Remember the Rob Lowe sex tape? No? Well, you’re about to, all for a reasonable price at your local bookstore! Apparently Rob Lowe’s memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends details the actor’s sordid Brat Pack days, a time when he used MTV as a “home-shopping network, and it’s not beneath me to call up to get the contacts on the sexy dancer in the latest Sting video. I find C-SPAN to be useful in this regard as well. Seeing Oliver North‘s secretary, Fawn Hall, being sworn in during Iran-Contra, I make a note to track her down.” That is the sleaziest, most ’80s sentence we’ve ever read! After Lowe was busted for making his sex tape with an underage girl, Hugh Hefner consoled him, “”You had to do it. The technology existed!” Ugh, Rob, why are you ruining your cute, charming character on Parks & Rec for us? Why? Why?
Rob also talks about all his hard partying with Charlie Sheen, about which he recalls, “Charlie and I compete to see who can play harder, then show up to work and still kick ass. Verdict: Sheen by a nose.” Lowe later describes an incident where his face was attacked by a large parrot on his way to visiting Hotel New Hampshire director Tony Richardson . Nice try Lowe, but you’re going to need a lot more funny stories staring a lot more adorable animal friends for us to get passed this hot mess of a memoir. Don’t even get us started on your dinner date with Roman Polanski and 15 models (yeah, it’s seriously happened too).
This is a terrible story for a mother and her daughters to share. Ashley Judd‘s new memoir, All That Is Bitter & Sweet, must have stirred up some nasty memories for her mother and sister because their own traumatic stories are surfacing. Ashley’s mother, Naomi, and her sister, Wynonna, were on The View yesterday and revealed some really painful past episodes with abuse. Naomi said, “I never told a single soul until about two years ago we were sitting at our kitchen table with our therapist…and he asked me what was your first memory? And I said ‘well, it was being sexually abused is my first memory.’ He said, ‘why didn’t you tell your mother?’ and then I fell apart because I realized I didn’t trust my mother.”
All three members of the Judd family have been victims of abuse, and while Ashley’s detailing her stories in her book, Naomi and Wynonna are addresses their experiences on their show The Judds. Wynonna has also written a book, Coming Home To Myself, about her history with sexual abuse. None of them are resentful of Ashley writing about their troubled history. Says Naomi, “We’re allowing each of us to have a voice. It’s Ashley’s turn. We all have three different realities of the same car ride to the nightmares we were in.” Wynonna, on the show, said, “People are trying to almost pit us against each other and I want to come out and say, ‘Listen, we agree to disagree in our family, but we show up and support each other for who we are.’” Hopefully all three women will find some peace now that their stories have been told.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We think Ashley Judd‘s a gorgeous woman. And it takes cojones to write a memoir like All That Is Bitter & Sweet, which details Ashley’s life, including all the nasty details like the sexual abuse she suffered by a family member’s husband. Debuting this book must be a huge moment for her. Having said that that, she didn’t deserve the short shrift from her make-up artist! He or she made a really stupid rookie mistake. Look at Ashley’s eyes and nose — white face powder everywhere. Nicole Kidman has also been the victim of powder face.
Ashley was at Barnes & Noble in New York yesterday to promote the book and obviously wasn’t aware of the screw-up. At least she looked happy to be there!
[Photo: Getty Images]
This might be a stretch, but does anyone else remember the episode of Sex and The City where Carrie Bradshaw pitches an idea for an anti-children’s book about a little girl with magic cigarettes? It was like, a kids’ book you’d never want your child to read. Well that’s the first thing we thought of when we heard that Perez Hilton is going to write a children’s book. The man who became famous for drawing penises in celebrity mouths is planning to write a book which “celebrates individuality and self-acceptance.” Book publisher Raymond Garcia, explains that the book, called The Boy With Pink Hair, is “a defining story about how believing in yourself and following your aspirations can not only bring out the best in you, but also in those around you. With fun, colorful and endearing characters, Perez reminds readers that by simply accepting our differences we can find the things that unite us all.”
Look, we know that Hilton is now friends with a lot of the celebs he used to bait and make fun of, and he’s softened up a bit (i.e. now he just panders instead of poking fun), but that doesn’t change the fact that his legacy doesn’t really jibe with being an example for young kids. We’re all about promoting tolerance—we’d easily prefer a kids book written by Hilton over on written by, say, Victoria Jackson—but the guy earns his living by crapping all over people (metaphorically and Photoshopically), which is sort of a hypocritical stance, in our opinion. Are we being harsh?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Mom, we told you to wait in the car! It’s bad enough when your mom tells you to put a sweater on in front of your date. It’s even worse when she mentions in front of the entire English-speaking world. Following rumors that Katy Perry’s mother was looking for a book deal, the New York Post got their hands on a copy of Mary Perry Hudson’s book proposal. It’s about as humiliating as you’d expect. “Katy stepped out from behind the changing doors in a tiny risqué costume. No mother wants to see the top of her daughter’s boobs,” Hudson reportedly writes. “My first instinct was to order her back behind those doors and demand she put something else on . . . However, I had no problem letting my eyebrows say what I wouldn’t allow my mouth to utter.” Oh man, Mrs. Hudson is not one of those cool moms. She is barely even a regular mom.
