Seal And Heidi Klum: Doomed To Split Or Destined To Reunite?

by (@shalapitcher)

Even as Seal insists to Piers Morgan, Tavis Smiley and Ellen DeGeneres that he and Heidi Klum still love and respect each other, despite their separation, the gossip world is doing its darndest to dig up dirt on why the super couple is splitting. We’re kind of getting whiplash from this whole thing — do they still have a chance at a reunion, or has divorce been a long time coming? Draw your own conclusions based on these stories:

  • TMZ still maintains that Seal’s “volcanic” temper is the cause of their problems. Talk about a blow to our image of the man who just sang Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” on Ellen.
  • Some sources told People that the couple’s trip to Aspen over the holidays marked “the final straw” of their relationship. “Aspen didn’t go as well as planned … there were more lows than highs.” At the same time, paparazzi in the ski town were just as blissfully unaware as the rest of us: “They couldn’t stop kissing and cuddling. They spent a lot of time with their kids, but also managed to sneak in several solo ski runs together. If they were having problems, they were definitely not showing during the day.”

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Rihanna Gets Hard-Core With Knuckle Tats And Danny Trejo

by (@hallekiefer)

Rihanna just wants to make it crystal clear how hard core she’s become. Sometimes a parade of microscopic bikinis and a gun tattoo are not enough to convey the level of hard core a lady is hoping to achieve. Might we suggest white-ink knuckle tats and Machete star Danny Trejo? The man’s name almost always appears next to a type of gigantic knife, by far the most hard-core weapon there is. Top five, at least.

Last night RiRi tweeted her cred while boozing it up at famed tattoo artist Mark Mahoney’s Hollywood parlor. “All these bitches screaming that 2pac back ♫ #THUGLIFE,” she posted along with her homage, later adding “I #LOVE my new tattoo!!! Can’t wait for yall to see it!!! I got it in ‘Tibetan’ this time!!! #approved.” So Rihanna got even more tattoos that we haven’t seen yet? And they’re in “Tibetan,” the most hard-core language there is? OK, we’re calling it: gigantic face tat before 2013 and best friends with….let’s say…Mickey Rourke? Yeah, Mickey Rourke.

[Photo: Rihanna’s Twitter]

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And This Little Piggy Hates Bacon

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Anyone who knows me knows I enjoy a spot of bacon now and again. From when I put my bra on in the morning to when I fall asleep at night, I sometimes wonder if anything can be improved with just a little bit of that familiar smoky bacon flavor. Like a chopped salad, a soup, my taxes, etc.

But on the other mud-clumped hoof, sometimes I come across a photo so sweet, so precious, I think HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PUT THIS THING IN MY MOUTH? Meet this miniature tiny little pig:

Hey PETA, remember when we thought a piglet in boots would be an effective way to stop the bacon industry? We lied. It’s a pig the size of a Wilson tennis ball. I definitely would not want Roger Federer to backhand this little sucker into my next Cobb salad.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish up my adoption papers for my future dream sons.

(via Reddit)

Did Terry Richardson Photograph Himself Having Sex With Juliette Lewis?

by (@shalapitcher)

Actress Juliette Lewis does seem to be the kind of lady who is game for all sorts of crazy antics. Still, we wore the expression she has above when we glimpsed a rather graphic photo, first tweeted by the aptly named @TotallyNSFW and then posted on Fleshbot. Gawker is convinced that it is indeed what it appears to be: Juliette having sex with Terry Richardson while standing up. Update: Gawker received an email from Juliette’s publicist denying that the photo is of the actress, yet simultaneously demanding that they take the photo down.

Here’s all we can post of the pic:
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Internet Finally Combines The Walking Dead Credits With The Growing Pains Theme Song

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In the internet’s infinite, insatiable desire to remix everything by combining everything with everything, here’s the next item on the comically huge list: A new Walking Dead opening credits re-cut to the “Growing Pains” theme.

If this doesn’t get you psyched up for the return of Walking Dead, then nothing will! Except the possibility of eighty-five more episodes where they search for Sophia and pull four zombies out of wells for some reason in every cold-open. Also in this world, Sophia is Boner, or something. Sure:

Next up on the internet’s to-do list: This video remixed with The Empire Strikes Lebowski. Just another day at the rat race dot com.

