We do love it that plenty of celebrities were fearless enough to try out really avant-garde fashions at the Met Gala. But here’s the thing: there’s a big difference between avant-garde and just plain bad. A lot of reasons why the designs failed on some of these stars was because they were ill-fitting. Eva Mendes‘ peplum tangerine Prada gown may have looked great on her, had she paid more attention to the silhouette. She just ended up looking boxy because of the bottom half of the gown. It’s the same with Mary-Kate Olsen. She looked completely swamped because of her heavy black, long-sleeved The Row gown. Christina Ricci, also as tiny as Mary-Kate, also had the same problem. Her Thakoon dress looked like it was eating her alive. Then there was Jessica Biel whose Prada cocktail frock was not just ill-fitting, but completely boring.
Then there were some designs which were just … no. Chloe Sevigny in her Miu Miu frock, for instance. It looked like the whole thing was mad of vinyl discs sewn together. Perhaps, a black slip underneath would have rescued it. Florence Welch wore an Alexander McQueen which we can’t describe. It looks entirely made of poufs. And then there was Anja Rubik in a white-slashed Anthony Vaccarello. This is not the setting in which to reveal your hip-bone, lady! The piece de resistance was Marc Jacobs, whose entire outfit consisted of a pair of silk boxers, a long black lace sheath and buckled shoes. You’ll have to head on to the gallery to see for yourself.
UPDATE (6:25pm): Sorry Dave Letterman, but the cover’s been spoiled. If you want to know who landed it, we’ve got the winner after the jump.
While the 2011 Oscars won’t be held for another few weeks, tomorrow is the day that’s known in supermodel circles as the “Bikini Oscars.” Yes, that’s right, the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue hits newsstands tomorrow, marking a day that is loathed by shrewish librarians, dreaded by cashiers at drugstores nationwide, and revered by horny dudes the world over.
Sure, the widespread prevalence of internet porn has stolen some of the luster away from what used to be regarded as the Fourth of July for masturbators, but that doesn’t mean that Sports Illustrated has lost its power to turn famous, barely clothed supermodels into slightly MORE famous, barely clothed supermodels. Take, for instance, Brooklyn Decker, who went from being a really hot bikini model in print magazines to being a really hot bikini model in major motion pictures after she landed the cover last year! If that isn’t proof positive that landing the cover of of the Swimsuit Issue can change a gorgeous young woman’s life, I don’t know what is.
So, with that said, who will be this year’s Brooklyn Decker? Take a highly unscientific, wildly biased and possibly offensive look at the seventeen candidates for the crown in our FABLife gallery below. Will it be the woman who escorted Lady Gaga to the Grammys in an egg yesterday, Anne V? Could former Victoria’s Secret model Izabel Goulart end up being the face that launched a thousand boners? Or will Brooklyn Decker be a repeat winner, putting her well on her way towards being this generation’s Elle MacPherson? WE! DON’T! KNOW!