American Idol

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The New Idol Judges Are Already Working Hard To Crush Dreams

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We won’t actually get to see the fruits of  their labor until January 2011, but the new American Idol judges have already been put to work tearing apart the latest crop of hopefuls. This photo of them on the set at a New Jersey audition yesterday was Tweeted by producer Nigel Lythgoe who wrote “It’s great to be back on American Idol. The judges were great.”

While some blogs have noticed that Randy Jackson is now occupying Simon Cowell‘s old spot, we think Randy, as the most senior-ranking judge at this point has tenure and deserves it. This means that Tyler gets Randy’s seat, so he’ll have to fill the “inoffensive, sometimes pandering, often nonsensical jibberish” judging role, while Lopez, seated in the center, will fill the “I’m just a dancer with a singing career, listen to my inoffensive, sometimes pandering, often nonsensical jibberish” judge quota. And just like Elijah, the producers had the good sense to leave Kara DioGuardi‘s seat empty.

[Photo: Plixi/Nigel Lythgoe]

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Crystal Bowersox Is Engaged

Proving once again that the life of an American Idol runner-up is more intriguing than the life of the actual winner, we have a happy report today regarding season nine’s Crystal Bowersox. It was announced this weekend that Mama Sox is engaged!

Bowersox had a very public breakup with her boyfriend Tony just before the American Idol finale, but since the show ended she’s had a productive and positive summer, snagging a record deal and dealing with her snaggle tooth. Her engagement to musician Brian Walker is just one more bit of good news to add to the list. While the couple has only dated for a few months,  Walker and Bowersox appear to have known each other for at least year, having performed together at local shows in Chicago before Bowersox hit the big time on Idol. Congrats, guys!

by (@missmuttoo)

Jennifer Lopez Schools Her American Idol Ex-Husband Yet Again

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American Idol is like a functioning democracy. Just about anybody can audition (online, too!) Well, everybody… except Ojani Noa, aka newbie judge, Jennifer Lopez‘s first ex-husband!

Here’s the background. Noa wanted to audition this year. Because all he really really wants to do is sing! It has nothing to do with the fact that his famous ex-wife is a judge now. And shame on you for eve thinking that! And the fact that he wanted to sing one of J.Lo’s songs at the audition… pure coincidence, that’s all.

But the triple threat star isn’t taking any chance with Noa, considering he just wanted to distribute an, apparently, raunchy tape of both of them. Curses… foiled again! Because Jennifer has banned Noa from auditioning. Hell, she’s  banned him from even showing up, as a source revealed, “Jennifer got Fox to make sure that the screeners at the auditions would not let Ojani anywhere near the auditions. Fox made it clear that he was not welcome and that he could be arrested if he showed up so  he backed-out at the last minute.”

Maybe Noa should look at some Justin Timberlake material instead. We have just the song for him…it’s called Cry me a River. [Photo: Getty Images]

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File Under “News We Already Knew”: J. Lo And Steven Tyler Are Your Idol Judges

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Well, it only took months of speculation, one “firing“, one “un-firing” and several contract negotiations, but we now have confirmation that Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are definitely our new American Idol judges.

It was “revealed” in a  press conference today, where Ryan Seacrest kicked off by saying “We are looking for the next star in music. We usually ask, who will be the next American Idol? We never asked this question, who will be the next judges on American Idol?” And then, in a puff of smoke reminiscent of Spinal Tap, Lopez and Tyler made their entrance on the stage, joining their fellow judge Randy Jackson and ending all speculation. And then, just as you’d expect, they each gave a statement riddled with clichés. First, Tyler said ” I want to bring some rock to this roller coaster.” For reals. Then Lopez said to no one in particular “It is about concentrating in the moment, do the best you can. Just live! Just live, it’s your moment.”And not to be left out, Jackson yelled “I am calling season 10 the remix, baby!” Because it’s the same, but different, dawg!

So with that, let the search for the next Lee DeWyze begin!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

American Idol Wants You, Online Weirdos!

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American Idol is going through a major overhaul (probably to save their consistently dropping ratings). First up was the judge exodus with Kara DioGuardi being given the boot. Then they upped the caliente factor signing on Jennifer Lopez for the mucho caliente price of $12 million. And now, the show’s finally decided to take a tentative step into the 21st century.