(Blastr, via Pop Culture Brain)

New Study Proves That Bacon Stops Nosebleeds, Is Indeed Magic

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We all know that bacon is literally magical and can do anything, but according to a new study at the Detroit Medical Center, “Anything” now includes “The ability to stop nosebleeds”:

A new medical study recommends a method called “nasal packing with strips of cured pork” as an effective way to treat uncontrollable nosebleeds…

“Cured salted pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal hemorrhage promptly, effectively, and without sequelae … To our knowledge, this represents the first description of nasal packing with strips of cured pork for treatment of life-threatening hemorrhage in a patient with Glanzmann thrombasthenia.”

So there you have it – finally, a justification for shoving bacon strips up your nose after years of us just doing that to get closer to the smell and looking foolish. Not anymore! “I have a nosebleed” BOOM – porknose. Everybody wins.

Next question – is sticking strips of pork up one’s nose to stop a nosebleed Kosher? Let’s just assume any deity would laugh.

Demi Moore Drops Out Of Lovelace, Details Of Health Scare Emerge

by (@shalapitcher)

It’s sadly easy to imagine how the stresses of divorce and work could lead to the kind of “exhaustion” Demi Moore is apparently suffering from, whether or not substances were involved in her hospitalization on Monday night. While her rep says she’s seeking “professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health,” we’re anxiously awaiting more details on how she’s doing. It can’t be a good sign that she has dropped out of playing Gloria Steinem in Lovelace, according to TMZ. We were so looking forward to seeing her take on the role of the feminist leader.

Meanwhile, the emergency incident report from the Los Angeles Fire Department says a friend on the scene told paramedics Demi was shaking and “acting like she was suffering from a seizure, a source told E! Online. Ooof.
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Miranda Kerr Morphs Into Wonder Woman For Grazia

by (@missmuttoo)

We get it. Miranda Kerr is Wonder Woman, OK? That face and that body are not of this world. How is it fair that one woman could be an angel and a super heroine at the same time? Because not only do we see Miranda strutting her stuff in her skivvies on Angel duty for Victoria’s Secret all the time, she’s now on the cover of special edition issue of Grazia Australia magazine as Wonder Woman. A couture version of Wonder Woman, that is. Mrs. Orlando Bloom is wearing a bodysuit by Alex Perry. The patriotic issue is in honor of Australia Day which is coming up on the 26th of this month — tomorrow. Light up those barbies and break out some beer. Can we also say that we love the cover line, “Kerr Pow!”

[Photo via Grazia]

Marion Cotillard Without Makeup Looks Way More Gorgeous Than Expected

by (@missmuttoo)

OK, so this is Marion Cotillard we’re talking about. The woman is a genetic marvel. Elegant, sexy, charming, beautiful — any one of those adjectives work with her, which is so rare. A large part of us, attributed that to makeup and styling, which when done right, could make anyone look like a goddess. That whole notion is now busted due to these photographs of Marion walking around New York last night without a smidge of any cosmetics on her face. Here’s what we have: She can pull off fringed boots and a beanie like a boss. She has perfectly pale, spotless skin. Her eyes are really that blue. She looks a wee bit like Vanessa Paradis (especially in the photograph on the left.) She looks way better without makeup than we do. Seriously, a ridiculously hungover friend popped in this morning, took one look at this very non-Marion face and said, “You look pretty much like how I feel.” End of story.

[Photos: Splash News Online]

Madonna Chokes Up, And Not Because Of Her Unfortunate Outfit

by (@missmuttoo)

Madonna attended the New York premiere of her film W.E. at the Ziegfeld Theatre on Monday night wearing … this. Lord knows we love us some Madge, and want her to look kick-ass all the fricking time, because she is so kick-ass. And then she goes and puts on one of the most frou-frou designers of our time — Marchesa. What can we say about those sleeves? Where’s an edit button when you need one? This wouldn’t be half so bad if it didn’t look as if her shoulders had sprouted a mustache.

The fact that she shared quite a poignant and totally unexpected moment with the audience makes the outfit even more galling. She let guests know, “Anybody that knows me knows that when I’m tired, I cry. If I cry, please, just don’t hold it against me. I’m really not a sentimental kind of a person.” But this is Madonna. Her tear glands are probably made of muscle! Apparently not, because the singer went on to reveal a softer side during her speech. She choked up for a moment when referencing her mother, adding, “Finally, I would like to thank my mother. Because, really, this story is the story of a female’s — the journey of a female, soul. And my mother gave me life.” Guys, Madonna almost cried in public. Now we’ve seen everything, And also want to give her a hug.