Books

by (@missmuttoo)

Julianne Moore’s Kids Books Turned Into a Musical

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Did you know that Julianne Moore has written kiddie books a la Madonna? Two of them, called Freckleface Strawberry and Freckleface Strawberry and The Dodgeball Bully. Surely they must be biographical, right? Moore and freckles, check. Moore and strawberry hair, check. Hmmm.

The books are now being turned into a musical called Freckleface Strawberry the Musical, scheduled for Off-Broadway’s New World Stages during late summer. Previews start on September 9, while the show starts on October 3. Moore commented, “Writing a children’s book was always a dream. Seeing the story come to life on stage in a musical is more than I ever imagined.”

The billing reads, “Freckleface Strawberry the Musical chronicles the life of seven-year-old Strawberry being teased by her schoolmates for having bright red hair and freckles. She feels different from everyone else and does anything to get rid of them — from scrubbing them with soap and even wearing a ski mask to school. Strawberry goes on a journey and discovers that all people are different. She ultimately learns to accept herself for all of who she is, freckles and all.”

Awww. *Tear* Will you give it a watch?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Kendra Wilkinson Was Once A Coked-Out Teen Stripper

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The TMI train just doesn’t stop chugging with Kendra Wilkinson, especially now that Kendra’s book “Sliding Into Home” is out. We already revealed the horror of her first time having sex with Hugh Hefner, and yes – her words made our eyes and ears bleed.

But was that sex talk enough? Nooooo. Where there’s a book there’s publicity, and where there’s publicity there’s Kendra on the Today show telling us things that make us want to withdraw, shaking, into a shell. The book details the Playmate’s struggle with drug abuse that began when she was just 13 years old(!), as well as her previous employment grinding stripper poles. “I always knew that was wrong. I kind of lost myself for a little bit. I was a very good person doing it, but I was kind of still embarrassed about it. It wasn’t me.”

Kendra also reveals she had suicidal tendencies at 15 years old, which involved cutting herself. She even checked herself into a mental hospital, saying, “I had so much pain that I just wanted to die. It wasn’t that I was trying to die, it was that the [physical] pain [of cutting myself] took away from my pain inside.” A cocaine overdose brought on a particularly horrific episode. “I was bleeding from every hole in my body, and I really thought I was going to die that night. But you know what, I survived, and I swear it was a couple of days after that that I had an epiphany. I just stopped drugs, stopped smoking cigarettes, stopped everything, and went home.”
TMI, but interesting nonetheless. Maybe Lindsay Lohan could give it a read while in jail?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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The Cover Of Lauren Conrad’s New Style Book Is Awkward

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Lauren Conrad may be the only person who got out of The Hills before imploding, but that still doesn’t mean we understand her legitimate career as an author. After she decided to quit her fake-acting career, Conrad started writing novels and now she’s also written a style book. (Seriously, someone needs to stop this trend, how much more can we learn from celebrities about how to dress?)

The cover of Conrad’s book, which is slated to come out in October and is titled Lauren Conrad Style, has just been released and we have to say, we’re seeing about a hundred different things wrong with it, the most ironic being that this is not what Lauren Conrad usually looks like. From the bun on her head to the glam eye makeup to the piercing stare, this is not how we remember her from The Hills. Still, the former fashion student wanted to share her wisdom with her fans and says the book with include “personal stories, live and learn stories,” and “a couple of high school horror stories.” Right, because we didn’t already see those on Laguna Beach.

[Photo: Harper Collins via People]

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Tyra Banks To Pen A Novel About Model With Super Powers

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You didn’t think that Tyra Banks was going to quit her talk show and then just fade out of the spotlight did you? Of course not, the Tyra we know would never do that, the woman lives for an audience. She is taking on a whole new career though, this time as an author. Banks just signed a three book deal with Random House to write a series of young adult novels. The first book will be called Modelland and Tyra has some pretty fantastic things to say about it.

Tyra wrote on her website “It’s my novel called Modelland (pronounced “Model Land”) that takes you to a fantastical place you’ve never seen, or heard about, or read about before … Where dreams come true and life can change in the blink of a smoky eye. I’m excited that you’ll be able to read about this magical world that’s been living in my dreams for so many years.” Yes, magical world. Modelland is a place where models go to get trained, and some have super powers. We’re not making that up. It’s like the model version of Harry Potter, where Karl Lagerfeld is Dumbledore, and Moaning Myrtle roams the girls’ bathroom looking for girls who are making themselves throw up. We kid, we kid. (But we sure can hope!)

Tyra also writes that the characters in the book will  be based on “some of the models I’ve known – both nice and ‘ice.’” Janice Dickinson? Please let there be a Janice Dickinson character! As corny as this book sounds, it also sounds like it could be a hilarious read – unfortunately it has no release date yet.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Oprah Winfrey Doesn’t Want A New Daddy, Thanks For Offering

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Oprah Winfrey: some days we love her, and some days we’re so over her. Today, we’re back on the love train, mainly because she’s taking the news of her new unauthorized biography in stride and fighting back against some of its claims.

The new bio, by Kitty Kelley, alleges that Oprah dated John Tesh, that she did drugs, and most personally, it reveals the identity of Oprah’s birth father. We repeat the key word here: allegedly. North Robinson, an 84-year-old farmer from Mississippi, claims that he is Winfrey’s father and has tried to get in touch with her so that she will take a paternity test to confirm, but Opes, she ain’t having it. Oprah told the New York Post “I will not be taking a paternity test, ever,” and later, at a media lunch honoring her bestie, Gayle King, Oprah said “Every day, [Gayle]‘s getting herself more and more worked up about all of my new daddies that are now showing up. New daddies who are saying, ‘Hello daughter, call me, I need a new roof.’ Well, this too shall pass.” We should all be so lucky to have a BFF like Gayle who gets worked up for us so we don’t have to. Also, Oprah is hilarious.

