Baby Bumps

by (@hallekiefer)

Who Do You Think You’re Fooling, Jessica Simpson?

Girrrrrrrrrl, we’d say the jig is up. Rumors of Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy have been swirling for quite a while now, though so far Simpson has remain silent on the issue. Her gigantic abdomen, however, speaks volumes. Unless Jessica has eaten all the sandwiches everywhere, we have to suspect that there is a teeny, tiny future reality star/singer on the way, and soon! Of course, last week the New York Post alleged that Jessica Simpon’s baby bump will remain on the DL until she lands a $500,000 deal to publish the first photos of the baby. Some reports say OK! is paying up, but we still haven’t heard any confirmation. At this rate, Jessica’s going to be signing the paperwork when her water breaks! And that, friends, is just bad business.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Beyonce Steps Out With New Bangs, Babyonce On Board

If we haven’t made it explicitly clear yet, if and when we get pregnant we are going to rock sweatpants and a greasy ponytail until we can squeeze that sucker out. Because that is our right. Beyonce‘s pregnant and she somehow keeps. getting. flyer. New Beyonce photos show Bey out in New York City today, rocking new blond blunt-cut bangs, burgeoning baby bump and, we’re assuming, banging baby bangs. Well, maybe not that last one. Though..if any fetus was able to grow fierce hair, you know it would be Babyonce.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Beyonce’s Maternity Line: For The Pregnant And Fabulous

Beyonce’s baby bump has been the topic of much conversation recently. How many more blog inches would it earn if it was, say, covered in Swarovski crystals or draped with golden scales? Hopefully we’ll find out, now that Beyonce’s maternity line for House of Dereon is on the way. “All I see now are clothes that are flattering on a pregnant woman,” she told Harper’s Bazaar. “It’s been so exciting for me!” Let’s hope Bey’s still as excited when her abdomen starts looking better than she does. Then it can have it’s own line and call it…what, Bump-yonce? Sasha Fetus?

Not included in the new line, we’re assuming, is the baggy dress that had rumors of a fake Beyonce baby bump swirling yesterday. Says Bey, “I love figuring out designs that still make me feel edgy and sexy while pregnant. Flowy fabrics are always flattering but I still rock my stilettos.” With any luck her designs will come out before Babyonce does. Though…do you think a nursing bra would look good with epaulets? What are we saying? If Beyonce‘s wearing it, of course it would!

by (@hallekiefer)

Beyonce’s Fake Baby Bump Rumors Are “Stupid,” Says Rep

Rumors about Beyoncé’s fake baby bump are greatly exaggerated, according to the “Countdown” singer’s rep Yvette Noel-Schure, who told ABC that speculation from those doubting the size, consistency and contents of Bey’s abdomen was “stupid, ridiculous and false.” It is also “everywhere” as far as we can tell, spread by many who have peeped the video that started the scuttlebutt.

Buzz about the state of Babyonce began when Bey stopped by the Australian show Sunday Night HD this week for an interview. Video of Bey taking her seat shows her midsection crumpling in a seemingly un-fetus-filled way. While we for one can’t say what had her middle looking like a deflated basketball (like every dress should fit like a wet suit when you’re pregnant?), we’re inclined to agree with Ms. Noel-Schure. Not only has Beyoncé popped up around town looking consistently pregnant, we can’t even imagine why she would go through the trouble of stuffing her bump. After watching the video, what do you think?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@hallekiefer)

January Jones Takes Her Bump To The Tonight Show, Baby Daddy Rumors Swirl

We know it’s all been said before: blah blah January Jones is beautiful yadda yadda yadda. That being said, these January Jones baby bump photos are making us feel guilty about wearing sweatpants all day, when we aren’t even lugging around an extra person in our abdomen. Not so guilty that we’re going to change pants, but super close.

Meanwhile, several blind items have hinted that the alleged identity of January Jones baby daddy is Matt Vaughn, director of X-Men: First Class. The only problem? Vaughn is still very much married to Claudia Schiffer. E! postulated the connection after several sources reported the director and star had a “very close” relationship on-set, and the director skipped yesterday’s New York screening. Vaughn denied fathering Jones’ child or carrying on an affair through his representation when asked. Whoever the father is, her X-Men: First Class cast mates have no doubt January will be a great mama. “She’s a fantastic person. She’s very sweet. Just in the experience of working with her, she sort of gets up and gets on with it, and I think she’ll probably do the same in motherhood,” Michael Fassbender told US Magazine. January Jones: getting up and getting on like a champ!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@hallekiefer)

January Jones Busts Out The Baby Bump For L.A. Crowd

We’re always amazed at how celebrities can conceal their baby bumps until the exact second they announce their pregnancies. Then bam! Instant belly. Those gigantic purses do more than just to hold their stacks of hundreds. Less than a week after announcing her pregnancy, January Jones‘ baby bump made an appearance among the many, many celebrities at the Lakers game on Monday. While the identity of January Jones’ baby daddy remains a mystery for now, it’s pretty clear the Mad Men star and her off-spring are going to have a hard time avoiding public scrutiny. Though if you have to lose your privacy when you become a celebrity, you might as well get floor seats out of the deal.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@unclegrambo)

Celebrity Baby Bump Flaunters: From The Prudish To The Shameless

When we saw pregnant Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak posing for the cover of In Touch Weekly wearing what looked to be a hand-me down bra and a weird pair of sheer panties last week, we immediate thought to ourselves, “That woman has no shame!” After the shock wore off, we began thinking: A) What other celebrities have flaunted their baby bumps on the cover of national magazines and B) Was their pursuit of fame more naked than their actual bodies?

Well, as we discovered during an intense round of research, there are two types of celebrities who use their unborn children to score themselves more publicity: the Prudes and the Shameless. Not every pregnant celebrity wants to pull a Demi Moore, you see. Some, like Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Celine Dion, don’t want to offend their base by showing too much skin. Others, like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, clearly see Moore’s famous Vanity Fair cover as a necessary (and fun!) step in advancing one’s career and deem it necessary to push cultural boundaries. So, what do your favorite celebrities score on either the Prude Meter™ or Shameless Meter™? There’s only way to find out!

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