Camel Toe

by (@missmuttoo)

Why, Emily Browning? Why Would You Wear This?

Emily Browning is 22 years old. A spring chicken, if you must. We’re not saying she should drape herself in fuchsia or insane tribal prints, but we’re pretty sure a drab grey shouldn’t be her first choice of color. This outfit is so depressing in so many ways. Okay, so it’s Louis Vuitton and she’s at the amfAR Inspiration gala in Paris — shouldn’t that invoke “fabulous?” Instead she picks a shorts-playsuit combination that is so Dickensian that we feel like calling her Oliver Twist. Don’t even get us started on the sheer knee socks. Or the fact that the shorts are Easy Ways To Camel Toe 101.

Emily — you’re gorgeous, young and have skin, a face and a hot boyfriend (Max Irons, hello) to die for. Lighten the frock up! We like you far too much to see you dressed like this. If you think we’re being way harsh — tough. We kid, you can totally tell us off (or support our fashion policing) in the poll below!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Coco And Her Camel Toe Rock A Skintone Teeny Bikini

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It may be a gray and dreary day here in NYC, but things are HOT HOT HOT in Miami. Ice T‘s unfathomably-curvy trophy wife Coco slathered on some oil and hit the beach in what she calls her “micro mini swimsuit.” As slight patches of orange fabric worked their damnedest to conceal her bare essentials, Coco soaked in some rays  and frolicked in the ocean while her hubby chilled out beneath an umbrella.

Indulge in more tangerine elegance below, and if you haven’t had enough of the “toe,” check out one of our all time favorite posts, “Top 25 Most Shocking Celebrity Camel Toe Moments Ever.” [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Miley Cyrus Listens To “Zero Pop Music,” Hates Musicals Too

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Were you ever told you’d grow up to be the thing you hate? That’s something Miley Cyrus doesn’t have to worry about—she’s already there. While the Hannah Montana singer loves herself some Kurt Cobain, she has no fondness for any genre of music her own songs actually touch on. Miley hates country music, Miley hates pop music, and now she tells Billboard she hates musicals too. “Honestly, musicals? I just can’t. What if this was real life and I was just walking down the street on Rodeo Drive and all of a sudden I just burst into song about how much I love shoes?” Yup, the girl who played a pop singer who hid her identity with a wig just can’t work up the suspension of disbelief. She’s just too real for that Glee crap, y’all!

I listen to zero pop music, which is really weird for someone who makes pop music,” admits Miley. “My 13-year-old self would have beaten up my 17-year-old self because she would be like, ‘You’re a sellout!’ But that’s not what it is. It’s not dance music that’s just about, ‘Ooh, I’m in the club and everyone’s looking at me.’ It means something. I’m not just sitting here trying to sell glitz and glamor…because no one lives that life. A lot of [pop] songs are super shallow, but this music isn’t.” Thankfully for her staff, Miley isn’t too real for promotional appearances, performing in tooooo tight spandex this weekend. Play “unfortunate wrinkle or celebrity cameltoe?” with Miley in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Buy Some Pants, Lady Gaga

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First those golden granny panties, and now this. We know Lady Gaga has an image to maintain, but we doubt anyone would be offended if she threw on a pair of sweat pants during the trip to and from a car. This isn’t Gaga’s first cameltoe moment—and it probably won’t be the last. But there’s no reason this should be on display when she’s not even on stage. Don’t give it away for free!

Related Content: Top 25 Most Shocking Celebrity Cameltoe Moments Ever

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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J-Hud Wears Most Unflattering Pants On Earth

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Was André Leon Talley behind this? Jennifer Hudson performed on the Today Show this morning wearing what may very well be the world’s most hideous pants. While “harem” pants may be hot on the runway, they have quite the opposite effect on bodies over 100lbs, creating the illusion of a 6-inch camel toe. Once we were able to avert our attention from her crotch, we heard her announce that she and fiancé David Otunga had officially set a date and tell Matt Lauer he’d receive a secret invitation. She then graciously signed autographs for fans and performed “Spotlight.” We recently reported that Hudson may be pregnant, though that hardly justifies this ill-fitting ensemble.

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Danny’s Cameltoe And Other Idol Top 3 Horrors

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You are so beautiful to meeeeeOOHH MY GODDD!!! The Top 3 got two songs each last night on American Idol—first they had to sing the worst possible song the judges could think of, then they had to sing the crap they plan to peddle on us once they’re off the show. Naturally, the second song was a little tighter—especially for Danny Gokey‘s pants.

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Top 21 Most Shocking Celebrity Moose Knuckle Moments Ever

What is moose knuckle, you ask? It’s the male version of camel toe, of course! And we have the best — or most disturbing, depending on your point of view — exposures of celebrity bulges ever compiled, including revealing shots of Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Terrell Owens, Mark Wahlberg, David Duchovny and Bret Michaels. Check out our camel toe collection, then dig in to the moose knuckle …

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Related Content: Top 25 Celebrity Camel Toe Moments Ever