Last week’s premiere of American Horror Story: Asylum left me with a lot to mull over. From Lana Winters’ institutionalization at Briarcliff Manor to Dr. Arden’s experiments on Kit Walker, there were many questions to be answered and new back stories to fill in. “Tricks and Treats” didn’t further the plot as much as delve deeper into characters introduced in the premiere and welcome some new terrifying patients to Briarcliff. We learn more about why Sister Jude is such a bitter, cruel person — she just wanted to entertain the troops! — and are introduced to psychiatrist Dr. Oliver Thredson (Zachary Quinto!). AHS would never need an episode entirely dedicated to Halloween, since it always is such a fright fest. Still, “Tricks and Treats” had some particularly disturbing and sadistic moments for the holiday that left me clutching my pillow for dear life (go on, laugh), which is why I am recapping this episode with the Top 5 Screamtastic Moments.
Scream 1 – The episode opens with Winters’ lover Wendy and friends worried over Lana’s institutionalization at Briarcliff Manor. She misses her dearly and says, “Nothing makes sense without her.” Aww. They’re all trying to find ways to release her from Briarcliff, but can’t seem to find a solution. However, it already appears someone is listening to their thoughts. (Hmmm…could someone be following them?) After Wendy’s friends have left and she gets out of the shower (a clever nod to Pyscho), she walks through her house only to find that Freddy-like monster from last episode lurking in her hallway. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like Wendy makes it out of this episode…her students will probably have study hall all day tomorrow. Read more…
*Spoiler alert* You are in love with American Horror Story: Asylum star Evan Peters. Okay, so maybe we’re doing what our therapist might call “projecting,” but we certainly aren’t the only ones who think he’s a spooky dreamboat. “It was pretty cool that they liked Tate, and they seem to like Kit, too, which is good. Yeah, I checked out Tumblr,” Peters tells Vulture about keeping his fans for season two. But in case some of them weren’t convinced, he adds, “There’s a lot of my butt up there this year, which I was a little nervous about.” Us too! That must be why our hands are shaking uncontrollably and we’re panting like an exhausted hell hound.
Actually, if you’ve seen last week’s episode (or tonight’s. Screeners, baby!), you know we’re two for two for Evan’s Butt. Laughs the actor, “I have a great picture of me naked on a bed just wearing a c— sock, and the crew is all around me, bored. We were all waiting for a film roll or a lens to arrive. So I’m just sitting around naked on the bed and everyone’s so nonchalant. It was really weird for me, like, ‘Man, this is awkward.’ ” Man, we are not normally this butt crazed, but come on. Come on.
If you aren’t watching American Horror Story: Asylum yet, you really need to get your DVR in gear. It’s got aliens, Jessica Lange in a nun’s habit, serial killers, Jessica Lange in lingerie, mutants and, most importantly, Evan Peters‘ butt. Uh, guh, we mean, Evan Peters! (Though you do totally see his butt.) If you are already a fan (and currently hyperventilating in anticipation of how sick the Halloween episode is undoubtedly going to be), you’ll be pleased to know your spooky boyfriend is keeping it unsettling in his new Tyler Shields video, clutching his lady friend Betsy…who happens to be a horrible, sad blow-up doll. Evan later compares his relationship to interracial marriage and licks gloopy peanut butter of Betsy’s glassy, staring face. Yup! It’s exactly as upsetting as you’d think it would be!
Peters’ actual flesh-and-blood girlfriend Emma Roberts also cameos for a little face-sucking, so clearly she appreciates Evan’s commitment to being perturbing. (We also like the nod to Silence of the Lambs with the song choice. Classic!) Man, has any guy been so cute and so skin-crawling at the same time? If only we too were filled with air and had a face like a sexed-up Mary Worth!
American Horror Story’s second season, “Asylum”, premiered last night with with more scares, sex, and mystery than ever. While returning cast members like Jessica Lange and Evan Peters are back in full creepy mode, there are many new faces to this season, which can only mean new characters to enter into the twisted world that is Ryan Murphy’s imagination. Among the new cast includes Maroon 5 front man Adam Levine! In honor of his smooth transition from the soulful crooner to brooding actor, we are recapping this season’s premiere episode with corresponding Maroon 5 songs because, come on, some of these dark characters might just need a bit of upbeat rhythm in their lives!