Books

by (@hallekiefer)

Snooki Hasn’t Heard Of J.K. Rowling, Maya Angelou, Basically Anyone

Look, the woman is very busy becoming a New York Times best-selling author! She doesn’t have time to know things! During her interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, it was revealed that Snooki has no idea who Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling or Pulitizer Prize nominee Maya Angelou are. “I don’t know who that is, but I’m here,” Snooki scoffed when Kimmel called her more prolific than J.K. When reminded that Rowling wrote that series of books everyone in the Western Hemisphere has been reading for the past decade, the Jersey Shore star perked up, saying “Oh, ok, those movies are cool.” Well she’s not wrong, is she? Is she?

As of yesterday Snooki’s books now total three published works: the new Confessions of a Guidette, her first book A Shore Thing, and its sequel, the elegantly titled Gorilla Beach. When Kimmel informed Snooki that she beat Maya Angelou’s record for the use of the word ‘friggin’ in a single tome, Snooki admitted,”I don’t know who that is. I don’t know who anybody is!” That is not fair! Ask her stuff she knows, like who JWoww or The Situation are! We’re 92% sure she would get those two right!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Kate Hudson’s Dad Publishing A Tell-All About “Spoiled Brat” Daughter

As should be a surprise to no one who knows anything about wackadoo celebrity parents, Kate Hudson’s father’s tell-all is coming out November 1 and it sounds pretty dreadful. “I love Kate, but … She has done stuff which is just awful,” Kate’s estranged dad Bill Hudson writes in his upcoming memoir 2 Versions: The Other Side of Fame and Family. “She is a spoiled brat in my eyes and at the end of the day, she should meet her little sister. I should meet my grandchild and she should help her grandmother.” Hmm, we can’t imagine why Kate doesn’t want to bring her infant son Bingham to meet someone who calls her names whilst telling the whole world about their family drama. The pieces of the puzzle just don’t seem to fit!

Kate Hudson’s dad also talked to the press earlier this year about how his daughter is apparently just the worst. “Kate doesn’t have to talk to me and she doesn’t have to give her a dime of her millions,” he claimed at the time. “All I want is for her to call and say, ‘Hi grandma’, before it’s too late.” And if there’s a better way to make that phone call happen then to shame his offspring via an embarrassing memoir, we have no concept of what that might be.

by (@hallekiefer)

Journalist Spills The Beans About J.K. Rowling’s Alternate Harry Potter Ending

At this point, unless your arm is pinned underneath a rock in some desert canyon, you’ve already seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. However, now that the final film is out British journalist Greg Palast is revealing what could have been the series’ finale, if J.K. Rowling had gone with her Harry Potter alternate ending.

According to Palast, in 2007 after he had befriended Rowling over their mutual best-sellers, the Potter author let slip some details of an ending that she didn’t end up using. “Sorry Jo, that’s the danger of befriending an investigative reporter – if you forget to use the magical words, ‘This is off the record,’” Palast wrote on his website this week. If you want the full description, you can head over to Greg Palast’s blog, but just to give you a sneak-peek: Harry Potter as the headmaster of Hogwarts in the year 2130, Ginny turning herself into a bird, Voldemort frozen forever as a young Tom Riddle and Harry’s great, great grandson showing the first adorable baby clues that he might be something off a dark lord himself. Now did that give you enough of an adrenaline surge to heave that rock off your arm, or what? Oh…it didn’t? Please, please keep trying then.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

LaToya Jackson Says Ex Tried To Pimp Her Out To Mike Tyson

Our jaws dropped when we heard of LaToya Jackson‘s abuse claims at the hands of ex husband (and manager), Jack Gordon. She appeared on The Talk and spoke about their relationship — he passed away in 2005 — and the details are truly shocking. LaToya said that she was offered to Mike Tyson, for him to have sex with her for a pay check!  She explained, “Mike Tyson later told my mother and father and some other friends that he (Gordon) had told him that if he wanted to sleep with me he has to pay $100,000.” Whatwhatwhat?

She also said that Gordon forced and threatened her to take part in group sex and pose for Playboy. She told the stunned audience, “I was in brothels and everything. He put me (it was) everything I was against. He made me do Playboy twice and had me sit on the stage and say ‘Oh no, it was all my idea.’ And I had to do that because I knew what he said he would do, he would do it.” See, we told you this was just insane!

If this is all true, then we really feel for her. But all these confessions are timed with the recent release of her memoir Starting Over which is a no-holds-barred account of her life. The profitable angle gets us wary. Then again, if this is her form of catharsis and it’s her way of getting things off her chest, then who are we to say anything?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Casting Divergent, Hollywood’s Next Big Book-To-Movie Franchise

We are going to make a very bold and controversial statement: we loved Divergent, Veronica Roth‘s dystopian adventure/romance YA novel, more than The Hunger Games. Before you freak out and stab us with a Mockingjay pin, hear us out. This book is good. Yes, it’s that good — so good that Summit (the studio behind Twilight) picked up the rights to the film before the book was even released. Evan Daughtery, who penned the Kristen Stewart-helmed Snow White and the Huntsman, is writing the screenplay. Have we piqued your interest yet?

Here’s the official description from the publisher: “In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.”