Just like your mom horrifies your friends by talking about when she was head cheerleader, so too does Ma Perry try to horn in on Katy’s primary extra-curricular activity: getting attention. “Oh, dear God, how can I save her from all this? The money, the fame, the network, the people surrounding her, how can I compete?” Hudson laments, comparing the relationship between herself and Katy to that of Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus, or Jon Voight and Angelina Jolie, any family “whose children have risen to fame and live contrary to their parents’ beliefs.” Hey, there are only so many years anyone looks good in turquoise Spandex, Ms. Hudson. Your time may have past, but let Katy have hers. Let Katy have hers.
[Photo: Getty Images]
This sounds kind of shady to us. Page Six is reporting that Katy Perry‘s mother, Mary Perry Hudson, is looking for a book deal—and not for her famous daughter, but for her. Mary, as Katy’s talked about in interviews before, is a Christian Evangelical preacher, as is her husband, and the book apparently deals with how their pop star daughter has affected their Christian ministry. Mary admits that she, “disagrees with a lot go choices she makes in her career”. We’re guessing those choices would involve kissing girls and liking it, right?
The proposal for the book — which Page Six has seen — reads, “This memoir is her story, in her own words. Mary and Keith Hudson have been Christian Evangelists long before the world ever heard of Katy Perry”. No word yet from Katy, but we think this sounds like a bit of a sell-out. There’s a bit of a competitive edge in that proposal, too. While we’re not denying their faith, they do have to admit that they’re getting mileage because of their daughter. And if Mary wanted to write a book on her faith and her ministry, why use Katy as a selling point? She’s clearly going to take up a large part of that book! We wouldn’t be too happy, if we were Katy.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen are both virtually unemployable these days, but Lindsay has the distinct advantage of being a woman, and when all else fails, she can take her clothes off for money. (Sorry, Charlie, no one wants to see your drug-ravaged body.) Reportedly, Lohan just signed a whopping $4.3 million deal to appear in a book of photographs taken by sleazy photographer Terry Richardson, and the photos will include “full frontal nudity” and “graphic” shots. To make things more confusing, James Franco has also agreed to appear in the book and reportedly took time out of his Oscar rehearsal schedule on Saturday night to do a shoot with Lohan and Richardson.
This won’t be the first time Lindsay’s agreed to a nude photo spread; two years ago she bared all (well, almost all, there was no full-frontal) for a New York Magazine shoot that re-created Marilyn Monroe‘s famous “Last Sitting.” Something tells us Terry Richardson’s standards for nudity will be quite different from Marilyn’s.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Maybe after trying her hand at a musical career, an acting career and career consisting only of trying on bikinis and kissing in front of the paparazzi, Heidi Montag has finally found her calling in writing spooky teen romances. It can’t possibly hurt her career to try! Heidi Montag and Jason Biggs exchanged book ideas via Twitter today after Montag tweeted, “Thinking about writing a supernatural romance novel. Would you read?” to which Biggs replied “Holy s–t yes.” Not that we’d ever admit it to anyone, but our sentiments exactly.
The actor and the sort of actress got hot and heavy with their tweets, suggesting plenty of plot ideas, all of which sounded like real winners. “Heidi’s Romance Novel, Chapter 1: @biggsjason sits seductively on a tiger skin rug, wearing nothing but a yarmulke,” Montag triumphantly tweeted, finally concluding “So #HMRomNovel stars myself & @biggsjason. Need a good antagonist for the vampire KGB officer. Thinking @DannyPudi From Community.” As if the notion of a blood-sucking Russian official with Jason Bigg’s face isn’t enough to get the tweens swooning, Montag tweeted to Biggs, “Apparently @biggsjason is posing nude for the cover of my supernatural romance novel. Cross that one off my bucket list!” Wait a minute…just how did Heidi get a copy of our bucket list?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Too bad the holidays are over, or else Snooki’s new book A Shore Thing would find its way into my family and friends’ stockings, even if I had to crawl through their cat door in the middle of the night to put it there. Snooki announced last year that she was writing her first novel, and by “writing” we mean, “filing her nails while some assistant typed it out in 45 minutes flat.” According to publisher Simon & Schuster, Shore features cousins Gia and Bella enjoying “hot guidos, pool clubs, fried Oreos, and lots of tequila,” as well as a barely fictionalized trip to the Seaside Heights drunk tank. Here for your reading pleasure are some choice quotes plucked by the New York Post from Snicker’s authorial debut, due out tomorrow:
- “He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
- “Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”
- “Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
- “Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank — on a weekday afternoon — was as clean and quiet as a church.”
- “I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.”
A loud one. And stinky. We couldn’t have summed it up better ourselves, Snickers!
[Photo: Nicole Polizzi's Twitter]
Are you looking for love but having a hard time? Are you a Jersey Shore fan? Would you be willing to take advice from the show’s second biggest female star? If you are, then today is your lucky day! Farley is writing a dating self-help guide called The Rules According To J-Woww. The book is inspired by that famous 1995 tome The Rules, which brainwashed women into believing there was a right way and a wrong way to snag a man. J-Woww will offer “shore-tested secrets on landing a mint guy, staying fresh to death, and kicking the competition to the curb.” And hopefully an epilogue on how to clear up gorilla rash.
Everything in The Rules According To J-Woww will probably not be reality-based but with advice like “Bust his balls a little,” and “Hair belongs on your head . . . nowhere else,” it’s sure to become a classic bathroom read.Ã‚Â The book comes out in February, 2011, but in the meantime, check out the cover below.