Celebrity Affairs

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Moment Lindsay Lohan Learned She Had A New Half-Sibling: “I Didn’t Even Hear That!”

Watch the video above and you’ll see something fairly extraordinary: A person learning they have a long lost sibling, and then treating it like it’s NBD and getting right back on the promotional pitch! Yesterday it was revealed that Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael fathered a lovechild back in the 90s, but we guess no one got around to telling her. She apparently first heard the news this morning during a television interview.

The controversial actress (polite euphemism for train-wreck) made an appearance on Good Morning America with Amy Robach today to discuss the airing of her upcoming TV-movie, Liz and Dick. But as so often happens, conversation turned towards her troubled history and family life, including the news of her newly discovered half-sister. Her reaction? “I didn’t even hear that, so thanks for the news!” Annnnnd then it was right back in the discussion of Elizabeth Taylor. Amazing! Either she’s really single minded, or maybe that was just her way of deflecting salacious family gossip and getting back to the task at hand: Resurrecting her career.

The Lifetime produced flick is certainly the most talked about made-for-TV-movie in recently memory, and people are eagerly waiting to see if it will be Lohan’s return to form. She admits channeling her own experiences while playing the role of screen legend, Elizabeth Taylor, who was also ruthlessly scrutinized by the media. “I think that everyone goes through things in life, and I like to learn from my mistakes, obviously,” she says. “But I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone through certain things, everything happens for a reason, good or bad. So you can just take what you’ve learned from it and move forward.” We’ll tune in on the 25th to see if Lilo moves forward, or just gets into another fender bender.

by (@hallekiefer)

What’s Classier? Jasmine Waltz’s Dating Record Or Her Street Brawl With Lindsay Lohan

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That’s a trick question! They are both as classy as  fine wine served out of a box, or a string quartet conducted by Coco.  Following an excruciatingly personal interview with Howard Stern this morning about his separation from wife Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette’s one-night stand Jasmine Waltz (well, okay, maybe two nights) is helping him down the slippery slope to public self-destruction with her long list of Hollywood exes. In addition to the apologetic Arquette, Waltz has dated, in ascending order of lameness, Chris Pine, Jess McCartney, Rod Stewart’s son Sean, and Ryan Seacrest. Normally we’d give a pass to anyone whose had their sheets ruined by Seacrest’s spray-tan sweat, but our allegiance to Monica…um, we mean Courteney runs too deep.

Not only has she taken most of the B-List for a test-drive, but reportedly Waltz also punched Lindsay Lohan this summer while working at nightclub Voyeur. Just to be clear: Waltz was on the clock when she may or may not have decked LiLo, which she denies happened.  “All I have to say is that disturbed little train wreck is delusional,”, Jasmine claimed at the time, as only another train wreck can. So is Waltz a villain, or just a celebrity gold digger that dug on the wrong man? Did David Arquette really not know all of this was going to blow up in his face? So many questions remain, though the question “Why exactly did Courteney leave?” seems pretty much been answered.

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Ashton And Demi Prepare To Celebrate Fifth Anniversary Despite Cheating Rumors

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore‘s marriage has always been scrutinized, because apparently it’s hard to believe that a celebrity couple with a 15-year age gap can be successful. This month has seen a sudden burst of infidelity rumors adding fuel to that fire, and time will tell how the relationship weathers such allegations. What was at first an apparent defamation lawsuit against Star Magazine has now become major tabloid fodder and it’s even this week’s People magazine cover. After Star published reports that Kutcher had an affair, Kutcher Tweeted “Star magazine you don’t get to stand behind ‘freedom of the press’ when you are writing fiction. I think Star magazine calling me a ‘cheater’ qualifies as defamation of character. I hope my lawyer agrees.” That’s not stopping media outlets from debating the possibility that he’s a cheater though.

Brittney Jones, the 21-year-old who alleged she and Kutcher hooked up, claims she and Kutcher met in July while at the Lucky Strikes bowling alley in L.A. and says Kutcher slipped her his number, which led to couch sex at Kutcher and Moore’s home. “It was tender and nice, not some random sex act,” Jones said of their random sex act. What’s also curious (but to be expected in 2010, gross though it may be), is how Jones has already hired a manager and publicist and admits to being “obsessed” with Kutcher. We assume so she can take the Montana Fishburne approach to furthering her career, so forgive us for thinking that’s a little shady.

Meanwhile, People magazine reports this week that the couple is more solid than ever and appear ready to fight any claims of infidelity. A source on the set of Demi’s new movie claims “She gushes over Ashton,” while another says “they seemed super committed.” To boot, they are preparing to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary on Friday, so the allegations could put a damper on things. Or at least a celebratory trip to the bowling alley.

Personally we’re choosing not to believe that Ashton strayed – the couple live their lives so publicly that we don’t think he would be crazy enough to cheat with a random girl in rented shoes. Not when you’ve got a member of the Brat Pack waiting for you at home.

by (@hallekiefer)

Balthazar Getty And Wife Move Past The Biggest Hurdle To Marital Bliss: Sienna Miller

Every relationship experiences a bump in the road now and then, though most of the bumps aren’t hot, blond, and currently dating Jude Law. In a new interview, Balthazar Getty and wife Rosetta open up about Balthazar’s affair with Sienna Miller, which hit the tabloids in 2008. Says Getty, “Here’s the bottom line: It was a very challenging time for everybody involved.” Yes, it must have been very challenging to see how much sunblock you could slather on a topless Sienna Miller before the paparazzi got bored and boated away. “Rosetta is understanding enough and spiritual enough to let us try,” Getty explained, which makes us hesitant to bring up the fact that he also supposedly canoodled with Lindsay Lohan. Is any woman “spiritual” enough to deal with that hot mess?

Added Getty, “You can do two things in life when an obstacle comes your way: You can tackle it, or you can allow it to break you down.”  While it seems cruel to call Sienna Miller an “it”, we wish these two luck. And if things don’t pan out for them, we wish Rosetta would just tackle Sienna and snap her over her knee like a Thanksgiving wishbone already.

by (@missmuttoo)

Tiger Woods Throws Out Paternity Suit By Deluded Ex-Mistress

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We may have lost track of Tiger Woods’ various mistresses, but they refuse to fade into obscurity. It seems that someone new (or old, depends on how you look at it) keeps crawling out of the woodwork.  This round goes to Number 15 on Tiger’s alleged mistress roster. Porn star Devon James had filed legal papers in Florida in June, claiming Tiger was the father of her 9-year-old son Austin Brinling. The paternity suit stated the she was trying to “establish paternity, parental responsibility, time-sharing, and/or child support of a minor child or children.”  Which translates to: ka-ching! Especially since the Elin Nordegren-Tiger Woods divorce drama was reaching its zenith at the time.

Now this is where it gets gold-digger bananas. Devon’s mother, who has custody of the child, allegedly performed a DNA test in 2002, which revealed that Tiger was not the father. Miz Devon refuses to believe that her mother had DNA testing at all – to her the results don’t exist – and wants to force Tiger to go in for another test.

Tiger has filed a counter-suit, asking for the case to be thrown out and to stop this massive waste of time. Porn star mommy has results whether she likes it or not, and he isn’t the father. We have a feeling the courts will agree with Tiger, for once. And Devon? Actually, we have no words left for you.

[Photo: Getty Images]