Bel Ami

by (@shalapitcher)

Robert Pattinson’s New Bel Ami Clip Is Making Us Crack Up

Oh, what won’t Robert Pattinson do for his craft? He’s braved some terrible Pacific Northwest weather for Twilight, given up junk food for those Breaking Dawn honeymoon scenes, wore that ridiculous Dali mustache for Little Ashes and now, thanks to a new clip on MTV, we see the ultimate sacrifice he made for Bel Ami: He wore the world’s most unflattering pair of long underwear. We see why this was necessary, of course. RPattz is playing a young man in 19th century Paris who uses sex to climb out of his peasant status and into high society. We’re not historians, but we’re pretty sure there was no such thing as boxer-briefs or ab workouts in 19th century Paris. Elastic was invented in the mid-1800s but was a long way from working its way into waistbands. And we are wasting lots of words here instead of showing you what we meant to. All the different angles of these terrible bloomers that make poor Rob look like he has no butt and yet also manage to show off his coin slot (scroll down for the piece de resistance). We’re really, really sorry about this. To be fair, he also got to make out with Christina Ricci, Uma Thurman and Kristin Scott Thomas. So, that probably evened things out.
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by (@hallekiefer)

Robert Pattinson Gets His Seduction On In Bel Ami Trailer

We’re beginning to suspect that there’s a think tank of the nation’s top scientists dedicated solely to making the perfect Robert Pattinson movie. That’s what we have to assume after watching the trailer for his upcoming film Bel Ami, due out March 2 of next year. Rob’s scruff alone is worth the price of admission.

From what we can tell, this movie has everything: rakish smiles, beautiful period costumes complete with classy underpants, angry shouting Uma Thurman, Robert Pattinson seducing older wealthy socialites in what appears to be a series of nonstop sex scenes. Oh, and the hats!  There must be a chalkboard somewhere covered in a formula combining all of these amazing elements and, in front of it, a scientist weeping with exhausted joy. Well-played, Doctor. Your legacy will live on forever…or at least until Breaking Dawn-Part 2 hits theaters.

by (@katespencer)

Toast Rob Pattinson’s 24th Birthday With 24 of His Most Ridiculous Faces

rpattzfacesnew

We’ve seen enough sexy Robert Pattinson photos to know that he’s the hottest man alive, now and forever (forever because he’s also a vampire and can’t die unless the Volturi kill him and we all know – okay, we’ll shut up). We’ve even sat two feet across from the guy during a Remember Me interview and let us tell you, if a human being could morph into a vibrator, he would be it. Girl boners abound!

But we also spend enough time (ie: every waking moment) looking at him to know he takes some hilariously fugly photos. While Taylor Lautner moves like a bottle of botox, RPattz just can’t stop smirking, grinning, gawking and guffawing awkwardly. Says our intern Nicki, who gathered the magnificent photos below, “I don’t understand how an actor has no control over his face.. isn’t that a part of the job ?” She speaks the truth, which only leads us to wonder…if he can’t reign it in on the red carpet, what does his face look like when he’s bedding his own personal Bella Swan? Moving on…

Today is Rob’s 24th birthday! (Squeals and golf claps.) And since we celebrated KStew’s birthday with some snapshots of that iconic Kristen Stewart bitch face, we thought we’d toast her boyfriend the same way. Enjoy our present to you – 24 of the most ridiculous Robert Pattinson faces on the planet – otherwise known as RPattz Porn. Dig in, dear readers!

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by (@katespencer)

RPattz’s New Movie Is Packed With Sex Scenes. Excited?

robert-pattinson

Yes. Yes, we are 100% out of our minds excited to watch Robert Pattinson seduce a bunch of hot chicks in his new movie Bel Ami, which goes into production this winter. Who isn’t? Sure he’s awkward, but that’s what makes him sooo0 sexy (insert coo here) and we’re tired of sitting through hours of Twilight books and movies only to see him grunt out a kiss or two (yep, we’re counting the days until the Breaking Dawn movie(s) for one reason and one reason only). We want some hardcore, XXX RPattz action!

Okay, so Bel Ami isn’t a porno, but it’ll suffice. Apparently our lil’ Brit plays a shady guy who sleeps his way through every hot woman in Paris, seducing and using ‘em as he goes. Christina Ricci, Uma Thurman, and Kristen Scott Thomas are lined up to play his paramours, and Life&Style reveals that, “one of his sex romps with Christina finds both their characters surprised by the intensity of the racy encounter.” Um, yay?

[Photo: GettyImages]