It’s amazing that anyone thinks they can try this stuff with Oprah, no one messes with Oprah. Isn’t that a lesson we’ve learned from James Frey and mad cow hamburgers? You’d think people would know by now.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Harry Potter May Ride His Nimbus 3000 Again

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Harry Potter nerds everywhere, get ready to pee your Invisibility Cloaks with excitement: Author J.K. Rowling has confessed that she hasn’t ruled out writing another book in the Potter series.

During the annual White House Easter Egg Roll on Monday, Rowling attended and took questions from the kids in attendance and said that she plans to continue writing, saying, “I’m quite sure in the not-too-distant future I will bring out another book.”

Not necessarily a Harry Potter book, mind you, just a new book. When asked specifically about the Potter series, she said she may revisit those characters “maybe 10 years from now.” We’re not sure we can wait that long; why must you wave this in our faces only to withhold it for ten more years, J.K.? We can’t even wait for the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 to come out and that’s in theaters everywhere November 19, 2010! We need a butterbeer to calm ourselves and get our fan-fiction-writing juices flowing in the meantime. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Brooke Shields Plans Tell-All Memoir

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Brooke Shields has lived most of her life in public, but there are still some details she’s kept private…until now. The model-actress-eyelash baldness sufferer is penning a memoir that will air some dirty laundry, specifically about her ex-husband Andre Agassi. Shields has already written two other books about her personal life, Down Came The Rain,  which was a look at her own battle with post-partum depression, and On Your Own, an advice book geared toward teens that she wrote when she was a young model and which sounds amazing, though it’s out of print. (After taking a look at its Amazon page, we so want a copy). Finally in this latest book, she’ll give us the good dirt we’ve been waiting for.

Shields explains that after Agassi’s own memoir, Open, came out last year, she realized his stories about their two-year marriage were very one-sided. One such anecdote was about Shields’ turn as a guest star on Friends. Agassi turned violent after he watched Shields lick Matt LeBlanc‘s hand in a scene, and he drove home in a rage eventually smashing several of his tennis trophies. Shields’ version of the story will pick up where his left off,  and she says “Does he mention I spent the next three years replicating those trophies? He doesn’t say that, does he? Of course not. That’ll be in my book!” What we’re more fascinated by is the fact that Joey Tribbiani inspired such rage. He was but a humble, sandwich-loving soap opera actor, he never meant any harm.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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One More Piece Of Junk For The Book DeposiTORI

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Look, we love a good pun as much as the next guy, but we have our limits. Wanna know who doesn’t have a pun limit? Tori Spelling. The woman must be stopped! First we thought, ‘Oh, cute, her reality show about running a bed and breakfast is called “Tori And Dean: Inn Love.”‘ Then we were like, ‘Oh, look at that, Tori’s new book is called sTORItelling. That’s lucky!’ She took a break from the wordplay when she named her other book Mommywood, but brace yourself, because Tori just announced that she is writing her third book will be called Unchartered terriTORI. Come on!

Pretty soon these Tori puns are going to run out and she’s going to have to go with “Spelling Bee” or something equally terrible. Of course, it’s a genetic disease -  her mother Candy’s memoir was called  Stories From CandyLand, obvs. But the real question is: who is even reading these books? [Photo: GettyImages]

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Hulk Hogan Almost Killed Himself After Break-Up

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In his new book, Life Outside The Ring, Hulk Hogan reveals the harrowing depths of his despondency following the dissolution of his marriage and son Nick Hogan‘s imprisonment for a grisly DUI accident. “I practically begged [ex-wife Linda Hogan], ‘Please, don’t file. Our son’s just had this accident – if we do this now, it’ll make us look like the Britney Spears family. Please, don’t file for divorce.’”

After one particularly wild night in December 2007, Hogan came home from a strip club to an empty house. Contemplating suicide after mixing Xanax and rum, the wrestler got as far as putting his finger on the trigger when he received a phone call from Muhammad Ali‘s daughter Laila, his American Gladiators co-star.

Hogan also discusses his relationship with Linda in the book, accusing her of abusive behavior towards the family. “In public, we were all having the time of our lives, but that public image only further masked the problems that were growing behind the scenes,” Hogan writes. “There were plenty of times when Linda would lose it, but no one wanted to see that kind of ugliness on TV.” Life Outside The Ring hits shelves next week.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Katie Weighing Lesbian Relationship, Role On SATC 2

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Traumatic divorce or no traumatic divorce, Katie Price has a business empire to run, and so in order to plug her latest ghostwritten novel Sapphire (no laughing at the back, please), she’s on the publicity trail again. Hang on, when is she not on the publicity trail? Anyhow, she told Metro her future love life could feature a bit of 2009′s trendy fad for fake bisexuality.

“No one could ever bet or imagine who I’ll be going out with next. I don’t even know myself. Who knows? It could be a woman,” she said.

That’s one thing you haven’t tried yet, Katie, and it’s sure to fascinate the tabloids! Another thing she hasn’t tried yet is acting, but that’s not going to stop her. “I’m also going back to L.A. to do an audition for Sex And The City 2,” she added. Dear god, no. [Photo: Splash News Online]