Brittney Jones

by (@missmuttoo)

Ashton Kutcher’s Supposed Mistress Has A Sex Tape

ashton_demi

What’s that we smell in here? Oh right. Skank stank.  We mean you, Brittney Jones. Also known as the bone between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.You know the story: she was obsessed with Ashton, and long story short… had sex with him on the Dashton household sofa.

Does it surprise anyone that B.J (what an appropriate acronym) also has a sex tape out? Which she made when she was 19 years old, we might add. Naturally, her boyfriend of the time is commenting on their sexy-time shenanigans saying, “She was definitely into it. We were together at the time so we made short little clips of us having sex in various positions.” And big surprise; they broke up because Brittney cheated on the dude. Who thinks she’s going to be negotiating a price with the President of Vivid soon? That’s if they’re interested, of course.

What’s actually surprising (or galling, depends on how you choose to look at it), Brittney claims that she’s friends with Demi saying, “I didn’t break up any marriage,  in fact Demi and I are good friends.” She reveals this twist in a text message conversation with friends. Whether it’s the truth or not is yet to be figured out, but we have our money on “no”.

Either way, Mr and Mrs Kutcher are making a huge show of solidarity in the face of the relentless dirt being unearthed. Demi even tweeted a saccharine photograph of them celebrating their fifth anniversary typing, “Thank you for all the anniversary wishes!! Enjoying a day lounging around watching “Breaking Bad” Great show!

Keep up the optimism, guys. ‘Cause Ms. Brittney doesn’t seem like she’s even close to being done with the two of you.

[Photo via Twitter]


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Ashton And Demi Prepare To Celebrate Fifth Anniversary Despite Cheating Rumors

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore‘s marriage has always been scrutinized, because apparently it’s hard to believe that a celebrity couple with a 15-year age gap can be successful. This month has seen a sudden burst of infidelity rumors adding fuel to that fire, and time will tell how the relationship weathers such allegations. What was at first an apparent defamation lawsuit against Star Magazine has now become major tabloid fodder and it’s even this week’s People magazine cover. After Star published reports that Kutcher had an affair, Kutcher Tweeted “Star magazine you don’t get to stand behind ‘freedom of the press’ when you are writing fiction. I think Star magazine calling me a ‘cheater’ qualifies as defamation of character. I hope my lawyer agrees.” That’s not stopping media outlets from debating the possibility that he’s a cheater though.

Brittney Jones, the 21-year-old who alleged she and Kutcher hooked up, claims she and Kutcher met in July while at the Lucky Strikes bowling alley in L.A. and says Kutcher slipped her his number, which led to couch sex at Kutcher and Moore’s home. “It was tender and nice, not some random sex act,” Jones said of their random sex act. What’s also curious (but to be expected in 2010, gross though it may be), is how Jones has already hired a manager and publicist and admits to being “obsessed” with Kutcher. We assume so she can take the Montana Fishburne approach to furthering her career, so forgive us for thinking that’s a little shady.

Meanwhile, People magazine reports this week that the couple is more solid than ever and appear ready to fight any claims of infidelity. A source on the set of Demi’s new movie claims “She gushes over Ashton,” while another says “they seemed super committed.” To boot, they are preparing to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary on Friday, so the allegations could put a damper on things. Or at least a celebratory trip to the bowling alley.

Personally we’re choosing not to believe that Ashton strayed – the couple live their lives so publicly that we don’t think he would be crazy enough to cheat with a random girl in rented shoes. Not when you’ve got a member of the Brat Pack waiting for you at home.