We spent the night curled up on our couch with a cup of tea and a plate full of pork n’ earmarks (cue rim shot!) enjoying the Vice Presidential debate so we could bring you the best moments of the sass-battle between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin. We’ve listed our favorite moments of the night – did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.
Best patriotic piece of flair: Palin’s giant sparkly flag pin. She’s proud to be an American who buys jewelry on QVC.
Most adorable interaction: Governor Palin asking Senator Biden, “Hey, can I call you Joe?” Aw shucks, she sure is doggone precious.
Best “totally written by a speech writer” dig: Biden tagging McCain’s health care plan “the ultimate bridge to nowhere.” The audience liked it, and they’re not supposed to react to anything!
Best off the cuff sassy remark: Gwen Ifill scolding both candidates for not answering her question about what they’d do as Vice President.
Best “oh no you didn’t just go there” moment: Sarah Palin correcting Joe Biden on the drill chant: “It’s drill, baby, drill.” Don’t mess with her oil!
Most awkward moment: Did Sarah Palin just call the Sentator “Joe O’Biden?” Oh, and Joe Biden let out a sigh heard around the world when Palin congratulated their mutual love of Israel. It’s a tie.
Best hairdo: While Palin’s half-up do is Alaska-dorable and her new highlights are admittedly fierce, Biden is rocking what we now call a “backwards Trump.” It’s a comb over gone way wrong, but for some reason it feels so right.
Best evil eye: Sarah Palin, when pressed by Gwen Ifill on what she and John McCain wouldn’t be able to pursue in office due to the bailout. She smiled, but her eyes were fiery!
Best dressed: We heart Joe Biden’s baby blue tie, but Palin’s gray suit is both Gossip Girl cute and grown up lady proper. She’s a federal fashionista.
Best new phrase we can’t wait to use: “The Castro Brothers.” It’s Cuba’s answer to the Jonas Brothers, ya’ll.
Best TRL moment of the night: Third graders in Alaska get a shout out from Governor Palin. What about us, Sarah?! We need extra credit too!
Best chick flick moment that was better than Beaches: Joe Biden getting choked up about his family. Get out the tissues and the Haagan Das!
Winner of the night:Trig Palin, the cutest campaigner out there. He made his way right into his mom’s arms once she was finished mavericking, so she could go to town burping him. It was too cute for politics, which is why the little wins, hands down. Screw the candidates – we like the kids best.
Last night Sarah Palin again forced Katie Couric to belabor the point, this time on the topics of Roe v. Wade and separation of church and state. When asked about Roe v. Wade, Palin stressed that she’d like to move the issue of abortion from the federal government to the state level. Couric then continued to ask her what other Supreme Court decisions she didn’t agree with, only to receive the muddled response we’ve already grown to know – and love? – too well. The VP nominee couldn’t name one other case she’d like to amend. Later in the interview, she claims to support the separation of church and state. We have a sneaky feeling the outspoken uber-Christian would have a difficult time upholding that declaration.
Check back after tonight’s VP debate for the Scandalist run-down of the sassiest remarks, best hair, and most patriotic pieces of flair.
See the Couric-Palin interview transcription after the jump.
In the portion of Katie Couric‘s interview with Sarah Palin that aired last night, Couric inquired what publications Palin reads regularly to keep abreast with foreign affairs. We challenge you to not imagine Tina Fey while reading the transcription below:
Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.
Couric: What, specifically?
Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.
Couric: Can you name a few?
Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.
It may or may not be a surprise that the New York Times isn’t served with Palin’s morning coffee. So what does the VP nominee consider a good read? We speculate the following:
The National Enquirer
Game & Fish Magazine
The Wasilla Frontiersman Newspaper
See the entire interview here, as Palin proclaims herself a feminist, states that homosexuality is a personal choice, and discusses her stance on the morning-after pill.
Feel like having a girls day shopping at Sephora for new mascara and gloss? Maybe Senator John McCain will to join you! The presidential candidate is supposedly splurging on Hollywood makeup artist Tifanie White, an Emmy nominated face painter to the stars who’s dabbed cover up and eye shadow on the faces of American Idol‘s finest. Apparently McCain has doled out $5,583.43 for White’s services prior to TV shoots. And doesn’t he just look beautiful? [NYP. Photo: GettyImages]
Sobriety has made Lindsay Lohan way confident: the Long Island lolita recently lashed out at a photographer and then destroyed Sarah Palin on her MySpace blog – all in the same day. And people say she isn’t working anymore! According to TMZ, LiLo (who was gabbing on her cell phone at the time) tripped over a barricade while walking into the Bowery Hotel in NYC, and then turned around and punched a photographer in the face. She announced into her Blackberry, “Oh my God, I just hit a paparazzi.” She seems to have done it for no good reason, too. Bad ass! Cops were called to the scene, but no one pressed charges – this time.
