by (@hallekiefer)

And Here We Thought He Was Just A Sex Idiot: Genius Ryan Lochte Snags E! Reality Show

Ryan Lochte Gets E! Reality Show

When we included Ryan Lochte on our 10 Things We’d Like to Leave Behind In 2012, we were only referring to medal-winning, Speedo-filling, grill-sporting, 30 Rock-cameoing Ryan Lochte. We enjoyed that Ryan Lochte immensely! We just felt like we’d had enough of him. The part of us that selected him as #12 on our 12 Celebs Who Dominated 2012 list must have known something wonderful was a-brewin’. That something is an E! reality show entitled What Would Ryan Lochte Do? You know, like those bracelets that ask What Would Jesus Do? So, so great. We really underestimated this guy. Plus we’re finally going to find out exactly how many pools Ryan has peed in!

“How deep is the pool of Ryan Lochte? It turns out, very deep.” E! wisely asked today while announcing the new six-episode series. The show will follow Lochte in and out of the water as he trains for the 2016 Rio Olympics, as well as manages his fashion line, interacts with his friends and family and (be still our hearts!) spends his spare moments “looking for the right girl.” This man’s life could not be more perfectly-suited for a reality show. Plus you know there’s a cavernous warehouse already filled with Jeah! t-shirts somewhere. E! just saved themselves some money right there.

by (@hallekiefer)

Nicki Minaj Allegedly Shooting E! “Specials”; We Wonder If Reality TV Is The Right Move For Her?

Nicki Minaj Reality Show May Be In The Works
According to Nicki Minaj‘s interview with Perez Hilton this week, she’s “still considering” her reality TV options, but all signs point to some Nicki-based reality programming coming our way soon. Explained Minaj,“I will say that I find the more people see, is the more they understand, and then it’s the more they like you. When you pull them in your world, they see you as a real person. I’m not running away from it anymore.” Good to hear, because according to Deadline, Nicki is already shooting for E! “The plan is to do specials with her, not a whole series,” a source claims, reporting that the “Pound The Alarm” star will be making three specials to air this fall. Honestly, we’re torn about the whole idea. On one hand…of course. These specials will obviously be a delight. On the other hand, we’re sort of reluctant to let our bubblegum hip-hop realness get in our reality TV, and vice versa. At least without a lot of contemplation first.

Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

Wait, Is Bobbi Kristina Really Doing A Reality Show?

Being Bobby Brown, what hath you wrought? According to RadarOnline, Whitney Houston‘s daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown has reached a verbal agreement to star in a reality show, a choice that, if true, seems like a truly questionable decision for a lot of reasons. For example, in addition to unexpectedly losing her mother just a few short months ago, Bobbi is also allegedly embroiled in romantic relationship with her “adopted” sibling Nick Gordon as well as allegedly dealing with continued drug and alcohol abuse that has her extended family “worried sick.” All of which would make for great TV…if it was written for a fictional show. That would probably have to be aired on HBO. As if that wasn’t enough to think about, you know dad Bobby Brown is going to want in on this after starring in his own reality show in 2005, and he is less than a month out from a DUI! There are so many factors to seriously consider, girl!

“This show is being done against her family’s advice,” RadarOnline’s source claims. We’re going to go on record as giving this idea one gently raised eyebrow of disapproval. Of course we want Bobbi to be happy, but displaying her life for public scrutiny seems like it could only end in heartache. Can’t we start with a starring role in a Whitney Houston biopic and/or that Tyler Perry sitcom, and go from there?

[Photo: Bobbi Kristina’s Twitter]

by (@hallekiefer)

Lance Bass Gives Us The Boy Band Reality Show Of Our Dreams

Do you miss the late ’90s? Were some of you even born in the late ’90s? If you remember a time where puka shells, frosted tips and matching track suits were enough to steal your pubescent heart, Lance Bass’s boy band reality show is going to make you fall in love all over again. “It’s a really great music show, starring all your favorite boy bands. It’s going to be really fun,” Bass explained Vulture. “I got a member from Backstreet Boys, A.J. McLean. A member from *NSYNC, Joey Fatone. A member from New Kids on the Block, Joe McIntyre. And a member from New Edition, Bobby Brown.” Add Chris Kirkpatrick to that list and he’s already managed to assumed our favorite band of all time. OF ALL TIME!

Adding to the same trend that spawned NKOTBSB’s summer tour, Lance explains that each veteran singer is “going to form a boy band, each, from the most talented guys in America that I’ve scouted, and then they’ll go head-to-head in a competition to see who the best band is, so it’s bragging rights for the guy in the group, for sure.” Though Lance admits he doesn’t officially have everyone signed on quite yet: “I think Bobby will do it. I think he’d love it.” You kids today with your Justin Bieber. Do you even remember the majesty that was “Dirty Pop”? You’re in for a real treat.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Bristol Palin Lands Reality Show, Wishes She Was Raven-Symoné

We’re onto your game, Bristol Palin. Today we find out that Bristol Palin landed a reality show and it just so happens that it features her living with former That’s So Raven star Kyle Massey. We know Massey and Palin were buddies on Dancing With The Stars, but this seems a little suspiciously sitcom-y to us. A very specific sitcom, if you get our drift.

