Bulges

by (@hallekiefer)

Bulge Is The New Nipple On JLo’s V Magazine Cover

Jennifer Lopez has spent the last decade establishing to the world how sweet her booty looks. JLo’s near nip slip is already so Oscars 2012. What’s new body part can the American Idol judge bring to our attention? How about some of that sweet, sweet bulge? Okay, so Jennifer’s package is just the weird padding on a pair of boxing shorts, but we demand you look at her new V Magazine cover and tell us you aren’t immediately forced to glance at her crotch. It’s like a magnet for the eyes…pervert eyes!

At least V waited until today to release the magazine cover; we shudder to think of how costar Steven Tyler would have teased JLo about her new genital enhancement last night. “It was no nipple!” Lopez exclaimed on Idol Tuesday night when Tyler teased her about her revealing Academy Awards dress, yanking down his shirt into a more scandalous cut. “That was a reenactment of the Oscars,” Ryan Seacrest laughed. Okay, okay, but seriously, what body part is there left for JLo to blow out minds with? We need to start brainstorming for next year’s red carpet. How about legs? Legs are good. Feet? Arms? El…elbows?

[Photo: V Magazine]