2010 Video Music Awards

by

Jerky Couture: Lady Gaga’s Meat Dress Will Be Dried For Posterity

61618544

Probably the biggest talking point of this year’s VMA’s – aside from Kanye West and Taylor Swift‘s non-reunion – was Lady Gaga‘s meat dress. PETA hated it, fans were weirded out by it, and dogs just wanted to sniff it. But the bigger questions on everyone’s mind were “Is it real?” and “What does one do with that after it’s worn?” The answers are “Yes” and “Jerky”.  Gaga’s dress is going the way of Donatella Versace and the creepy Bodies exhibit, it will be dried out and then put on display.

According to the dress’ designer Franc Ferdinand “The dress will go through a process where it becomes a sort of ‘jerky’ and will be archived.” The dehydration process will render it unwearable in the future, this dress was for one night only. Ferdinand also said he doesn’t plan on using flesh for fashion again, saying “There’s not going to be meat dresses in the future. This was made for a specific purpose. It’s what it is.” We look to the designers of Project Runway now in their unconventional materials challenge to take over if we ever want to see a skirt-steak skirt again.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@unclegrambo)

Let’s Make A Toast For The Douchebags, A-Holes and Scumbags

dbags2

Ever since the VMAs aired on Sunday night, everyone here at TheFABLife has been beyond obsessed with Kanye West‘s new song, “Runaway.” In particular, the song’s chorus of “Let’s make a toast for the douchebags / Let’s have a toast for the a-holes / Let’s have a toast for the scumbags / Every one of them that I know” has been ringing through our hallways all week long. This zeitgeist-grabbing chorus got us thinking about who are today’s biggest d-bags, a-holes and scumbags; so, of course, we compiled a list of the people that we would toast … with a giant mug of Haterade, of course! Below, you’ll find our Top Ten lists of celebrities whose boorish and obnoxious behavior landed them in one of these three groupings (and that includes you, Kanye!). Who did we miss?

DOUCHEBAGS: Michael Phelps / Jon Gosselin / Brandon Davis / Jared Leto / Dustin Diamond / Criss Angel / Christian Audigier / Brody Jenner / Dane Cook / Spencer Pratt

A-HOLES: Glenn Beck / Ashton Kutcher / Michael Bay / Gordon Ramsey / Sean Penn / Rush Limbaugh / Jay Leno / Chris Brown / John Mayer / Kanye West

SCUMBAGS: Steve-O / Tiki Barber / Joe Francis / Billy Crudup / Jesse James / Ben Roethlisberger / John Edwards / Tiger Woods / Mel Gibson / O.J. Simpson

View Photo Gallery

by (@unclegrambo)

Sammi Sweetheart Looked Great At The VMAs, But Did She Look Too Great?

sammi-then-and-now-550

Yes yes, we know, we’re just as sick of talking about the 2010 Video Music Awards as you are. THAT SAID! We were watching the show again last night — clearly, we’re gluttons for punishment — and noticed something that we didn’t initially process on Sunday night. Namely, that Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola of Jersey Shore fame looked, to quote Zoolander, “really, really, ridiculously good looking.” But did she look too good-looking?

We’re not sure if it was the lighting, her makeup, or the particular blend of her spray tan that night, but there was definitely something different about the Jersey Shore cast member. Considering that cameras have been filming everyone’s favorite guidos since February pretty much non-stop, we can’t (and won’t!) say with any certainty that Sammi has had work done (though commenters on both Television Without Pity and Long Island Families aren’t exactly holding back their opinions). Instead, we’ve put together a few snaps of Sammi that range from the glorious day that that the Jersey Shore cast members were first introduced until the present day. What conclusions do YOU draw?

View Photo Gallery

by (@hallekiefer)

Chelsea Handler Slams Critics, Probably Has A Bigger Penis Than Perez

Tuesday’s lesson, children, is to never get Chelsea Handler angry. You won’t like her when she’s angry. You will like it, however, when Chelsea Handler attacks her critics over Twitter. Perez Hilton was the first to snark on Chelsea’s hosting abilities at Sunday’s event, tweeting “@RyanSeacrest I think you should host the VMAs next year! Or ME! Ha! We both would have done a better job than Chelsea did!” Which, no. Chelsea lashed back,”@perezhilton oh, f*ck off. I had a blast and the show awesome last night. Bomb? Your life is a bomb.” Oh girl! You mess with the bull, and so on.

The New York Times also put Handler on blast, claiming Chelsea “never looked comfortable, undone by nerves, brittle material and the wattage of those around her” during the show,  and calling Handler “among the worst” in VMAs history. However, the ratings don’t lie. Chelsea tweeted, “Just got word…Highest rated vma’s since 2002. Good job, mtv! Good job, kiddo.” Considering the 2002 VMAs featured Michael Jackson, Britney Spears at her peak, and the very brief return of Guns N’ Roses, those ratings are probably nothing to shake a stick at.

After their tense back and forth, Perez apologized to Chelsea…sort of: “@ChelseaHandler I still think you’re usually very funny – and you probably have a larger penis than me! Xoxo”. Whether that’s an insult toward Chelsea or toward Perez, he is probably correct.  So what did you think? Do you want Chelsea back next year, or would you rather watch middle-aged Axl Rose wheeze his way through “Welcome To The Jungle”?

by (@missmuttoo)

An Ode To Snooki’s Poof (R.I.P.)

