe and confident enough in his masculinity to date a literal supervillian? Learn a little more about the man who Hathaway will have extremely pale, charismatic babies with (we hope!):

  1. Has starred in a Dukes Of Hazzard movie: Bestowing upon him the honor of co-starring alongside Mr. Willie Nelson, Adam’s most prominent acting role (of the, um, four he’s done) would be Deputy Enos Strate in the TV movie The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning. Adam and Anne didn’t start dating until 2008, so this was clearly not the work of nepotism. Clearly.
  2. Has worked with Brittany Snow: As well as his episode turn on The West Wing in 2006 (we’re sure he killed it as Youth Voter #1), Adam had a seven episode run guest starring as Paul O’Bannon on the period family drama American Dreams, which was set in the tumultuous ’60s, back in 2005. He pre-Mad Men‘ed Mad Men!
  3. Makes jewelry!: Earlier this year Adam started a jewelry line James Banks Design with partner Heidi Nahser Fink; their pieces appear to be delightfully light bulb- and butterfly-centric. Shockingly, Anne’s engagement ring was designed by Kwiat Heritage, her rep says, though maybe Adam’s planning to blow her away with a butterfly-light bulb masterpiece at the ceremony.
  4. May have gotten up to some low-level thievery: Shulman got into trouble last year after he and some friends swiped a piece of street art pained by graffiti artist Mr. Brainwash in NYC. After Hathaway’s ex Raffaello Follieri, though, anything short of a felony must seem ring-worthy. What with all the swindling investors and whatnot.
  5. Saw Hathaway’s Oscar hosting gig and loves her anyway: Is there any greater act of love than that? Hey, don’t cry, James Franco. One day. One day.

Let’s All Watch This Lady Be Super Afraid Of Kittens

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Here’s a video from the latest episode of Animal Planet’s My Extreme Animal Phobia, in which a lady finally confronts her deep-seated but impossible-not-to-laugh at fear of tiny adorable kittens. The joyless internetter in me wants to say, “There’s no way anything about this clip is real,” but then there’s kittens and freaking out and it’s just a grand ol’ time no matter how unmeowlievable it seems.

We HAVE to get this lady together with fear of puppies face-tattoo man. Can someone make this happen? Their kid’ll just be afraid of air.

Also, does this lady just never use the internet? How could she?

How Will Delirium’s Love Cure Translate To The Screen? Dystopian Week Begins!

by (@shalapitcher)


It is an angst-ridden time for fans of young adult books and their movie adaptations: We’ve seen Breaking Dawn Part 1 too many times, the March debut of The Hunger Games seems eons away, and they still haven’t announced the rest of the Mortal Instruments cast. That’s why we here at TheFABlife have teamed up with our friends at Hollywood Crush and NextMovie to bring you Dystopian Week! A week of interviews, movie updates reviews and guest blogs all about these dark fictional depictions of the future is sure to cheer us all up about the present, right? First up, we’ve got Delirium author Lauren Oliver.

Delirium poses a scary question: What if the world decided that love is the root of all of our problems, and scientists discovered a way to cure us all of this terribly destructive “disease” (amor deliria nervosa) on our 18th birthday? Lena Haloway can’t wait to get the cure, after seeing it kill her mother and nearly destroy her sister. But then, of course, she meets a boy named Alex.

Shortly after the book, part one of a trilogy, hit shelves in February, it was snatched up by producers Paula Mazur and Mitch Kaplan and is now slated for movie adaptation by Fox 2000.

“I know that we’re trying to move forward and put directors onboard, think about casting,” Oliver told TheFABlife last week. “I love the producers, and I love the script writer, with whom I’ve met. I’m definitely very much in touch with the producers, and I will read and comment on the script eventually. One of the reasons I really wanted to work with them specifically was that they got on the phone with me from the start, explained their vision, and it really felt like a collaboration from the start.”
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Ben Affleck’s Dolphin Joins Our List Of Goofy Celebrity Tattoos

by (@JordanRuntagh)

We’re going to take a break from commenting on Ben Affleck’s new Justin-Bieber-as-a-mountain-man look for a little bit so we can reflect on what appears to be a new tattoo. Or at least it’s new to us. The actor flashed the ink as he took his daughters Violet and Seraphina to lunch in LA over the weekend, and to be honest we’re still trying to figure out what the hell it’s supposed to be. People keep insisting that the tat is a picture of a dolphin, but we’re not so convinced. It looks more to us like it could be one of the following:

1. The fabled Loch Ness Monster.

2. A tribute to the film Free Willy.

3. McDonald-Land character Grimace, after being run over with a steam roller.

4. A shaggy mop-top toupee.

Any suggestions, guys? But regardless of whatever it happens to be, Ben has officially joined our list of the goofiest celebrity tattoos. Check out the rest of the entries in the gallery below!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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The Most Useless Cyber Monday Deal: All FOUR Home Alone Movies

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Amazon emailed me this morning with some sweet Cyber Monday deals (we’re tight like that – Amazon also texted to see if I wanted to catch Drive tomorrow night but I was like “Saw it already, sorry!” and Amazon hasn’t texted back yet but I think he’s at work). Most of the deals were outlandishly cheap, and the link even included personalized recommendations for me (!!!special!!!), but one of the recommendations caught my eye, and not for its cheapness, but because the title threw my face into Marvlike, blank-stare confusion.

Why would I want a four-disc set entitled Home Alone: The Complete Collection?

Four movies?? Is it Home Alone 1 and 2 on regular DVD and Blu-Ray? Because as all of us true Home Alone fans know, that timeline ENDS as soon as Kevin gets found in New York, period, and those other two “Alone” films do not count. Explain yourself, box:

The hilarious HOME ALONE franchise gets the royal treatment with this four-title special collection. Included here are the two Macaulay Culkin-sized blockbuster mega-hits HOME ALONE and HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK, as well as mop-topped moppet Alex D. Linz’s introduction to the series in HOME ALONE 3, and the return of the McCallister clan in HOME ALONE 4: TAKING BACK THE HOUSE.

Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House??? I’m sorry, you don’t exist. And even if you did exist, why would I be wasting precious DVD shelf space on you when I can just rewatch Home Alone 2 for the eighty billionth time and point out how many times Daniel Stern should be dead but love it anyway? Because I might have kids and my kids might like it? What a stupid reason.

The Rocky Saga stopped at 4, the Godfather Two-ogy stopped at 2, and Home Alone ended when Macaulay Culkin got married at like 14 then disappeared. This is common knowledge. And also, I’ll take 10.