American Idol will now allow singers to audition online on MySpace. Apparently, the gimmick is to celebrate the show’s 10th season. The rules are that AI aspirants must pick a song from a pre-approved list, and warble the entire tune a capella. Approved contestants will then go to L.A for callbacks.

Meh. With Simon gone, there’s no fun watching a disastrous audition anyway. And they’ve given newbie judges J.Lo and Steven Tyler the biggest gift of all, apart from increasing their bazillions. They’ve given them the power of the immediate “delete.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jennifer Lopez Is Back In At Idol And Making A Cool $12 Million

Jennifer Lopez and American Idol are like television’s new Ross and Rachel. Will they or won’t they get together? Well, today’s news is that they will.

Lopez is rumored to have signed a deal with producers for a $12 million salary today. Turns out that those diva demands Lopez made which allegedly “got out of hand” weren’t so terrible after all. Though it appears that Lopez wanted film and TV development deals in addition to her salary, she was happy with what they counter-offered and made it official just in time for auditions, which have already begun. Thank God, because if we had to sit through Randy Jackson critiquing auditions alone we’d claw our own eyes and ears out.

Even though Paula Abdul is ancient history, it’s interesting to note that her asking price last season was also $12 million, and producers refused it. Personally, we think she would have been worth it. What do you think – is J. Lo more valuable than Paula, or is this whole thing just a sign that the show is going down the crapper?

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Kara DioGuardi Tries To Save Face, Is All “I Was Gonna Quit Idol Anyway!”

It’s no secret that Kara DioGuardi is our least favorite person American Idol judge, and we weren’t sad to see her get canned from the series. But DioGuardi, whose father says she found out she was fired after reading it in the paper, is now claiming that she intended to leave the show anyway and tried to quit Idol two months before she was let go. We are admittedly only doubtful of this because we have a personal vendetta against her (if you want fair and balanced Idol coverage you’ll have to go elsewhere, we have a passionate love/hate relationship with this show) but honestly, this just seems like a lame attempt to save face.

We don’t doubt that this could be true, but what we have a problem with is making it public just to be like “Guys, seriously, I didn’t even want to be on this show anymore.” DioGuardi isn’t a born television personality. She should just go back to writing decent pop songs while living in obscurity, we’d all be thrilled with that plan. She doesn’t need to make the public like her or think she was already over Idol in the first place. It’s cool, Kara – go help Ke$ha write something halfway tolerable, lord knows she could use you.

by (@unclegrambo)

Idol Producers To J.Lo: You’re Fired, Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Ass On Your Way Out

17289078rnConsidering the size of Jennifer Lopez’s most famous asset, that might be a difficult task, but that’s apparently of little concern to the producers of American Idol. According to a just-published People report, the show’s braintrust has already decided that the temperamental diva is more hassle than she’s worth and will be moving in a different direction with their judges during the 10th (and quite possibly final) season of the show. Despite the fact that Deadline.com reported that Lopez had “closed [her] deal” to appear as a judge on the popular franchise, People reports that the deal was never inked and that “Fox had just had enough” with Lopez, whose “demands got out of hand.” Wow!rnrnCan Jennifer Lopez pull out of her career nosedive? Who will Idol producers get to replace her? Is Brian Dunkleman getting his hopes up that 2011 will be his year? All of this, as you might expect, is developing…

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American Idol Turns Into The Golden Girls As Top 10 Obsess Over Cheesecake

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Ellen DeGeneres quit Idol? Jennifer Lopez got hired? Who cares? Not last season’s top ten, they had more important things to discuss like the cheesecake they were stuffing into their faces yesterday in honor of National Cheesecake Day.

The gang (minus one diabetic Crystal Bowersox – how rude, right? – and Tim Urban, who was busy combing his bangs) snacked on some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Chocolate Cake Cheesecake (Oh, God yes) yesterday in Virginia Beach to promote the healthy benefits of eating a slice of cheesecake every day (just kidding, it was to support Feeding America and promote the new Reese’s flavor at the Cheesecake Factory). If we had known this was a perk of the job, we would have auditioned for American Idol years ago.

[Photo: Getty Images]