Whether you call her porn star Bree Olson or Charlie Sheen “goddess” Rachel Oberlin, one thing you can’t call this lady is prison-bound. According to TMZ, Olson pleaded guilty to that pesky DUI from last February, allegedly getting off with community service and a year of unsupervised probation after scoring a deal with the DA. Her departures from Charlie’s Violent Torpedo Of Truth tour have been consistently linked to her legal woes in Indiana, though Charlie claimed Bree finally left him for good via text.
There’s been no word on whether Olson will return to porn—she said she was retired for as long as she was with Sheen, but only as long as—or whether a reunion with Charlie may be in cards (her rep says they’re “still in touch”). Then again, there’s always option three: cash in on her former goddess status with a tell-all. None of these career directions officially violate probation, though some certainly increase the likelihood of doing so.
Charlie revealed that he was a goddess short at his show in Fort Lauderdale when an audience member asked how his threesome was doing. His response? “Not well, because one left,” and he then dropped the text bomb. But in an unforeseen move, Charlie said he wishes her well and isn’t baying for her blood! That’s jst gr8. So glad 4 U. C U ltr, Charlie.
Ironically, Sheen announced “The Rachel tending to errands back home” on his Twitter this weekend—pretty gentle for a guy known for not taking rejection well. As you can guess, it didn’t take long after posting for TMZ to admit they overplayed the drama. Turns out Bree once again has to deal with her DUI case in Indiana—partially the cause for her last departure from Sheen’s side—and that she is “100% still one of Charlie’s goddesses.” Wow, when TMZ can’t even bother to parse Sheen’s tweets, you know his cultural moment must be fading.
It looks like the warlock may have clutched victory from the jaws of defeat. Charlie Sheen’s Cleveland show was successful enough to end with a standing ovation, less than week after the Violent Torpedo Of Truth tour’s Detroit debut ended in boos. As in Chicago, Sheen skipped the poetry and stuck to questions from the audience, trading shirts with a woman in the audience and showing off “goddesses” Natalie Kenly and Rachel Oberlin (a.k.a. porn star Bree Olson). Granted, walking out in his Indians shirt from the movie Major League was a good way to get the audience in his pocket.
While fans were pleased, more objective gawkers could see plenty of signs that Charlie’s far from over his demons. One bit from TMZ’s report most folks are leaving out of theirs is that the audience chanted “F— that bitch!” after Sheen complained about his ex-wife Denise Richards, who he dismissed as a “kidnapper bitch” along with his ex-wife Brooke Mueller at the Chicago show (Richards and the kids visited the Bahamas this week, avoiding the drama). TMZ also said Sheen’s show was glass-free, just in case the audience got violent, and that Charlie made his entourage see Apocalypse Now, starring his estranged father Martin, in a rented multiplex theater after the show. Even if he manages to pull off the rest of this tour without a hitch, it doesn’t look like his life will be drama-free afterward—especially he doesn’t get his Two And A Half Men day job back.
Somehow we don’t think this will calm the network. The second part of Charlie Sheen’s Today interview aired this morning, with Sheen introducing his two “goddesses,” porn star Bree Olson and Cali Chronic pin-up girl Natalie Kenly, to the talk show. Turns out they not only hang out with Sheen, but his kids as well. “We run errands, eat, play with the kids,” says Kenly. “I wish I was with them now,” said Olson. “I don’t want to put them down.” Though Kenly jokes about “the days where we sit with the gold pom-poms and everything” (“don’t run with that!” groaned Sheen), the actor did his best to suggest his new family at the “Sober Valley Lodge” was a happy one. “These women don’t judge me, lead with opinions, lead with their own needs all the time. They are honest enough to say, park your nonsense. What I tell them is don’t live in the middle. Get away from your ego and emotions. Therein lies the solution.” Word? “I told Charlie, I’m on the bus,” said Kenly. “I don’t care where the bus is going.”
Check out photos of Charlie’s goddesses in the gallery below. “Don’t be worried,” says Sheen. “Celebrate this movement.”
Not only is Charlie taking his posse on vacay, it’s been reported that he’s been shacking up with all three women under one roof in L.A. A source revealed, “Charlie is back to his old sel —and that’s not a good thing. So much for rehab at home. He took off with the girls on Wednesday.” Of Charlie’s big plans for his harem, the source added, “Charlie talked about building a porn family and now he’s got these three women all living with him and taking off on vacation with him.”
After the Bree/McGree smooch, Olson reportedly invited “Bombshell” back to Charlie’s place, and—as she likely nothing/no one better to do—the tattooed tart showed up at the Two And A Half Men star’s well-attended (and well-stocked) penthouse. No one’s saying what happened there, but we’re guessing Jesse James is getting excited just thinking about it.