A-Holes

by (@unclegrambo)

The DirectTV Tooth Brushing Husband Is The Worst Person In America

If you or someone in your household has had your television turned to sports anytime in the last week, you’ve no doubt seen the latest commercial from DirectTV (see above), in which a horribly bedraggled man wearing the world’s worst bathrobe badgers his wife about the fact that he hasn’t gotten to see her naked in awhile. The spot is ostensibly about how you need to subscribe to DirectTV so you can avoid arguments over whose programs are taking up more space on the DVR, but we can’t help but wonder if an overloaded DVR is the least of this couple’s issues.

The spot is clearly targeted at men, as the protagonist of the spot is the aforementioned bathrobe enthusiast (that and the fact that the commercial seemingly only runs during sports). However, we would have a hard time believing that any individual of any gender would voluntarily identify with the loutish bathrobe-clad douche, what with his passive aggressive swipes about his lack of DirectTV, his downright disdain for his (sorta sexy) wifey, and his stunningly unattractive tooth brushing style. Is it any wonder that his wife would abstain from sexual relations with the poor man’s Rob Huebel, a guy who whines incessantly about the importance of “his” shows and wears flimsy bathrobes purchased from the clearance rack at an outlet mall? We can’t help but feel like a DirectTV Divorce is on the horizon for these two. Conflict boxes, indeed.

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by (@unclegrambo)

Let’s Make A Toast For The Douchebags, A-Holes and Scumbags

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Ever since the VMAs aired on Sunday night, everyone here at TheFABLife has been beyond obsessed with Kanye West‘s new song, “Runaway.” In particular, the song’s chorus of “Let’s make a toast for the douchebags / Let’s have a toast for the a-holes / Let’s have a toast for the scumbags / Every one of them that I know” has been ringing through our hallways all week long. This zeitgeist-grabbing chorus got us thinking about who are today’s biggest d-bags, a-holes and scumbags; so, of course, we compiled a list of the people that we would toast … with a giant mug of Haterade, of course! Below, you’ll find our Top Ten lists of celebrities whose boorish and obnoxious behavior landed them in one of these three groupings (and that includes you, Kanye!). Who did we miss?

DOUCHEBAGS: Michael Phelps / Jon Gosselin / Brandon Davis / Jared Leto / Dustin Diamond / Criss Angel / Christian Audigier / Brody Jenner / Dane Cook / Spencer Pratt

A-HOLES: Glenn Beck / Ashton Kutcher / Michael Bay / Gordon Ramsey / Sean Penn / Rush Limbaugh / Jay Leno / Chris Brown / John Mayer / Kanye West

SCUMBAGS: Steve-O / Tiki Barber / Joe Francis / Billy Crudup / Jesse James / Ben Roethlisberger / John Edwards / Tiger Woods / Mel Gibson / O.J. Simpson

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