Betty Ford Clinic

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan Accuser Claims Injuries Required Surgery

We’re not saying we can’t imagine Lindsay Lohan doing some serious damage if she wanted to; the woman’s got a lot of deep-seated rage, plus the speed and dexterity of an enraged spider monkey. However, as with all celebrity lawsuits, we’ll take reports that Betty Ford worker Dawn Holland was injured by Lohan, to the point of needing surgery, with a pinch of salt. After filing a lawsuit against the actress on Friday, Holland’s lawyer Owen McIntosh claims his client allegedly required surgical intervention after she developed De Quervain syndrome, a tendon injury, from Lohan twisting her wrist. The part we find dubious is that Holland’s hand would still connected to her arm at all. Seriously, Lindsay’s guns look like steel cables.

To be fair to both parties, Holland did report being injured soon after Lindsay Lohan’s Betty Ford fight with her, though criminal charges against Lohan were eventually dropped. Meanwhile Lindsay is denying reports that she lost her damn mind, drinking-wise, at a friend’s fete this weekend. “Love how going to a friends birthday turns into a slew of lies! grrr – oh well… happy sunday all,” Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter read last night. And if the rest of the planet is lucky, the only place Lohan growls at us will be on the Internet.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan Slapped With Lawsuit Over Betty Ford Incident

You can set the clock on your microwave by how frequently Lindsay Lohan gets into legal trouble. If this new lawsuit ever goes to court, the time will be approximately half-past crazy-cray. TMZ reports the suit stems from Lindsay Lohan’s Betty Ford incident last December, after which clinic employee Dawn Holland claimed a drunken Lohan man-handled her, lost her job for talking to the media and later issued a letter defending the actress. While battery charges were dropped by investigators, Holland is now seeking at least $1 million for “great mental, physical and nervous pain and suffering,” which is what we’re going to get if we have to cover a new Lohan trial so soon.

Meanwhile, the judge overseeing Lohan’s probation for the jewelry store incident is reportedly peeved that the Gotti actress hasn’t finished more of her community service or signed up for counseling in the months following her sentencing. If rumors are true, maybe Lohan’s boyfriend Spencer Falls is too much of a distraction for Lilo to get right with the law? When will these male models learn that orange mocha frappucinnos aren’t the solution to everything?

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan Has Been Unleashed!

Get your baby buggies off the road and hid your collagen, everyone. Lindsay Lohan’s out of rehab! All day it’s been, will she or won’t she? Lindsay Lohan and the Betty Ford Clinic are turning into the Ross and Rachel of the new millennium. Luckily for the curious, Dina Lohan officially confirmed her daughter’s release, saying “It’s a great day.” Ah yes, those 24 hours before Lindsay has to go right back in are always the best.

On New Year’s Day Lindsay tweeted some sobering stuff, possibly with her release in mind: “Today is the first day of the rest of my life. The future depends on what we do in the present.’ -Mahatma Gandhi… One step at a time…” To be fair, Gandhi probably wouldn’t immediately go on a shopping spree for fresh leggings or start drunk-tweeting Sam Ronson. However, since all us boring people get a fresh start with the new year, we guess Lindsay deserves one too. So good luck, Lohan! To everyone else: we weren’t joking about that collagen thing.