It seems like America’s Got Talent is taking a tip from the new American Idol/X Factor/The Voice school of casting: Pick lady judges with advanced degrees in making headlines, regardless of their proven record of discovering talent or anything topical like that. TMZ reports that to fill the spot vacated by Sharon Osbourne — who left because she thinks NBC dropped son Jack from a show after he revealed his MS diagnosis — AGT is considering Shannen Doherty, LeAnn Rimes and Carly Simon. We certainly would enjoy seeing Shannen or LeAnn bring their, er, opinionated ways to verdicts on juggling acts, dance troupes and adorable pint-size singers. They don’t even need those giant X lights anymore; they’d just need a withering glare or the absence thereof. Carly Simon we’re not so sure of. As far as our knowledge of her goes, her headlines have all had to do with her romantic exploits of the 1970s, but maybe some boomers out there can fill us in on some other things she did to stir up controversy back in the day?
Incidentally, NBC’s spokesperson told TMZ they have no actual list of potential judges, so this could be wild speculation. Still, we want to know if a good bitchface is enough to draw you to the show?
Who knew reality TV could cause such heartache? Other than anyone who’s seen The Challenge: Battle of the Exes? Earlier today Sharon Osbourne declared that she’s leaving America’s Got Talent, alleging that NBC fired her son Jack Osbourne from a new reality show due to his multiple sclerosis diagnosis. “I just can’t be fake,” Sharon told the New York Post. “It’s discrimination, and it was badly handled.”
Apparently Ozzy’s son was scheduled to appear on the upcoming Stars Earn Stripes, a show in which celebs take on military training exercises. According to Sharon, the show dumped Jack two days before he was set to film…after he publicly discussed his illness. “They can’t make me do something I don’t want to do,” she says of her departure. “All they can do is stop me from being a judge on another network for five years.” Joke’s on you, NBC! In five years, everything on TV will be a reality show. Sharon will be judging who Wants To Be The Vice President Of The United States? in 2020, and laughing all the way to the space bank!
Note to the easily humiliated: you will cringe during this post. As you might have read earlier this week, some particularly fishy information emerged about America’s Got Talent contestant Timothy Poe. For example, the singer apparently did not receive the Purple Heart for grenade injuries sustained while serving in Afghanistan as he had claimed. In fact, the Texas crooner might not have actually sustained significant brain injuries at all. The singer also inexplicably submitted a photo of another soldier for the show to air during his segment, which begs the question: why would anyone in their right mind do that? Did he not know other people can see with their eyes? Sgt. Norman Bone eventually came forward and identified himself as the man in the image, an image which had been publicly available on the U.S. Department of Defense website. We’re already so embarrassed for everyone involved, we could barely type that sentence.
America needs someone to crush its silly dreams, and Howard Stern is just the man to do it! With Piers Morgan moving on from NBC’s prime-time talent show America’s Got Talent, shock-jock Stern has been tapped to help kill the hopes of delusional tap-dancing jugglers everywhere as a judge. “Howard Stern’s larger-than-life personality will bring a thrilling new dynamic to America’s Got Talent starting this summer,” said NBC’s Paul Telegdy, adding, “Plus we all love seeing people almost cry on TV, right? Right?”
However, seeing as how SiriusXM host Stern has built his career around filthy jokes, porn-star interviews and filthy joking porn-star interviews, it comes as no surprise that some people wouldn’t want their kids watching him destroy mime magicians on NBC, as hilarious as it will probably be. “The once-proud broadcast network has lost its way and has made it clear it holds no concern whatsoever for children and families,” the Parents Television Council told TMZ in a statement. What do you think? Is hiring Stern a genius move, or will he be even more off-putting to watch than Gymkana, that AGT gymnastics group that caught on fire?
Ahoy! Pirate in a Pontiac off the port bow! David Hasselhoff blew minds in London today by posing in pirate garb with his old friend/car KITT from his Knight Rider days. The reunion took place as the Hoff made his way to rehearse a Christmas pantomime show, in which he is plays (naturally) evil Captain Hook. Is this photo-op the worst thing to happen to Peter Pan since the film Hook? We’ll let you decide.
Perhaps he’s trying to drum up interest in his A&E reality show Hasselhoffs, which debuted on Sunday to miniscule audiences and bad reviews. Will the critics ever stop hassling the Hoff? (we’re contractually obligated to make that joke) In fact, the TV legend might even jump ship and head over to Britain’s Got Talent. A year after leaving America’s Got Talent, Hasselhoff is reportedly in talks to continue his old job as talent judge on British television. Why doesn’t he just pitch a series about a crime fighting pirate and his tricked out Trans Am? It’s gotta be better than Hasselhoffs.
[Photo: Splash News Online]