Linds (and her girlfriend Samantha Ronson) then took to her trusty ol’ MySpace blog to angrily pound her iBook keys about her latest enemy, vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin. Simply put, Lindsay and Sam rip her a new a-hole, on everything from drilling to gay rights:
Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock? I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be…
And of course, our favorite part:
Oh, and…Hint Hint Pali Pal- Don’t pose for anymore tabloid covers, you’re not a celebrity, you’re running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!
Hmmm – this reminds us of a joke we heard once – something about the difference between Lindsay Lohan and a pitbull. If only we could remember the punchline. [Photo: WireImage]
Even if you’ve overdosed on politics during this election, you shouldn’t miss Saturday Night Live‘s skit last night of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton making a joint nonpartisan appearance to stand up against sexism. Tina Fey, who looks uncannily like the vice presidential candidate without even trying, hilariously nailed Palin as a “mouse-gutting” Alaskan who believes “global warming is just God huggin’ us closer” and is adept at foreign policy because she can see Russia from her house. But the funniest quips of the night came after Amy Poehler, lampooning Clinton as a bitter “boner-shrinker,” called for an end to sexism, and the two comedians launched into a tirade of complaints:
Palin: “So please stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini pictures.”
Clinton: “Stop saying I have kankles.”
Palin: “Don’t refer to me as a MILF.”
Clinton: “And don’t refer to me as a flirg. I Googled it and I do not like it.”
Say what you will about his mom, but Track Palin (seen above with siblings Willow and Trig) is a straight up hunk of moose meat. Also, his name is Track. Track! It’s so absurd it’s sexy. But the nineteen-year old (eek, we’re creepy) is being accused by the dirt-diggers at the National Enquirer of having a two-year long love affair with OxyContin. They’ve even got a source who says, “I’ve partied with him (Track) for years. I’ve seen him snort cocaine, snort and smoke OxyContin, drink booze and smoke weed.”
They also point the finger at Sarah Palin‘s pregnant daughter Bristol, with another Alaskan spy alleging, “Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker. I’ve seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that they just made out with Bristol.”
Sexy! Slutty! Scandalous! Alaskan! But is it true? [National Enquirer. Photo: Getty Images]
The GOP is in some serious hot water today … with the ladies from Heart. Ann and Nancy Wilson were just sitting at home on Wednesday night trying to watch the Republican convention when they heard their song “Barracuda” playing while Sarah Palin (nickamed Sarah Barracuda in high school) was introduced. On the one hand, it all seems harmless enough, and besides, you can pretty much guarantee that when you say “Heart” to John McCain he starts to fear for his own, he’s not thinking of 70′s rock. But in a statement released on Thursday, the Wilsons made the GOP try to understand, (try to understand, try try try to understand) where they’re coming from: “The Republican campaign did not ask for permission to use the song, nor would they have been granted that permission. We have asked the Republican campaign publicly not to use our music. We hope our wishes will be honored.”
Yet, last night after John McCain spoke, the song was played yet again, resulting in a follow up statement, this time a bit more angry (hence Nancy Wilson telling EW: “I feel completely fucked over.”) This time, the statement reads:
“Sarah Palin’s views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. We ask that our song ‘Barracuda’ no longer be used to promote her image. The song ‘Barracuda’ was written in the late 70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women. (The ‘barracuda’ represented the business.) While Heart did not and would not authorize the use of their song at the RNC, there’s irony in Republican strategists’ choice to make use of it there.”
Republicans seem to have a history of misinterpreting song lyrics — back in the 1980s, Ronald Reagan often used Bruce Springsteen‘s song “Born in the U.S.A.” at events despite the song’s lyrics being about the harsh effects of Vietnam on young Americans.
We suggest the GOP assign someone from its party to start reading album liner notes.
Our maybe-first-lady knows how to shop! Vanity Fair disected Cindy McCain‘s duds from opening night of the RNC, revealing that an eighth house could have caused the same hit to the McCain bank account. Apparently the elderly duo has no problem blowing many Benjamins on a fancy outfit. If her hubby is elected into office, let’s just hope they’ll have no qualms being as generous with funding for education, healthcare and alternative energy.