by (@JordanRuntagh)

Tori Spelling Gives Birth To A Daughter

Here’s what we think happened: Tori Spelling heard about the birth of Johnny Knoxville’s daughter last week, so not to be outdone she kicked her pregnancy into overdrive. That’s how it works, right? In any event, Tori and her husband Dean McDermott welcomed a new member to their family yesterday morning! “Our family’s so happy 2 announce [that on] 10/10/11  baby girl Hattie Margaret McDermott was born at 7:08am! Xoxo,” the new mother tweeted. She also attached a squee-inducing photo of the little bundle’s feet. The couple announced that they were “expecting” back in April, but vowed not to learn the gender of the baby until the big day. In addition to the newborn, the reality show stars have a 3-year old daughter Stella and a 4-year-old son Liam, as well as Dean’s teenage son Jack from a previous marriage. Congrats!

[Photo: Getty/Twitter]

by (@hallekiefer)

Selena Gomez And The Biebs Channel Their Inner Brangelina

How amazing would it be to be rich and famous enough to rent adorable chubbular infants at your leisure? “Hey girl, let’s go hang out at the park and have a picnic. I’ll bring, I don’t know, half a dozen assorted babues?” We won’t even pretend we aren’t squee-ingly jealous of this Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez baby photo, which Biebs posted to InstaBieber. Look at those cute smiles and teeny little outfits. And the babies look cute too! “Brangelina 2.0 hahahahahaha,” Justin joked under the picture. Oh man, Justin, you are fulfilling so many people’s fantasies. And destroying so, so many more.

[Photo: InstaBieber]

by (@hallekiefer)

Winona Ryder Wants Babies, Is Mistrustful Of Men: It’s A Catch-22!


Oh Winona, love of our ’90s life, how we’ve missed you. After an amazing turn in Black Swan, Winona Ryder opens up about what’s going on in her life…including her romantic situation. While Ryder is “knock on wood” hoping to have kids, “I remember being at this bar called Tosca in San Francisco, and I met this guy one night. He was really cute, and we were talking, and then, like, he just said something about how he had always had a crush on me. And I was suddenly mistrustful about why he was talking to me. I wanted to be just a normal girl flirting with a normal guy. It’s like you meet people, and they know this stuff about you,” Ryder says. Winona just wants guys to know the real, kleptomaniacal her. Is that so wrong?

Winona also delves into why she hasn’t made as many films in recent years. “If I don’t relate to the [project], even if it’s something that I should do, it’s hard for me to say yes. I’m the type who’d rather not work than work on something I’m not into. I’ve done that a couple of times, and I feel like I can totally see it in my performance.” So why in the name of Kevin James will she be starring in The Dilemma with Vince “Electric cars are gay” Vaughn? Winona might still be one of our favorite actresses, but let’s put it this way: once someone dates Tom Green, we can never really trust their judgment again. [Photo: Getty Images]


Levi Ironically Can’t Be Contained Inside His Levi’s

Obvious alert: Levi Johnston can’t keep it in his pants! But you already knew that, little Tripp Palin-Johnston is evidence of that fact. It’s just that Bristol Palin isn’t the only girl in Wasilla, Alaska that Levi persuaded to go on a bareback journey to ecstasy with. While he and Bristol were “on a break” a few months ago, Levi took up with one of his old girlfriends, Lanesia Garcia. Garcia became pregnant, but because this is Wasilla, meth capital of the U.S.A. and where trashy people wind up, Garcia isn’t sure if Levi is the baby’s father.

This saga could not get any better, no matter how much we want it to. No word on when and if a paternity test will be done, but we wonder, did Bristol and Levi hammer out that reality show yet? Because this could be some exciting television right there.


Beyonce’s Dad Will Gladly Submit To DNA Test


Looks like Matthew Knowles, Beyoncé‘s father and manager, seems to be going a little John Edwards on us. First he admitted to being engaged in an extramarital affair, and now his mistress has just given birth and claims the child is his, which he denies. If this plays out like the Edwards scandal, eventually the truth will come out and Knowles will have yet another child’s career to manage. For now though, he’s denying paternity and has offered to take a DNA to prove it.

Knowles told E! News that, despite the lengthy affair (which we assume was a cause of Knowles’ divorce from wife Tina last year) and despite all the, you know, doin’ it, he has no idea what’s going on with this kid. “I know about as much as you do,” he told the news outlet. “Last week, they said it was a girl; this week they said it was a boy. We do have a court date, but none of that means anything until DNA testing is done.” E! News actually appears to know more than Knowles, confirming that the child is a boy. The child’s mother, Alexsandra Wright, is seeking someone who can pay her for her telephone bills, automobills, and child-supportamobills.

[Photo: Getty Images]


John Edwards Fesses Up To Fathering Love Child


If the Democrats in our country weren’t having a bad enough week already, John Edwards is going to make it that much worse right now. Edwards is finally coming clean and admitting that he fathered Rielle Hunter‘s baby while campaigning in 2007. Also in 2007? Edwards’ wife Elizabeth‘s second bout with breast cancer and their decision to renew their wedding vows on their 30th anniversary. Way to make it a banner year, John.

In a statement released today, Edwards came clean about the child who is now 2 years old:

“I am Quinn’s father. I will do everything in my power to provide her with the love and support she deserves. I have been able to spend time with her during the past year and trust that future efforts to show her the love and affection she deserves can be done privately and in peace. It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me. I have been providing financial support for Quinn and have reached an agreement with her mother to continue providing support in the future. To all those I have disappointed and hurt these words will never be enough, but I am truly sorry.”

Elizabeth Edwards and others close to the former presidential candidate have known since last summer about the paternity, but this is the first public admission of it. This week is starting to feel like Bizarro world what with Cindy McCain protesting Prop 8 in California, Massachusetts electing a Republican senator, and now a formerly admirable politician admitting he’s just as sketchy as the next pro-golfer. It’s too bad late night comedian’s are so busy skewering each other, they could have a field day with this. [Photo: Getty Images]


Amy Winehouse Thinks Blake’s Baby Is Amazing, Wants Twins


Amy Winehouse has discovered that her soon-to-be-ex husband Blake Incarcerated is having a baby with a heroin addict, but her reaction is well, not your usual. The ever-unique Amy managed to combine understandable rage and anger (apparently beating her chest repeatedly) with garbled pronouncements of happiness and that it’s all she ever wanted. Come again?

“All I wanna know and all I need to know is that my baby is having a baby. I never talk to him, I’m never going to see him again but we’re like best friends. I have to cut him out of my life because he has to cut me out…So me and Blake can’t be friends but you know what? He’s having a kid and that is amazing,” she says.

Amazing! But Amy doesn’t want to miss out on the baby boom herself. “My turn now, my turn now! Come on! Twins you know! I’ve got loads of twins in my family, I need to have twins. I want a big family. Twin boys first, two girls and then a baby after that can be a boy or a girl. I want it so much.” As this comes after she spent three days in hospital following an alcohol-induced collapse, we’d advise not to plan it too soon … [Photo: Splash News Online]


Sharon Stone Loses Physical Custody Of Son

Sharon Stone lost physical custody of her 8-year-old son on Tuesday, after attempting to modify a previous joint agreement with her ex-husband Phil Bronstein. Phil will retain sole physical custody of Roan Joseph Bronstein, who was adopted a week after his birth. The court ruled that Phil “can provide a more structured continuity, stable, secure and consistent home for the child.” Oh, don’t be so hard on Sharon. THIS looks pretty stable, secure, and consistent. [ Photo:Getty]