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Keanu Reeves Wants To Go “Deep Into Haiku” In Next Book

All together now: I know haiku. Keanu Reeves kicked off a new career as an author earlier this year with Ode To Happiness, a “grown-up picture book” revolving around tongue-in-cheek poem about his depression. And he’s already got an idea for book number two. “I’m considering another idea I call Haikus of Hope. Basically like, ‘I want to kill myself’ and go from there. Going into such a dark place that you can somehow surprisingly find the light at the end of the tunnel—but a nice end of the tunnel. Not the end of the tunnel… ‘I hang from a cherry tree… I hang.’” That’s just great, Keanu…that’s great.

Apparently the book won’t just be for people who want Keanu to guide them through the happy end of the sad tunnel. “I’m gonna get deep into haiku, because often times people construe that in English it’s five-seven-five syllables, but that doesn’t have to hold true, so I want to play with the traditional Basho form. I like that: Haikus of Hope.” Whatever keeps you awake between takes, dude.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Is Hilary Duff On Team Peeta Or Team Gale?

Hilary Duff paid a visit to the VH1 offices this week and we got a chance to talk to her about — what else? — The Hunger Games. Duff is one of those triple threats: singer, actor and Young Adult fiction writer. Her novel Elixir is a New York Times bestseller, so it seems only fitting that we chat with her about the next big book-to-movie franchise. She declared her love for one of Katniss’ suitors in the video above, and filled us in on her own book-to-movie dreams. Is Elixir next? Check out the video below to find out!

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Levi Johnston Drags Out His 15 Minutes By Writing A Tell-All Book

Levi Johnston was the most famous political baby-daddy in all the land for a while there (until John Edwards came in and stole his thunder, that rascal). Johnston’s relationship with Bristol Palin has been over for a while now and Bristol has been quietly dating an Alaskan pipeline worker for a few months, so you’d think Johnston should be un-famous by this point, but he just keep milking these fifteen minutes of fame.

Johnston just announced that he’s writing a tell-all book about the Palin family called Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. Subtle! His publisher explains that it will be “a fascinating tale of a misunderstood boy figuring out how to be a man and a father after being thrust into the spotlight and subsequent media circus at a very young and vulnerable age.” When we think of a guy famous for having unprotected sex and also famous for posing in Playgirl, we don’t think “vulnerable” but that’s just us. Johnston himself says “I want to tell the truth about my close relationship with the Palins… my sense of Sarah, and my perplexing fall from grace.” Yeah, it’s real perplexing when your fall from grace comes after you become famous for having unprotected sex and for posing in Playgirl. Sorry, we’re a little hung up on that.

Still, no one moves books like Sarah Palin, whether you love her or you hate her, so it’s probably going to be a bestseller.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Kara DioGuardi Unloads A Lifetime of Bad Things In Her New Memoir

We’ve always been hard on former American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi because we never found her particularly likable or insightful on the show. DioGuardi is about to make us feel terrible for every bad thing we’ve ever said about her though what with the release of her memoir A Helluva High Note, which comes out next week and reveals a lifelong history of abuse, rape and a whole lot more.

In the new book, DioGuardi reveals that she was molested by a family friend when she was just eleven years old. Later, as she was just starting her music career, she was date-raped by a “fairly known producer,” and was sexually harassed by a “hugely successful” recording artist and forced to watch strippers have sex while on a songwriting trip with this anonymous star. Sorry, was this book called A Helluva High Note, or One Low Note After Another? We’re confused and we also feel awful. To add to DioGuardi’s personal struggles, she also reveals her difficulty conceiving a child, having undergone unsuccessful IVF treatments while on Idol. She says that her desire for a family is one of the reasons she left the show, saying “I wanted a child and there was no way I could get pregnant under the stress of eighteen-hour work days and live TV.” Let’s hope she’s under less stress on her new show with Jewel called Platinum Hit, (formerly Going Platinum) which premieres in May.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Rob Lowe Talks Friendship With Charlie Sheen, General Creepiness In Memoir

Remember the Rob Lowe sex tape? No? Well, you’re about to, all for a reasonable price at your local bookstore! Apparently Rob Lowe’s memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends details the actor’s sordid Brat Pack days, a time when he used MTV as a “home-shopping network, and it’s not beneath me to call up to get the contacts on the sexy dancer in the latest Sting video. I find C-SPAN to be useful in this regard as well. Seeing Oliver North‘s secretary, Fawn Hall, being sworn in during Iran-Contra, I make a note to track her down.” That is the sleaziest, most ’80s sentence we’ve ever read! After Lowe was busted for making his sex tape with an underage girl, Hugh Hefner consoled him, “”You had to do it. The technology existed!” Ugh, Rob, why are you ruining your cute, charming character on Parks & Rec for us? Why? Why?

Rob also talks about all his hard partying with Charlie Sheen, about which he recalls, “Charlie and I compete to see who can play harder, then show up to work and still kick ass. Verdict: Sheen by a nose.” Lowe later describes an incident where his face was attacked by a large parrot on his way to visiting Hotel New Hampshire director Tony Richardson . Nice try Lowe, but you’re going to need a lot more funny stories staring a lot more adorable animal friends for us to get passed this hot mess of a memoir. Don’t even get us started on your dinner date with Roman Polanski and 15 models (yeah, it’s seriously happened too).