The new BIO show reportedly focuses on Bristol’s move to L.A. with her son Tripp, where she’ll bunk with Massey and his brother, Zoey 101‘s Chris Massey. Palin will be working with a small charity during her reality show stint, though with all the money Bristol’s pregnancy prevention work has made her, she should have plenty of work-free hours to get into some wacky highjinks. Hmmm, hanging out with Disney stars, making crazy money, losing so much weight she has a new face…sounds exactly like what our girl Raven-Symoné would do. Next thing you know, Bristol will gain psychic abilities that she will comically misinterpret, thus making her predictions come true. BIO has yet to announce what the show will be called, but if they dare include the words “that’s” and/or “so” in the title, we are going to straight-up lose our minds.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Coco Gets A Reality Show; Balance Returns To The Universe

Have you guys been sensing a deep disturbance in the Force for the past, oh, 40 billion years? Maybe you’ve been picking up on some lingering sense of imbalance and injustice that pervades everything on a molecular level? Luckily for the integrity of the space-time fabric continuum, Coco’s reality show is on the way! TMZ reports that Ice-T‘s wife and object of more fantasies than the lost city of El Dorado will be filming her upcoming show in New York, and we will be able to get to sleep at night without the feeling that something is not right in the world.

The only thing holding the universe together up until now has been Coco’s Twitter. However, the world has a thirst for the orange ingenue that no volume of Thong Tuesdays can satisfy. “Since the secrets out.Yes,been working really hard this month on my new Reality Show that airs June 12th on E! 1030pm after the Kardashians,” she tweeted this afternoon. The most shocking part of all of this is how it took this long for Coco to land a reality show, considering that is what she was put on Earth to do (besides vacuum in a fishnet cat suit, of course). Help us, Coco’s fantastic plastic butt! If you can’t save us, then who can?

by (@hallekiefer)

Selena Gomez Shoots Pilot For Disney Prank Show

What’s the likelihood that the only reason Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are dating is to slowly but inevitably Punk the entire United States of America with their so-called relationship? We can never trust their supposed romance now that we know Selena Gomez is filming a new prank show for Disney. “Selena shot the pilot and it’s basically like Ashton Kutcher’s old show but with the Disney kids,” an insider told HollywoodLife. “Selena was having a ton of fun with it. She’s a goof ball at heart.” If by “goof ball” you mean a cruel jokester about to fake- steal Elle Fanning‘s car and pretend to drive it off a cliff, then yeah, she sure is.

The real reason we find news of the Punk’d-like “alternative series” so questionable is that Justin Bieber was rumored to be hosting Punk’d after it was suggested that MTV was considering a re-launch of the show. This all seems too convenient to be an accident. Maybe the news of Gomez’ prank news…is itself a prank? A Punking within a Punking! It’s like Inception, except we know we’re awake.

[Photo: Getty Images]


VH1 Greenlights Audrina Patridge Series


Details are scant, but we can confirm that a series is on the way to VH1 focusing on recent Dancing With the Stars eliminee and Hills star Audrina Patridge. The official word is below…

Audrina Patridge, star of MTV’s The Hills and front-runner on Dancing with the Stars, is returning to television with a new show on VH1.  The still untitled project will document Patridge’s life with her family as she tries to navigate the world of fame and celebrity in Hollywood.  VH1 has greenlit the series, which will begin shooting early next year. Patridge will produce the series along with her manager Dave Fleming, and excecutive producer Mark Burnett.

[Image via Getty]


Bret Michaels’ Infamous Billboard Sells Out


Proving that sex sells even things that people don’t buy anymore (in this case, magazines), the issue of Billboard bearing Bret Michaels‘ bare body sold out its run of single-copy newsstand issues, according to the rocker-reality star’s Facebook. The posting, which sources the magazine’s circulation department, notes that this exceeded Billboard’s expectations — but probably not more so than Bret’s abs apparently rock-hard! Moving so many units is additionally impressive for a magazine that charges $6.99 per issue in the U.S. If you missed out and don’t mind a bigger dip into your pocket, the issue is available online for $12.99. [Bret Michaels’ Facebook]

Remember, Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It premieres Monday, October 18 at 10/9c.

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Fantasia: “I Was Born Before The Disney Movie”


Fantasia is either over 70-years-old or unaware of her Disney history. In a recent interview with MSN TV, Fantasia was asked if she was named after the Disney movie she shares a name with. The Fantasia for Real star’s answer? “I was born before the Disney movie.” (She added that she was named after the fantasia crystal.) The movie Fantasia, of course, dates back to 1940 (it was the third feature-length Disney movie after Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Pinocchio). Instead of saying, “Oh, you must be confused by its many theatrical rereleases,” or, “Fantasia 2000 was not the first Fantasia, as the modifying date suggests,” the interviewer followed up the question with, “Were you shocked when the movie eventually came out?” Is this real life? Is it a fantasia? Just exactly what in the revisionist history hell is going on here?

It would seem that Fantasia was more dismayed than shocked when she ultimately caught wind of the movie:

“All the kids in school were really excited about going to the movie, but there was no talking in the movie. It was just music. When we got back, all the kids would say, ‘Your movie is boring.’ And I said, ‘It wasn’t my movie!’ I do have a best friend whose name is Santasia [sic], and I think that’s how we became best friends, because when we were in class together, the teacher used to say, ‘Santasia, be quiet!’ She was actually on the first season of Fantasia for Real.”

“Santasia” is actually spelled “Santezja.” Regardless, there’s no word if there’s a long-lost Disney movie with that name. We’ll just have to wait to be shocked by its release. [MSN TV]

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