There’s so much to this whole ridiculous Salahi-Journey incident that it reads like the best episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that you’ve ever seen. It’s complex, but darkly hilarious and inherently perfect. So please indulge us for a moment while we unpack it all for you and savor each and every detail. Maybe -just maybe- it’ll make you believe in karma. It’s the law of the universe: if you do something stupid like crash a White House party, a stadium rocker should send you obscene pictures.
As we told you earlier in the week, Tareq Salahi grew concerned when his wife Michaele didn’t return from a hair appointment, and became convinced that she had been kidnapped. It turns out she wasn’t kidnapped, but instead having a torrid affair with Journey guitarist, Neal Schon. Tareq was also friends with Neal, and had even filmed the rock star giving his wife a peck on the cheek over Labor Day weekend. So he understandably feels betrayed, and sought consolation from that big cuddly wad of compassion, Michael Lohan, who could never miss an opportunity to get back on TMZ.
Now Tareq has resolved to divorce his Real Housewife Of DC, but not before taking another humiliating slam at the hands of Neal Schon. In the most gorgeous display of immaturity we’ve ever seen, the Journey front-man tauntingly emailed Tareq pictures of his penis. Not only that, but he also revoked Tareq’s backstage passes to all Journey shows, banning him gigs with a series of posters at each venue! Tareq probably isn’t gonna feel the urge to rock out to ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ live anytime soon, but still. Never in the course of human history has a man be so completely and thoroughly pwned. The only way for Tareq to get the last laugh is if this whole thing is fake. In which case we say: thanks for the laughs Salahi’s! We never stopped believin’!
[Photo: Getty Images]
It’s been a whirlwind day for LeAnn Rimes and “other women” everywhere as news came that Editor-In-Chief Valerie Latona issued an apology for Rimes’ October Shape cover story. Responding to readers peeved over LeAnn’s story of adultery with current boyfriend Eddie Cibrian, Latona issued a statement explaining: “Please know that our putting her on the cover was not meant to put a husband-stealer on a pedestal-but to show (through her story) how we all are human. And this woman in particular found strength in exercise in what she said was her most difficult personal moment.” Remarkable that some readers wouldn’t like the idea of a toned, blond Grammy winner luring away someone’s husband and using a magazine article to talk about it. We mean, who doesn’t like a little betrayal with their reverse crunches?
Said Latona, the article “did not come across that way… And for that I’m terribly sorry.” If you recall, a married Rimes started dating Cibrian before he divorced his wife Brandi Glanville, leaving him torn between two women. Though given that Glanville was just arrested for DUI today, the decision between the two may not have been as emotionally grueling as we might think.
Latona has since backpedaled on her apology, insisting that, “The fact is a mere 40 readers out of almost 6 million readers wrote in to complain calling LeAnn a ‘husband stealer’ and a ‘terrible mistake for Shape.’ I wrote to those women apologizing that our cover choice did not make them happy – as I have done for other cover stars in the past.” Yikes, how many home wreckers has Shape had on their covers? That seems like a pretty specific niche to try and sell people.
Claims Latona, “My comments have been taken out of context. I used the words of the few unhappy readers who wrote in.” She continues, “I stand by the fact that LeAnn’s story is compelling – and her courage and strength in the face of so much adversity is compelling. That is why I put her on the cover of Shape for what is now the third time.” Thank you! Finally someone is coming out to acknowledge the struggle that all husband-stealers must face. It’s not easy to get in good enough shape to snatch a married man. We have to work at it. We mean…they have to work at it. They. Not us. [Photo: Getty Images]
rnrnWe’re not sure if Fantasia has any plans to release an album of cover songs like Clay Aiken recently did, but if she ever does, you can probably bet that she won’t be including renditions of “Afternoon Delight”, “Secret Lovers” or any other odes to the joys of infidelity. That’s because the former American Idol winner was named as the “other woman” in legal documents filed by a Charlotte woman named Paula Cook relating to her impending divorce from a man named Antwuan Cook.rnrnAccording to papers obtained by Charlotte area television station WCNC, Cook alleges that Fantasia not only stole the man that fathered her two children, but also “have, at times, recorded their illicit sexual activity.” Yikes! In Fantasia’s defense, these are merely accusations at this point; it doesn’t appear that the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Cook has these tapes in her possession. That said, Fantasia has been photographed proudly showing off a tattoo that reads “Cook” (see above). And, as far as we know, she doesn’t have any plans to become the next Rachael Ray, so read into that tattoo what you will. This story is, of course, developing, and we’ll continue to keep you posted with more details as they become available.rnrnRelated: Fantasia For Real Bonus Clip, “Fantasia Discusses Her Overdose”rnrn[Photo: Getty Images]