When the VMAs rolled in, Snooki held court
Now we all know that she’s really quite short
But something was different the night of the fete
Something was up with this particular guidette

Gone was the Elvis-like mound of hair
Snooki’s monumental poof just wasn’t there

“…I want to look more mature,” she said
While we couldn’t stop staring at her empty head.
“The pouf—I’ve been wearing it since I was 16…”
But your hair was every guidette’s dream!
“So why not switch it up?” She pled.
While we couldn’t help but feel misled.

Snooki then said something that made sense
And left us feeling just a tad bit dense
The new haircut is way more guido,
Much like the Situation‘s libido.
It says so much about the Jersey Shore
(We can hear JWwow sayin, “who you callin’ a whore?”)
It explains the favorite pastime of the gang,
As Snooki put it, “Now I have bangs…”

by (@missmuttoo)

PETA Doesn’t Like Lady Gaga’s Meat Dress, Lady Gaga Doesn’t Really Care

By now, everyone is pretty aware of Lady Gaga‘s meat dress at the VMAs, right? It’s kinda hard to walk around looking like a giant steak and have people ignore you. The Franc Fernandez designed “dress” shocked, amazed, delighted, and as expected, ticked off quite a few people. A few probably thought it was a really great idea in case Gaga felt like having a bit of a snack. Peel off a strip and throw it on the BBQ!

But there’s a whole other side who now have beef (sorry, we had to do it) with everyone’s fave provocateur. Who expected PETA to get their non-meat pants into a twist? We did! And their statement didn’t disappoint, coming straight from the Prez of PETA, Ingrid E. Newkirk who elucidated with, “Lately, Lady Gaga has been having a hard time keeping her act ‘over the top’. Wearing a dress made out cuts of dead cows is offensive enough to bring comment, but someone should whisper in her ear that there are more people who are upset by butchery than who are impressed by it.”

Point made. But then she got to the meaty part (apologies again, we can’t help ourselves) saying, “Meat is the decomposing flesh of a tormented animal who didn’t want to die, and after a few hours under the TV lights, it would smell like the rotting flesh it is and likely be crawling in maggots — not too attractive, really.” Eww. Ewww. EWWW.

(Hi PETA, this is Ambika Muttoo from the FabLife. I’ve been vegetarian for a very long time (no seafood even, I promise) and I actually found that statement more gross than its subject. Actually… I didn’t find the dress gross at all because there’s this little thing called “free will” that you really can’t mess with. Thanks y’all! Big fan.)

So, with all the “decomposing” going on, Gaga sat down with Ellen DeGeneres to clear the air saying, “Well, it is certainly no disrespect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. As you know, I am the most judgment free human being on the earth…” We pause for a little giggle at that statement. Then she explained her meat dress, adding, “However, it has many interpretations, but for me this evening, if we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our bones. And, I am not a piece of meat.”

Preach!

by

Top 5 WTF Moments From The 2010 VMAs

Our eyes still haven’t quite adjusted after last night’s .

4. We give Lindsay Lohan a ton of credit for gamely making fun of herself during the opening segment of the show with Chelsea Handler by telling Handler, whose alcohol-monitoring anklet/Cheesecake Factory buzzer was set off, “Do you think anyone wants to work with a drunk? Take it from me, they don’t… Wake up Handler! Pull it together!” Every time we think she’s committed career suicide, she manages to win us back over somehow. She’s charming, that Lindsay. We seriously hope she keeps it together.

5. We might be the only ones who caught this (actually, someone else noticed too), but did you see when 30 Seconds To Mars was about to accept their award for Best Rock Video and the microphone girl tried to hand Jared Leo a mike to accept the award and he didn’t take it? Instead, he took one from one of the Jackass guys and, audibly, Microphone Girl, annoyed that her one and only job was rendered futile, said INTO the mike she was still holding “Well, that was retarded.” Way to go, Microphone Girl. Keepin’ it classy. Also, you’re mike is on.

[Photos: Getty Images/]

View Photo Gallery

by (@katespencer)

Lady Gaga’s VMA Outfits: The McQueen, The Meat And The Megadress

lagy-gaga-outfits-vmas-550x

We love when Lady Gaga gets teary-eyed and emotional when winning awards. We love when she shouts out her fans over and over again. But mostly we just love when she robs a butcher shop and wears her loot.

Clearly the woman is campaigning for the lead in “That’s Our Gaga!,” the new sitcom where she does the wacky things we’ve all come to expect – and love. Obviously she was going to rock Alexander McQueen hoof heels. Of course she’d wear a steak on her head. Obviously she’d take ten minutes to walk up four steps because her black rubber dresses weighs more than all the grenades The Situation has boned on Jersey Shore, combined.

But which VMA outfit was your favorite? We’re voting for meat dress because, well, duh, it’s a f*cking dress made of meat. But the black mohawk headdress could sway our vote. What say you?

View Photo Gallery

[Photo: Getty Images]